“Stop it,” I told her, forcing myself to stand my ground. “This is crazy. We can’t fight each other.”
Dragon me stopped, but didn’t look convinced. “We’ve been fighting each other for a long time, didn’t you know that?” she hissed. When I gave her a puzzled look, she actually sneered. “Don’t act dumb. You know what I’m talking about. Ever since you met that boy, that human, all you’ve been doing is fighting me. We’re not human, and he won’t be around forever. Cobalt is your life-mate, our Sallith’tahn. Why do you keep denying who we are?”
“I love Garret,” I told her firmly, realizing what this was about. “And I don’t want my choices to be defined by instinct. You keep pushing me at Cobalt, but it’s not going to change what I feel for Garret. I can’t choose who I love, anymore than I can choose the Sallith’tahn.” She watched me with blank dragon eyes, and I gave a bitter smile. “But I don’t know why I’m telling you this—love is a human thing. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”
Dragon me snorted again, sounding indignant. “What the hell gave you that idea?” she demanded.
*
The girl glanced at me sharply, a look of confusion crossing her face. “What are you talking about?”
With a gusty sigh, I sat down, folding my wings to my back as the flames within flickered and died. I supposed it was time to stop denying it. “Cobalt is our Sallith’tahn,” I told her simply. “I don’t have to do any pushing. You feel the pull toward him just as much as I do.” I paused, waiting for her to deny it, knowing she wouldn’t. She couldn’t. “So why do you think I feel any different toward the human?”
She stared at me, an expression of shock crossing her face as she realized. “You love Garret, too,” she finally whispered.
I didn’t answer, feeling the truth burn its way into my heart as surely as the hottest flame. Yes, I did. I loved the soldier, the dragonslayer, the human, with a fierceness I’d never experienced before. Emotion wasn’t just for my other half, I could admit that now. But still, it was Cobalt who called to me, who brought the flames within to life, who made me feel like a dragon. Who understood flying and hoarding and breathing fire, things that only a dragon got. Without him, I sometimes felt that I—this side of me, anyway—would shrivel up and disappear, leaving only the human half behind.
After a long silence that throbbed like a heartbeat through the empty void, human Ember threw up her hands. “So...why are we fighting each other?” she asked despairingly. “If we both feel the same, why is this happening?”
I closed my eyes, feeling we were both rushing toward a final, inevitable conclusion. “I think,” I said slowly, “you just answered your own question.”
*
I drew in a breath as the dragon’s words sank in. “We...keep fighting each other,” I said, and the familiar green eyes opened to stare at me. “That’s why we’re split like this, why I feel like I’m two separate creatures sometimes. But we’re not. We’re not dragon and human. We’re the same. Two sides of the same coin. We’ve just been struggling against the other for so long, trying to resist our instincts, because we didn’t understand.”
Dragon me curled her tail around her legs, her voice full of weary resignation. “So, what do we do now?”
“I think we have to stop fighting each other.”
She cocked her head in a surreally familiar way. “That sounds a little too easy.”
“I don’t think so.” I looked at her, really looked at her, seeing—for the first time—myself. Not my dragon side, not my baser instincts, but me. And I realized what I—we—had to do.
I smiled sadly, wishing I could have figured this out a lot sooner. “Riley is our Sallith’tahn,” I murmured, nodding. “That’s just how it is, and I have to accept that.” The dragon was watching intently, green gaze solemn in the darkness. “But instinct doesn’t have to define me,” I whispered firmly. “It doesn’t have to control my life. I don’t have to suppress it, or try to fight it. It’s not a choice between what I want to be more, dragon or human.” I closed my eyes, feeling something inside me unravel, a knot coiling free. “I’m a dragon,” I said firmly. “That’s all. Not a dragon that can love, or a dragon that has to fight to be more human. I’m both...and neither. I’m just me.”
*
Just me.
I opened my eyes.
His face swam above me, metallic-gray eyes bright with fear and anguish as they came into focus. I felt his arm around my shoulders, and one calloused hand pressed to my cheek, trembling slightly. I felt him freeze as I opened my eyes, heard the ragged intake of breath as our gazes met.
“Ember.” He blew out a shaky breath and pulled me to him, pressing his forehead to mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling the strength of his arms holding me close, one hand tangled in my hair. “Are you all right?” he whispered.
“I...” My head felt strange, like it was stuffed with cotton and floating several inches above my neck. I couldn’t remember how I got here; it felt like there were dark blotches on my brain, smudging out the memories. “I don’t know,” I admitted, looking up at Garret. “What happened?”
“Save it for another time.” A cool, impatient voice interrupted us. “We have to leave this place, now. Before the Elder Wyrm realizes what is happening.”
Garret and I drew back, and my eyes widened at the girl on the other side of the room. “Mist?” I exclaimed as the dragonell gave me an exasperated look. “What are you doing here?”
“It’s all right, Firebrand.” Against the far wall, Riley smiled at me, looking relieved, as well. Though he held a gun pointed at the face of an angry-looking scientist. “She’s on our side, at least for now.” He gave her a look of begrudging respect. “I don’t know what her real motivation is, but she got us here. We wouldn’t have made it this far without her help.”
“Can we please save the speculation for later?” Mist snapped. “We still have to make it to the ground floor and get off the premises. And this little side trip has significantly delayed the escape plan.” She glanced at the scientists, her face darkening. “We should kill them, to make sure they don’t sound the alarm when we leave.”
“No.” Quickly, I slid off the gurney and leaned on Garret as my legs shook and the room swayed. His arms wrapped around my waist, holding me steady. I could feel his heartbeat through his shirt, feel the warmth pulsing from his skin as I looked at Mist. “No killing,” I told her. “Not in cold blood. Find another way.”