“But first we need to stop the turbine,” Solana reminds him.
She explains their sabotage plan, and it’s actually a smart play. I hate myself for not thinking of it—and I hate myself even more for glaring at her tiny dress and shiny hair.
She’s risked her life to help us—that should be my only focus. But I can’t stand the way she keeps using the word “we” as she describes how she and Vane snuck into the fortress through a secret tunnel.
A bitter, unreasonable anger clouds my thoughts, devouring several seconds before I remember something actually important. “Wasn’t my mother with you? I heard Raiden say her name.”
The worry in my voice surprises me—as does the flood of relief when Vane says she’s still alive.
“Aston was worried they’d end up betraying us if they had to face Raiden,” he explains. “So they created a distraction to help us sneak in, and now they’re probably on their way back to his cave.”
“Aston helped you?” I ask.
Gus chooses the smarter question. “How do you know they’re not betraying us right now?”
“I don’t,” Vane admits. “But . . . sometimes you have to trust people.”
The brief look he and Solana share turns my insides to needles.
I try to listen as they hash out ideas for how to sabotage the turbine, but it’s hard to focus when I’m standing this close to Vane.
Every twitch, every blink, every stolen glance he gives me. I can’t help studying them, searching for answers—and I don’t even know the questions.
The words won’t take shape in my mind. Only the feelings.
So many feelings.
Too many feelings.
“We’re not doing it your way!” Vane snaps, dragging me back to attention.
“What’s her way?” Gus asks.
“It’s . . . also a long story,” Vane says. “Add it to the list of things we need to talk about if we get out of here.”
“Oh, we’re getting out of here,” Gus says. “Lend me that Westerly of yours—and any other winds you have—and I’ll tear this thing apart.”
“Westerly?” Vane and Solana ask.
Gus nods.
Vane’s lips twitch with questions, but he manages to shake them off. He sends Gus his Westerly along with a Southerly, and I watch his eyes widen as Gus absorbs them and heads for the turbine.
Even with the extra burst of strength, the pull of the motor nearly sucks Gus in. Solana darts to his side—annoyingly surefooted among the flurries—and grabs him by the waist, keeping him grounded.
“Do you need help?” Vane calls.
“Nah, we got this,” Gus tells him. “You guys have other things you need to take care of.”
Vane tenses at the words, and goes back to not looking at me.
What does that mean?
Seconds pass, each one making it harder to breathe.
Eventually Vane mutters something I can’t catch before he finally strides toward me.
Three steps and he’s at my side, his words bursting out in a frenzied breath. “I’m so sorry, Audra. Will you ever be able to forgive me?”
It’s not the question I was expecting—and I hate that he’s noticed my jacket, his eyes locked on the bloodstains crusting my shoulders and back.
I need to tell him this wasn’t his fault. Convince him I’m okay. Thank him for risking everything to come get me.
But the words won’t push past the lump in my throat.
How did I get this broken?
I didn’t think I was this broken.
“It’s okay,” Vane says, and the softness of his voice feels like clean, sweet air. “You don’t have to say anything.”
He starts to turn away, and a swell of panic brings back my voice.
“Vane, I . . .”
That’s all I have.
But it seems to be enough.
He reaches for my face, brushing away a tear I didn’t realize was there.
His soft fingers vanish just as quickly—his hands dropping firmly to his side—but the heat of his touch lingers under my skin.
Tiny sparks left from better days.
I close my eyes and soak them in.
“I know this isn’t the time or the place,” he says, his face close enough for me to feel his breath on my cheeks. “But there’s one thing I have to say.”
He stops there, and I realize he’s waiting for me to look at him.
When I do, his beautiful eyes burn with the most desperate sort of longing—no attempt to deny it or disguise it.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to prove that I still deserve you,” he tells me. “But only if that’s what you want. And I don’t need you to decide now. I just . . . needed you to know.”
Our eyes hold one second longer.
Then he turns and walks away.
CHAPTER 29
VANE
I want to race back to Audra, wrap my arms around her, and screw this whole slow-and-steady plan I came up with.
But the sadness I saw in her eyes keeps me moving away.
It reminds me too much of the first time we got together, and I know what it means. She needs to heal again before she’ll be ready for anything more—and not just emotionally this time.