I was struggling to keep things light and not too intense with Lando because I could tell every time that going back to work was mentioned, a change occurred in his demeanor. I was working with a new therapist, a young woman who cut me no slack and was just as tough on me about overdoing things as Lando had been. But even though I was with her 90 percent of the time during therapy, he still checked on me throughout the session and he had spent the last two nights in my apartment and in my bed. As long as the future wasn’t brought up and I avoided any mention of what was next, things were great, but as soon as any hint of what was to come entered the equation, Lando got quite pensive and withdrawn. I knew he thought my job was dangerous and risky, that I was putting myself on the line with little reward for my effort, but it was what I did. It was who I was, and as much as I liked the guy, really liked him and could see something real and lasting happening between us, I wasn’t going to give up everything in order to be with him. I couldn’t. If I wasn’t a cop, I didn’t know who I was and that shook me in ways I couldn’t get my head around.
When the night of the game rolled around, I was really pumped. Not just because Lando had seats right on center ice behind the glass but because when I went to the gun range to see how training my non-dominant side to lead was coming along, I hit every target dead center and had no trouble loading and unloading the clip with my left hand. The recoil and jerk didn’t even bother my shoulder, which was a first. Taking it easy on my body and making it stronger the right way was paying off and I could hardly contain my excitement.
I texted Royal first and got back a smiley face because she was still in a lot of pain from her ribs and just as annoyed as I had been about being laid up and unable to return to work until medically cleared. I texted Lando, too, and didn’t get a response for well over an hour. I told myself that was because he was with a client and didn’t have his phone on him, but deep down I knew that wasn’t the case. He wasn’t excited for me or happy about the news because it meant I was one step closer to getting my spot back on the force.
Eventually, I got back a smiley face from him as well with a message stating that he was excited to see me later that night. It burned a little. I wanted to be involved with him, wanted to let myself get attached, but something in the back of my mind warned it wasn’t a good idea, that as soon as I was back on the streets, Lando would be nothing more than a fond memory. It was hard as hell to heal my body after it had been so badly broken, so I didn’t want to think about how impossible it would be to heal my heart if it ended up shattering too. I decided my best bet was to keep things fun and sexy and just see where they took me. It was easier said than done when every single part of me leapt and pulsated with excitement and anticipation when he texted a few hours later to tell me he was waiting outside.
I was into him. Really into him and it was going to suck when one of us had to walk away.
Those were worries for another day. All I was going to do was live in the moment and meet him as he leaned across the center console of his fancy-ass sports car for a kiss. A kiss that quickly had my blood heating and the interior of the car feeling smaller than it was. I liked it a lot when he wrapped his hand around the back of my head and scratched his nails along the scruff of my shaved head. This man understood what I liked and what was bound to make me react with a skill that shouldn’t be possible in the short time we had known each other.
When I pulled back, we were both breathing hard and his freckles were standing out against the flush on his cheeks. I liked that he was as affected by me as I was by him.