Soon after the visit Dom and I settled into each other’s lives with very little hitch or hiccups. There were still new things about one another that we were discovering now that the distance and hesitation I had built between us was gone, but for the most part the time we spent together felt fated, it felt comfortable and well-worn. When we were together it was like love wrapped around us in a cozy blanket and for all his talk about working for it and appreciating the results of conquering something that was hard, being in love with each other was easy and really no struggle at all.
After my freak-out over his face when he was hurt I noticed Dom’s attitude about his job started to change a little. For the first few weeks when he went back, he left for every shift from either my house or his apartment with a loose smile and some pep in his step. After the incident which left him slightly roughed up and me practically inconsolable I noticed that he was leaving for his shifts with more trepidation and far less enthusiasm. I questioned him about it one night while we were getting ready for bed and he brushed me off saying that he was just having some trouble finding his groove with a new partner. I didn’t believe it was that simple but as he had wanted his badge and his job back so badly, I couldn’t figure out what could be bothering him, since he had gotten everything he wanted … including me.
I let it drop for the time being but as the days went on, the more and more dissatisfied he got. He was withdrawn and sullen. He was quiet and moody. He was acting an awful lot like I did when I first realized I was falling for him, so I called him on it and was promptly shut down again.
That morning before we both left for work, I handed Dom a cup of coffee.
“You need to tell me what’s going on with you. I can’t be in a relationship where we keep things from one another, Dom. There’s too much at stake here for you to start shutting me out now.” I knew it was hypocritical considering I’d kept him in the dark for so long, but I knew now what we had to lose if he didn’t let me in.
He narrowed his eyes at me over the rim of his coffee mug. “Everything is fine, Lando. I’m just trying to settle in.”
I shook my head at him. “Things are not fine. You’re not happy, Dom and I can see it.”
His dark eyebrows winged up and he turned to put his mug on the counter. “You make me happy. Coming home to you and going to bed with you every night is better than anything has ever been.”
Well, this was something, but it wasn’t enough. “You make me happy, too, but there has to be more to life than that. You worked so hard to get back to work. I thought you would be celebrating, not moping around.”
He shrugged absently and moved to grab his coat and his keys. “I thought I would be celebrating, too. It hasn’t worked out that way.”
I followed him to the door and grabbed his arm as he was about to leave. He looked down at my fingers and then up at the concerned expression I knew was stamped all over my face. “There has to be a reason it hasn’t worked out that way, Dom. I don’t want you out there, drifting in a job as dangerous as yours is. That’s a recipe for disaster.”
He opened his mouth to argue, I could see the fight fire up in his eyes and I had flashbacks to the last time I disagreed with someone I loved right before they walked out the door. My panic must have been clear in my expression because I saw the battle go quiet as he continued to watch me and then he leaned forward and gave me a quick kiss before shouting over his shoulder, “Maybe you’re right. Don’t worry about me and I’ll see you later.”
Had we met? Of course I was going to worry about him and a few hours later, when I was in the middle of a session with a pro golfer with a wicked shoulder injury and one of the staff came and found me to tell me once again there was a cop waiting for me in my office, I almost passed out. All I could imagine was Royal or one of Dom’s other coworkers there to tell me he was hurt, or worse.