I suppose I expected things to be awkward, but he was angry with me. Furious, even. And I didn’t understand why.
We were both to blame for what happened. The sex didn’t just happen. I didn’t seduce him. We were an item. We loved each other. I’d be damned if I was going to take all the blame for what we were caught doing.
Maggie opened the back door and returned with Lidiya, holding a Barbie doll at the very same time that John returned with our drinks. He placed three glasses of juice down for Lev, Maggie, and me, while he and James sipped on beer.
Well…this was going to be fun.
About as fun as pulling teeth, I thought.
“So,” Maggie started, raising her shoulders in a light shrug. She held a firm smile, but her brows pulled down in a would-be frown. She asked quietly, “Where have you been, honey?”
I opened my mouth to respond, but nothing came out. Gaping fish was a good look on me.
Instead, Lev replied calmly, “Up until three months ago, Mina lived on the streets.”
Silence. Thick as concrete.
“What happened three months ago?” James asked icily.
Lev uttered, “I found her.” His message was implied. I was his. His hand came down on my thigh, squeezing lightly.
John surmised, “You chose being homeless over living with us?” He sounded hurt.
Maggie’s eyes shone brightly. “We would’ve taken care of you, honey. You were our girl.”
It was funny what seven years could do to a person. In listening to all of this bullshit, I found myself bitter. I scoffed, “Oh yeah? I thought I was nothing but a little whore, Maggie? Isn’t that what you called me? Oh wait, no. That’s not right. Apparently, I was a little tramp.”
Maggie drew back, her expression pained, but I wasn’t done.
“You were angry with me.” I turned to a somber John. “You both were.” I looked at James. His jaw clenched tight. “And you…” I shook my head. “You said nothing.” My heart clenched. “You said you loved me, but when we were caught, where were you? Hiding with you tail between your legs, that’s where.” I shook my head. “Don’t tell me I had a place here. I considered you my parents up until that day.” I glared at James. “I wasn’t the only one to blame.”
John spoke quietly, “I think we all handled the situation poorly.”
Maggie shook her head. “No. I handled the situation poorly.” She blinked away tears. “I know it doesn’t mean much now, but I regretted saying those things to you the second they were out of my mouth.” She tried to force a laugh, but it came out a whimper. “I don’t even know why I said it. But I’ve regretted it for seven years.”
Her emotion hit me hard.
I felt like an asshole. “It wasn’t just you, Maggie. The whole situation was out of control.” I sighed. “There was no way you would have let James and me be together. Even if somehow you were okay with it, which you weren’t, child services would have placed me in a different home when they found out. I was seventeen. I didn’t want to go to another home.” My breath caught as I let out a broken, “This was my home.”
At my sudden distress, Maggie broke down. She placed a hand over her face and cried silently. The mood at the table had dampened a notch and a half. John sat quietly while James frowned down at his hands.
This was something I caused. I needed to do something, say something. “For what it’s worth, you guys were the best. I loved you, and I never thought badly of you after what happened. I just needed to go. Be on my own. I was sick of being someone else’s burden.”
At that, James stood suddenly. “I’m out.” He didn’t look at me. “Glad you’re not dead, Mina.”
Before anyone could respond, he was gone. I stood before I realized what I was doing and followed him. He was not going to make me feel guilty, dammit.
When I stepped out the front door, he was already unlocking his car. “What is your problem, James?”