Life In Reverse

“Vegas?” I tsk, veering over to the left to pass a slow-ass car in the other lane. “I’m not sure I could tolerate your company for fifteen hours.”

She flicks my arm while giving me the evil eye. “Have you always been this sarcastic?”

“Only when I like someone,” I retort, the words sliding free without reservation—because they’re the truth.

That shuts her up for a little while. Actually, that shuts us both up. Me, not knowing what to do with this shitstorm of feeling inside my chest. Like a tsunami I’m not prepared for. My heart doesn’t seem big enough for all this emotion. Once again, my head tries to convince my heart that it doesn’t matter. But for the first time in my life, my heart says ‘fuck you’ and refuses to listen.

A few minutes tick by and I steal a glance at Ember. She ducks her head and peers out the windshield. “Look at that sky, there aren’t any clouds. It’s like a sheet of blue,” she points out, and it strikes me that she has this sense of wonder about the world—almost childlike in ways. Somewhere along the line I’ve lost that, or maybe I’ve pushed it away. Because, what’s the point? “It’s definitely a perfect day for….” She hums to the music. “Where did you say we were going again?”

“I didn’t.” I grin. “But I’ll give you credit for being persistent.” With a quick look over at her, I add. “You must’ve been a real joy on long car trips when you were a kid. Are we there yet?” I tease, and she snorts, a smile creeping onto her cheeks.

“Okay, you found me out.” She confesses with a spring in her voice. “But I will tell you, my dad was always prepared. He used to buy loads of those word finds and crossword puzzles. Anything he could do to keep us busy, because he knew he was going to have his hands full.” She persists, and I find myself hanging onto her every word. I want to learn all there is to know about Ember Bennett. “I always had to sit in the middle because Avery and Zack argued like crazy. So I was kind of the peacekeeper.”

“Why didn’t they get along?”

“Until recently, I might’ve said it was because they were too different.” She pauses and I can hear the wheels spinning. “But something Avery said… I think she was jealous of his relationship with me. The fact that we were so close.”

Our exit approaches and I steer the car into the right hand lane. “Your sister is like a fireball.”

“Yeah, she is.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see her pull something from her purse. A pack of cigarettes, I think. It makes no sense. I’ve never seen her smoke before and it seems contrary to her character. “Want one?” she offers, and I shake my head.

“I try to stay away from those things.” We reach the red light at the end of the exit ramp and roll to a stop. She stares down at the pack then up to me, frowning, as if she doesn’t understand why I don’t want to put death into my lungs.

“You don’t chew gum?”

“Huh?”

“They’re Bubble Gum Cigarettes,” she reveals, a smile teasing her lips.

“Are you shitting me?”

“No, why would I be. See….” She unrolls the white wrapper and shoves the pink wad into her mouth. I give her the side eye and her gaze narrows on mine. “Problem?”

“Nope. Just making a mental note.” I tap the side of my head. “Mickey Mouse, Bubble Gum Cigarettes. Anything else I should know?” I quickly give the inside of her bag the once over before sliding my eyes back to the road. “Harboring any Red Hots, Doritos maybe?”

“Ew. Those are disgusting, and so bad for you.”

I grin wide as the light turns green. “They are.”

She makes a clucking sound with her tongue. “I don’t know how you stay in such great shape eating all that crap?”

“You checking me out, Mickey?” And I don’t need to see her face to know her cheeks are pink.

“You’re not exactly hard on the eyes,” she blurts, and a surprised laugh lifts itself from my chest. Although I don’t know why I’m surprised anymore. She says whatever she thinks, and I love that she doesn’t flip her hair over her shoulder or bat her eyelashes to try to get my attention. All she has to do is exist for that to happen.





I DON’T KNOW what happens to me around Vance Davenport. But I’m starting not to question it anymore. This jittery quivering inside my chest, caught between nervous and excited, doesn’t feel bad to me. And truth be told, he really is easy on the eyes. Especially the curve of his overconfident grin. It gets me every time.

I’m busy staring at his lips, the ones that form that irresistible smile when I vaguely hear his words.

“We’re here.”

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