Life in a Fishbowl

For Jackie, it was all becoming too much to bear. First was the news of her father’s inoperable cancer, then the eBay listing, and now television crews invading her house. Jackie was drifting upside down in the void of space. No direction, no propulsion, no air.

The kids at school had treated her like a leper after they found out her father had a brain tumor. On some level that hurt her; on another, she was happy for the privacy. But now that the Stone family was going to have its own television series, kids went from ignoring Jackie to making her the center of attention. The #LifeAndDeath hashtag and the two-minute trailer, now on YouTube, were trending in a way and manner that Jackie just couldn’t understand. Why did all these people care? She couldn’t get from one class to another without answering a question, overhearing gossip about her family, or deflecting some ill-formed taunt. Worst of all, a particularly vapid girl in the senior class had started a Life and Death Fan Club and was distributing T-shirts. A photo of the Stone family, taken from Jared’s Flickr account and featuring a particularly surly Jackie, was emblazoned on the front of the shirt. How could anyone, Jackie wondered, be so thoughtless, so callous, as to join a fan club to watch her father die?

She begged her parents to let her stay home, but Deirdre insisted that they not give in to the glare of the television lights, that “everything should be as normal as we can manage.” Jared didn’t seem to grasp the gravity of his daughter’s reaction, or he did grasp it but didn’t trust that he really grasped it, and deferred to Deirdre.

The only peace Jackie found in her daily routine was chatting with Max during her computer lab. Turning a blind eye to the Facebook news feed, lest she stumble across a post about Life and Death, Jackie would move her mouse directly to the chat window and click on Max’s name. Other than Trebuchet, he was the one thing in Jackie’s life that was constant and unchanging. Mostly.



Max

Tell me, Solnyshko, what is this euthanasia?



This was Max’s first question in their first chat after she had abandoned him the morning of her crying fit. She had sent him a private message, assuring him that everything was fine and that she just wanted him to forget about it and move on. Max took the request to heart and pretended like it had never happened. But that didn’t stop him from trying to find other ways of getting Jackie to talk about her predicament.



Jackie

Why?

Max

Just something about which I was reading.

Jackie

“Just something I was reading about,” Max.

Max

Yes, that.

Jackie

It’s like when someone is sick and dying and you help them end their life.



Max was silent for a moment.



Max

You mean, you kill them?

Jackie

Well, yeah, but only because they are really sick.

Max

I am not sure this I understand.

Jackie

“I’m not sure I understand this,” Max. Put the noun at the end.

Max

Yes, yes. But tell me, do people do this? Help each the other die?

Jackie

I don’t know. I guess so. But only when they’re so sick they’re going to die anyway.

Max

As with cancer.

Jackie

Yes.



This was hitting close to home, but Jackie, for some reason, didn’t mind. For one thing, it was Max. He was a million miles away. For another, it was good to finally talk about it without really talking about it.



Max

This does not to me seem right. Oops. This does not seem right to me.

Jackie



Max

Smiley face because it does not seem right?

Jackie

No, Max, smiley face because the way you talk is cute.



I cannot believe I just typed that, Jackie thought to herself.



Max

This I like the sound of!

Jackie

LOL!

Max

What?

Jackie

Nothing, Max, don’t worry. But tell me why you think it’s wrong?

Max

To help a person die?

Jackie

Yes.

Max

Because life is … what is the word? Please wait while I look it up.



There was a long pause while Max consulted his Russian–English dictionary.



Max

Because life is sacred.

Jackie

Yeah, it is. So then why make a person suffer before he dies if he’s going to die anyway?



There was another long pause, and this time Jackie wanted to change the subject. Her own feelings on euthanasia were starting to crystallize, but she didn’t want to get all weird and eggheady on Max.

She was saved by the bell for the next period.



Jackie

’Bye, Max, I have to go to my next class. Next time let’s talk about something fun.

Max

Anything for you, Solnyshko.



Jackie left the computer lab and went to her locker. Someone had taped a news article there.

Quest for Stone

(AP) Huntsville, Alabama—When seventeen-year-old Hazel Huck stumbled on the eBay listing for terminally ill Oregonian Jared Stone, something touched a nerve.

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