“I don’t want him to have my child, whether that be in the ground or whatever ‘better place’ they are in,” I whispered.
“Do you have that right? To deny your child her father?”
I looked sharply up at him.
“Is that what you think I’m doing?”
“Isn’t it? Maybe I’m talking out of turn here, but along with all the ‘church stuff,’ I vowed I’d always give an honest opinion with my flock.”
“I’m not sure I’m one of the flock,” I said, hearing the indignation in my voice.
“No, but you are my friend,” he answered simply.
I took a deep breath. “I’m not sure I believe, Daniel. I don’t know if there is a ‘better place,’ heaven, or wherever. I want to visit my daughter, I don’t want to be reminded of him every time I do.”
“I can totally understand that.” He leant forwards and took one of my hands in his.
“Exhuming a body is not only costly, but potentially distressing, Dani. What you saw go into the ground isn’t going to look the same when it comes out. Now, I don’t suppose you’ll want to be there, but you’re responsible for what happens to both Trey and Hannah. That’s a lot of effort and thought to go through, I just want to be sure you’re up to that right at this moment, and this isn’t a knee jerk reaction.”
“If there were problems in our relationship, any hint that he wasn’t happy, I think I would come to terms with all this easier. But he was with her for two years, at that time, our marriage was going from strength to strength. The deceit is the worst thing. He was leading two lives, Daniel. He doesn’t deserve peace, forgiveness, or whatever is supposed to happen.”
“I can point you in the right direction for the application, all I ask is that you give it another couple of weeks and see how you feel then,” he said.
“Okay, I can do that. I don’t think I’ll change my mind, though.”
He nodded and let go of my hands. I missed the warmth and comfort holding my hand had offered me.
“How far have you gotten with the barn?” he asked.
“Miller has sent in the applications, now it’s just waiting for approval, or not.”
“What will you do if you don’t get it?”
“I’ll stay with Dad for the time being, but after that, I don’t know. I guess I’ll see if I can buy a little cottage or something.”
“Be nice to have you stay around.”
I gave him a smile and finished my tea. “I ought to get going.”
“If you fancy another night at the pub, or maybe a meal out, just give me a shout,” he said as he walked me to the front door.
“Thanks, I will.”
I liked Daniel, I enjoyed his company; I hadn’t liked his opinion or advice. I guessed he was talking to me as a friend, and he felt he had the right to, but it wasn’t quite what I’d wanted to hear.
I wandered back along the lanes, thinking on his words. Whether I liked them or not, he had a point. Did I want Hannah buried on her own? I hadn’t thought much about any of the people in the cemetery, I hadn’t thought about souls and heaven, and all that nonsense. Or was it? Did it comfort me to think Hannah was someplace nice, with someone who would love her? But then I’d come back to that one question that bugged me. Which child was the mistake? It could well be that neither was, but how realistic was that? I just didn’t see Trey wanting two children, one with his wife, and one with his mistress, being born just a few months apart. While I was on bed rest, he was fucking my sister-in-law.
I shook my head to clear the thought and swallowed down the nausea that bubbled to my throat.
My hatred for Trey intensified, that transferred to Helen. The first thing I would do is respond to the solicitor’s letter, asking for evidence. I wanted to see a medical document that proved Trey was Alistair’s father. I had no doubt about the affair, but I wasn’t going to make it easy for her at all.
Christian was stomping around the kitchen when I returned, he held the letter I’d received in his hand; I guessed I’d left it on the table.
“What the fuck does she think she’s doing?” he shouted, waving the letter in the air.
“Trying to get money for her child, I guess.”
“We need to get a solicitor to fight this. She shouldn’t get a fucking penny, from either of us.”
“I have that sorted.”
“How?”
“I’m quite capable of finding a solicitor, and Miller knows of a great one who might be able to help. Firstly, I’m going to respond and ask for evidence that Trey is the father.”
“What do you mean?”
I thought it was quite obvious. “We don’t know Trey is the father, she said he is, but she hadn’t proved it to me.”
“She told me he was, isn’t that enough?”
“Absolutely not. You could be father, we just don’t know.”
“How can you trust this Miller guy, he’s just a builder, isn’t he?”
I wasn’t sure that I liked the tone of his voice when he used Miller’s name.
“Who also happens to have become a friend. If the person he has in mind isn’t able to help, I’ll let you know.”
“You need a lawyer that practices in family law,” he said.
“Thank you, I’ll find out if she does.”
“I think it’s disgusting she thinks she can get away with this,” Christian said.
“You’re trying to leave her penniless, Chris, I imagine she’s looking out for her child in any way she can.”
Christian spun on his heels and stalked towards me. His attitude caused my heart to skip a beat and not in a good way.
“So this is my fault, is it?” he said, waving the letter in front of my face.
I reached up and took the letter from his hand.
“I didn’t say that. Chris, you’re not the only one that has been devastated by this, yet you seem to riding roughshod over Dad’s feelings and mine. You’re angry; I get that. Don’t you think I am as well? Don’t you think I’d like to rip every strand of hair from her head? But I know it takes two to have an affair, one happens not to be around anymore, otherwise I’d want to do the same to him.”
“I just don’t know how you can be so calm about all of is?”
“Calm! You’ve no idea whether I’m calm or not because you are so wrapped up in your own misery you can’t see beyond it. My daughter died, Chris. She was taken from me before her time, I didn’t get to see her, to smell or hold her while she was alive. She didn’t get to spend more than a few hours on this earth. She didn’t get to know me, her mother. My husband fucking your wife is nothing compared to that. So if you think I’m calm, one, you don’t me as well as you should, two, he’s dead, there’s nothing I can do about that. I can’t divorce him, I can’t shout or scream at him. All I can do is keep breathing, that’s when you’re not here suffocating us with your anger.”
By the end of my speech, I was shouting.
Christian’s face was puce, I assumed with anger. His mouth was flapping open and closed as if my comments had rendered him mute.
“Do you know where I’ve been today?” I asked, calmer. He shook his head.
“I went to see the vicar to find out what I had to do to exhume Trey because I don’t want him even in the ground with my daughter. Is that what you’d call calm?”
“Can you do that?” he asked, not answering my question.
“Apparently I can apply for a licence, whether I’d get it or not, I don’t know. I don’t even know if I’ll really do it. I’m angry and I’m making rash decisions, like you.”
“What rash decisions am I making?” He slumped into a chair as he spoke.
“She’s entitled to half the equity in your house, yes? You’re trying to wrangle a way out of that. I understand, I do, Chris. She’s hurt you in the worst possible way. But you can fester in that for years, or you can divorce, give her what she’s legally entitled to, and start your life over. Is she morally entitled to anything? No, of course not. You’re the injured party, so am I. I intend to solve this issue as quickly as possible, get on and build myself a new house, and a new life.”