“It’s fine, really. I’m sure he didn’t mean what he implied or whatever he said. I didn’t even understand half of it.”
“That’s not what I meant. I don’t like you saying you got your own place, like our places aren’t together, but we’ll get back to that in a minute. Tell me what he said so I can straighten it out.”
I don’t know why I don’t want to tell him. Okay, maybe it’s because I don’t want to seem insecure. Lucias is like a freaking sex god. I don’t even want to think about the kind of women that come on to him.
“No secrets, Izzy. I told you that shit already.” He had. Just a few nights ago when he came home looking like his fists had been in a fight. Knuckles all red and torn. I knew. When I started cleaning him up, he told me if I asked he’d tell me.
It was on the tip of my tongue to do it. I just shook my head. I could tell he didn’t want to, that he didn’t want that touching me. When I’d shook my head, he kissed me and said if there was something I ever wanted to know, all I had to do was ask and he’d tell me. That he’d never keep secrets from me and he expected the same. And now he was asking.
“Just that you might be with someone already,” I shuffle on my feel a little before I finish, “you know, inside or whatever.”
Lucias lets out a breath. “No, baby, he said that shit to probably get you gone, not knowing who you were. Everyone knows I claimed someone.”
“You have women just showing up trying to see you or something?” I push, unable to help myself.
“No, I can’t say we have women banging on the doors to get in here. It’s a hard rule. I don’t let that shit fly. Only people allowed in this building are members and property.”
There goes that word again.
“Do you not want me here?” I ask. I know we just gave ourselves the clear to be out in public together, but he hasn’t asked me to come here, even tonight when he could have.
Now he starts to look like he doesn’t want to answer the question. I take a step back. I was worried about this. I don’t really fit in with a biker gang or whatever they are. Lucias doesn’t talk much about them and I hadn’t done a lot of asking.
He reaches out, grabbing my wrist and pulling me back to him.
“Fuck, it’s not what you think.” He runs his other hand through his hair like he’s trying to find the words. “I didn’t want to share you yet, and I wanted you to get to know me before you got to know the president of the Ghost Riders. Hell, you saw a lot that first night you were here and I was fucking shocked you let me in, but I didn’t want to push it. I’ve been working on making you fall in love with me before you saw the rest.”
He leans down a little, bringing his face to mine. “You play by all the rules and are way too fucking good for me, but I’m selfish and I want you, and I’ve been trying to make sure you can never slip free. No matter what you see.”
I close the distance between us, molding my lips to his. Lucias instantly kisses me back, taking control of the kiss like he always does, pushing his way into my mouth. I don’t know how long we’re like that before I hear someone catcalling.
Lucias growls, pulling his mouth from mine. I turn to see Cas standing in the doorway of the building.
“Don’t worry. I smacked Bulldog on the back of the head for giving your old lady a hard time,” she says. Lucias just shakes his head. “Izzy, do me a favor and don’t bring up the whole shooting me thing. I finally just got Vincent out of my ass. Literally. Let’s let sleeping dogs lie.”
I just nod. I haven’t seen her since that night, and she seems really okay with the fact that I shot her. She turns and goes back inside.
“Alright, let’s do this.” Lucias takes my bag from my shoulder and puts it over his, then takes my hand, pulling me towards the door.
I stop, yanking on his hand.
“I love you,” I tell him, because I want him to know that. No matter what I see on the other side of that door, nothing will change that. If all the things he’s been telling me about how he feels about me and what I mean to him are true, then that’s all I care about.
He turns to look down at me, then drags my body to his once again. His hard-on digs into me.
“You did not just fucking tell me that before I have to walk in here with a group of my brothers and introduce you,” he growls, making me smile. Lucias has been telling me he loves me from the beginning, but he told me not to tell him until I knew for sure. I’d known, but I could tell it was important to him. He wanted to hear me say it when I really knew him, because he wouldn’t ever let me go once I said it. But I think that was a lie. He wasn’t letting me go long before that. Months before, even.
I stand on my tip toes, giving him a quick kiss on the mouth, making him growl again.
“Let’s do this so you can take me back to your room and you can hold me captive again,” I say with confidence, wondering why I even doubted this man moments ago. It doesn’t matter if I fit in. I fit with Lucias, and that’s all that matters.
14
Lucias