He stepped to me and placed his palm to my cheek and I felt like I was in the Godfather with Marlon Brando and not in a jail cell with Vic.
“Do yourself a favor...when you get out, make changes, make your life count, kid, because it’s too fucking short. Don’t fall back into old ways and don’t let breaking the law come before the one who keeps you warm at night. Don’t become me because it’ll hurt, worse than any bullet ever could—knowing your wife cries herself to sleep every night and you have two daughters you never got to walk down the aisle or dance with.”
He paused, dropped his hand and looked away before continuing.
“I’ve got a granddaughter due to be born any day now I won’t ever get to meet and a grandson who will soon forget his Pop if he hasn’t already. So ask me now, was it all worth it?”
“Don’t beat yourself up about it Vic. It takes a good man to get a woman like you got, and even more special man to raise two daughters as great as yours. You must’ve done something right,” I told the man.
“Remember that when you’re breathing fresh air, kid. Remember when life gets hard there’s always another way, hang onto your woman and let her show you the way. And if you’re lucky you’ll have a couple kids…,” he smiled, fighting back another coughing fit. “And they’ll be girls. You’ll look at them and wonder how you ever pulled a trigger or dug a hole.”
The coughing won, and it took a few minutes for him regain his composure.
“Do you need a glass of water or something?”
“Water won’t cure what I have,” he muttered.
“Are you sick?”
He took a seat on the bottom bunk and glanced up at me.
“I’ve been diagnosed with lung cancer, not sure what stage yet, but I’m guessing it’s pretty far off,” he took a deep breath. “It is what it is,” he brushed an invisible piece of lint from his jumpsuit.
“Christ, I’m sorry Vic,” I muttered, running my fingers through my hair. “Does your family know?”
“No, no point in telling them,” he answered. “My girls are finally happy, genuinely happy and they’re safe. They miss their dad but they’re moving on with life, as they should. Adrianna is about to give birth and is finally living her happily ever after with Anthony. And my Nikki, well, Michael paid me a visit and told me he was going to ask her to marry him. He’s a good kid, Val would be proud. Then there’s my Gracie, and I won’t tell her because she’s still hanging onto the years when we were young.”
He lifted his pillow, removed the pillow case and pulled a razor blade out.
“When it’s your time, it’s your time,” he said kneeled down on the floor and sharpened the edge of the razor against the concrete.
“What are you doing with that?” I whispered.
He lifted his eyes to mine and smiled widely.
“It’s Jimmy’s time,” he revealed.
“He’s here?”
“It seems like just yesterday you and Jack paid me a visit and we first concocted this plan,” he smiled nostalgically. “I always liked playing God, now I get to play it with that no good prick’s life.”
He viciously scratched the razor against the cement, obviously angered just thinking about Jimmy Gold.
I got his pain.
That motherfucker ruined my life too.
The only difference is I have one to get back to and Vic didn’t. I felt sorry for him and I knew if I told him that I’d kill what was left of his soul. He didn’t want anyone’s pity.
“They’ll be coming to bring me to the chapel. Do me a favor?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Continue to sharpen this when I’m gone, but make sure you put the sheet up. You don’t have to worry about the guards but the scum we’re locked up with, they’re all rat bastards,” he said, taking my hand and opening my palm before dropping the blade into it and closing it.
“Nice and sharp, like the tip of a needle,” he instructed.
I glanced down at the weapon in the palm of my hand as Vic walked behind me and untied the sheet from the bars. I shoved the razor under my mattress and watched as Vic grabbed his bible. Two minutes later a correction officer took him to church.
Two minutes later I was devising a plan of my own.
Chapter Thirty-nine
Nice and sharp, like the tip of a needle.
His words repeated over and over inside my head as I mimicked the way he tied the sheet over the bars. I grabbed the blade from under the mattress and took a seat on the cold floor, letting the razor slide between my fingers.
So smooth.
I pictured Jimmy’s face as he sat across from me that day he showed up at the Dog Pound, provoking me to resurrect the devil I tried so hard to bury.
Victor tells me you’re familiar with the business, that, you used to be one of the biggest players in the game.
Even the mighty players fall.
Just look at Vic.
But I didn’t just fall, Jimmy Gold knocked me off my horse and dragged me to hell.