“I do, too, Papi,” I told him.
I hurry up the steps, clutching Lynnie close against me even as she tugs on my hair. “Pooh-po,” she says, or something like it, pointing to her cheeks. My guess is purple must be her favorite color. Nice to know Mattie took that into consideration before he went to town on her face. My instinct is to text Evie to see if she has any baby oil. But seeing how I don’t think anyone but Latinos from the 70’s use that anymore, I don’t bother. I don’t want her worried, and I want her to have a good time. If this is the kind of trouble her kids get into on a daily basis, she’s in serious trouble when the next baby comes.
I start to fill the tub. Lynnie is such a wiggle worm, I put her down thinking she’ll be fine for just a second. Ha, ha. Silly me. In the time I take to adjust the water, she strips out of her clothes in a way that would shame Magic Mike and rips off her diaper.
“Lynnie,” I begin, jumping when she proceeds to pee on the bath mat―two freaking inches away from the tile floor!
“Oh, crap,” I squeak, lifting her at arms lengths as I set her down in the tub. I don’t know what kind of bladder this kid has, but it tops mine and finishes emptying the moment her little butt hits the water. “Seriously?” I ask her.
And because her tiny self hasn’t made enough of a mess, she starts splashing like me and the bathroom are on fire.
I wipe the floor with her abandoned clothes, certain I received the shit end of the kid stick when I hear Finn yell, “Mattie, no―no!” followed with loads of giggling on Mattie’s part and a few swears from Finn.
I almost ask if he’s okay, but I’m too busy trying to soap Lynnie’s cheeks. I drop my hands down as she continues to splash me. I don’t know what the hell they put in markers, but whatever it is I can’t get it off her.
After a few more passes and a lot more water on the floor, I lift her sudsy body from the tub and simply gape at the cat whiskers Mattie drew across her cheeks.
“You’re father’s going to kill me,” I tell her. “You’re mama, too.” I think about it. “But if your Aunt Lety was here instead of England, she’d mostly laugh and point.”
She squeals, giggling and kicking out her feet. “Well, I’m glad one of us thinks it’s funny,” I tell her, cuddling her close with the towel.
I put a diaper on her, hoping she’ll keep it on while I find her pajamas. The problem is every stupid pair I find is either pink or purple, both of which draw even more attention to her whiskers. I finally give up and shove her in one that matches her cheeks then carry her downstairs.
Only to scream when I see what Finn’s feeding Mattie.
He jumps, dropping the peanut butter crackers he and Mattie are sharing. “What?” he asks between chews. “You told me to feed him.”
I point rapidly, stumbling over my words. “He’s allergic. He’s allergic to peanuts!”
Finn’s head whips back at him. “Shit. Are you sure?”
“Yes!” I yell, placing Lynnie on the floor and reach for the landline.
Finn snags the bowl of crackers away from Mattie, and the box perched beside him. “Is he going to die?” he asks, his head jerking from me to him.
“I don’t know.” I’m trying to punch Teo’s number, but my hands are shaking so bad I keep hitting the wrong number.
“You don’t know?” Finn hollers. “What do you mean you don’t know? Holy fuck,” he says rushing back to Mattie.
He scoops Mattie out of his booster chair and runs him to the sink. “Mattie, spit it out. Spit it out now―ouch. Shit, he bit me!”
I’m barely listening, swearing up a storm when Teo’s number goes to voicemail. “Teo. Call me. Call me now.”
Finn’s at the sink trying to rinse out Mattie’s mouth, but mostly smearing the peanut butter all over his face. “Call 9-1-1,” he says.
“Omigod―did he stop breathing?”
“No, he’s laughing―fuck―and biting. But this is serious. Ow―shit. Ow―Mattie, cut it out!”
I drop the phone in my hand when it rings. “God damn it!” I yell as I answer.
“Problem?” Teo’s deep voice rumbles on the other line.
I take a breath, despite that my heart is ready to explode and I’m officially hyperventilating. “Finn gave Mattie peanut butter,” I stammer, throwing open the medicine drawer and frantically searching for an epi pen.
“You told me to feed him,” Finn fires back.
“I didn’t know there would be peanut butter in the house!” I scream.
“Sol, calm down,” Teo says. “I can barely understand you. What happened?”
“What happened?” Evie repeats, from the background.
Her voice is panicked. She knows something’s wrong. I let out a breath, knowing I have to fix this and save her son. “Mattie ate peanut butter,” I repeat, my voice shaking like I’m gargling marbles.
“Yeah . . . he loves that shit,” Teo says. “Then what happened?”
I freeze. “He’s not allergic?”
“No.”