‘No one died.’
He looked down at his feet, frowning. ‘When you went under the bridge, I couldn’t see you. I could see the train coming. I could see the workmen by the track.’ An assessing glance from under lowered brows. ‘They thought you were fucked. You know that, don’t you?’
‘So did I,’ I said lightly.
He went back to staring into the distance, unsmiling. ‘Yeah. Well, I only had that to go on. And there was nothing I could do.’
‘I was careful.’
‘No, you weren’t.’
‘I’m here. I lived to tell the tale.’
‘Because you were lucky. You’re not going to be lucky every time.’
‘Look, I’m not actively hoping to risk my life when I come to work, but if I have to, I will. That’s the job.’
A muscle tightened in his jaw. ‘When I was in the army, I watched people die in front of me. Friends of mine. It fucking killed me, Maeve. You don’t know what that’s like, and believe me, you don’t want to know.’
‘I know what it’s like to lose a colleague. You might remember that.’ I tilted my head to one side, considering him. ‘These pals of yours – was it your fault that they died? Because if not, I think I still win this one.’
‘It’s not a competition,’ Derwent snapped.
‘Then why are you pretending you know more about this than me?’
‘Because I’ve taken all the risks. I’ve done all the stupid shit to be brave, to prove myself, to make up for the fact that I was still alive and my mates weren’t. I’ve been just as fucked up as you are now.’
‘And now you’re completely normal.’
‘I could do without the sarcasm. I’m trying to help you.’ His nostrils flared. ‘If you were drowning you’d be throwing punches at the lifeguard.’
‘You’re not saving me from anything.’
‘No. This is something you have to do yourself.’
I said icily, ‘I’m coping fine.’
‘By being the best little detective sergeant you can possibly be.’ He looked down at me. ‘Do you know why I like working with you?’
I thought about making a smart remark but shook my head instead. I genuinely wanted to know.
‘You do the job with all your heart. You really care. But you need to let your head make your decisions, not your heart. Your heart is big, but it’s stupid as shit.’
I laughed because it was better than crying. He put his arms around me and hugged me. If I’d been shorter he would have rested his chin on my head, but he settled for leaning his head against mine.
‘I thought you were dead.’
‘I know.’ I tried to pull away but his grip tightened to the point of being actually painful.
‘You could apologise.’
‘It wasn’t deliberate.’
‘You scared the shit out of me.’
‘And myself. Please don’t tell my mum.’
‘I won’t if you promise not to do it again.’
I patted his back feebly. ‘I can’t breathe.’
‘If you do do it again, you’d better make sure you die. Because otherwise I’m going to kill you.’
‘Point taken.’ I had another go at freeing myself with the same result. ‘You know this is edging towards assault, don’t you?’
‘Yep.’
‘You still haven’t let go.’
‘That’s right.’ He released me eventually and walked off, back to the car. It was atrociously parked, at an angle with one wheel on the kerb.
‘You know “drive it like you stole it” isn’t supposed to apply to how you park. This looks like a classic decamp.’
‘I was in a hurry,’ he said. ‘And if you don’t like the way I drive, you can walk to the hospital.’
I hurried to catch up with him, hiding a smile. I was glad that he was being rude to me again. It was comforting.
It was normal.
27
At the hospital a Sri Lankan doctor with a heavy accent told us that we couldn’t speak to Bethany, that she had been in distress and he had sedated her.
‘When can we speak to her?’ I asked.
‘Not today. Maybe tomorrow.’ He beamed at me as if it was good news.
‘We really need to talk to her as soon as possible.’
‘Tomorrow. The next day.’ Another smile.
‘It’s just that it’s a murder investigation.’
‘Oh yes, I understand. But she’s my patient now. We do what’s best for her.’
If he had been my doctor I would have appreciated him standing between me and harm. As it was I had to resist the urge to kick something.
We were walking past the waiting room when Eleanor Norris leapt out at us like a wildcat.
‘What did you do to my daughter?’
‘DS Kerrigan saved her life,’ Derwent said before I could answer her.
‘She harassed her! She drove her to try to kill herself.’ Eleanor glared at me with mad eyes. ‘I’m making a formal complaint about your behaviour.’
‘Good luck with that.’
I stepped back, my heel pressing on Derwent’s toe hard enough that he’d get the message. You’re not helping. Oliver came out of the waiting room, his face thunderous. He put his arm around Eleanor’s shoulders.
‘Leave them, darling. Don’t waste your time on them.’
I ignored him. ‘Mrs Norris, I understand why you’re distressed.’
‘Distressed? What you said to her was wicked.’
‘If it helps, I don’t think that’s why she tried to harm herself.’ I had been thinking about what Bethany said, trying to remember the exact words. If only it had been in an interview so I could have a transcript, complete with every um and ah. ‘I told her it wasn’t her fault that Chloe died and that she shouldn’t blame herself. She said that wasn’t why she wanted to kill herself.’
‘Well, what then?’ Eleanor hugged herself, the stress rash beginning to break out on her neck and chest. ‘Did she say?’
I took a deep breath. ‘Is it possible that she and Chloe might have acted together to murder Kate Emery?’
‘What? No! Why would they?’ Oliver demanded.
‘If Kate wanted to keep them apart.’
Eleanor laughed harshly. ‘If that bothered them, they’d have killed Ollie, not Kate. She always encouraged them to spend time together. She drove them places, paid for outings, let Bethany spend every spare minute in her house …’
I thought Eleanor was telling the truth. There was something matter-of-fact in the way she said it. She was silent for a moment, thinking about it. Then she burst out with, ‘I wish I’d kept them apart. I should have listened to you, Ollie.’
He didn’t speak but his fingertips bleached white where he was pressing them into her shoulder.
‘Bethany said it was her idea for her to run away with Chloe. She said the idea was that they should stay away until it was all over. Do you know what she was talking about?’
Eleanor stared at us, her face blank.
‘The investigation.’ Oliver sounded certain. ‘They were both finding it a tremendous strain to have you bothering them. Asking questions. Arresting me and Bethany’s uncle, for God’s sake – you don’t have to think for very long about why they might have wanted a break from it all.’
‘But she didn’t say that to me on the phone. She didn’t say that they’d run away so we would leave them alone.’