roger bevins iii
Their rumors, their discomfort, their hissing of things having nothing at all to do with us.
the reverend everly thomas
Their warm flesh, steaming breath, moist eyeballs, chafing undergarments.
roger bevins iii
Their terrible shovels laid carelessly against our trees.
the reverend everly thomas
But the touching. My God!
hans vollman
Not that they didn’t sometimes touch us.
roger bevins iii
Oh, they’d touch you, all right. They’d wrangle you into your sick-box.
hans vollman
Dress you how they wanted you. Stitch and paint you as necessary.
roger bevins iii
But once they had you how they wanted you, they never touched you again.
hans vollman
Well, Ravenden.
the reverend everly thomas
They touched Ravenden again.
roger bevins iii
But that sort of touching— hans vollman
No one wants that sort of touching.
the reverend everly thomas
The roof of his stone home was leaking. His sick-box had been damaged.
roger bevins iii
They hauled it into the daylight, threw open the lid.
the reverend everly thomas
It was autumn and leaves were falling all over the poor fellow. Proud type, too. Banker. Claimed to have owned a mansion on the— hans vollman
They yanked him out of the box and dropped him—thump!—into a new one. Then asked, in jest, had it hurt, and, if so, did he wish to file a complaint? Then they enjoyed a lengthy smoke, poor Ravenden (half in and half out, head tilted at a most uncomfortable angle) calling out feebly all the while for them to kindly place him in a less unseemly— the reverend everly thomas
That kind of touching— roger bevins iii
No one wants that.
hans vollman
But this—this was different.
roger bevins iii
The holding, the lingering, the kind words whispered directly into the ear? My God! My God!
the reverend everly thomas
To be touched so lovingly, so fondly, as if one were still— roger bevins iii
Healthy.
hans vollman
As if one were still worthy of affection and respect?
It was cheering. It gave us hope.
the reverend everly thomas
We were perhaps not so unlovable as we had come to believe.
roger bevins iii
XXV.
Please do not misunderstand. We had been mothers, fathers. Had been husbands of many years, men of import, who had come here, that first day, accompanied by crowds so vast and sorrowful that, surging forward to hear the oration, they had damaged fences beyond repair. Had been young wives, diverted here during childbirth, our gentle qualities stripped from us by the naked pain of that circumstance, who left behind husbands so enamored of us, so tormented by the horror of those last moments (the notion that we had gone down that awful black hole pain-sundered from ourselves) that they had never loved again. Had been bulky men, quietly content, who, in our first youth, had come to grasp our own unremarkableness and had, cheerfully (as if bemusedly accepting a heavy burden), shifted our life’s focus; if we would not be great, we would be useful; would be rich, and kind, and thereby able to effect good: smiling, hands in pockets, watching the world we had subtly improved walking past (this empty dowry filled; that education secretly funded). Had been affable, joking servants, of whom our masters had grown fond for the cheering words we managed as they launched forth on days full of import. Had been grandmothers, tolerant and frank, recipients of certain dark secrets, who, by the quality of their unjudging listening, granted tacit forgiveness, and thus let in the sun. What I mean to say is, we had been considerable. Had been loved. Not lonely, not lost, not freakish, but wise, each in his or her own way. Our departures caused pain. Those who had loved us sat upon their beds, heads in hand; lowered their faces to tabletops, making animal noises. We had been loved, I say, and remembering us, even many years later, people would smile, briefly gladdened at the memory.
the reverend everly thomas And yet.
roger bevins iii
And yet no one had ever come here to hold one of us, while speaking so tenderly.
hans vollman Ever.
roger bevins iii
XXVI.
Before long a sea of us surrounded the white stone home.
the reverend everly thomas And pushing forward, pressed the boy for details: How had it felt, being held like that? Had the visitor really promised to come again? Had he offered any hope for the alteration of the boy’s fundamental circumstance? If so, might said hope extend to us as well?
roger bevins iii
What did we want? We wanted the lad to see us, I think. We wanted his blessing. We wanted to know what this apparently charmed being thought of our particular reasons for remaining.
hans vollman
Truth be told, there was not one among the many here—not even the strongest—who did not entertain some lingering doubt about the wisdom of his or her choice.
roger bevins iii