Last Wish (Highland Magic #4)

Bob began to applaud. ‘Yes! You go, girl!’

Before I could say anything, Tipsania moved up until she was inches from my face. ‘Do you know what he said to me? He said that if I didn’t marry Byron, he would drag me to the altar himself and marry me. He would marry me! The nerve of the man!’ I opened my mouth but she still wasn’t finished. ‘As if I would tie myself to someone like him! And look!’ She grabbed my head and forced it down. ‘Look at what I’m wearing! It’s a monstrosity. Bows!’ she spat. ‘Nobody wears bows! I look like Cinderella. I’m not some servant playing dress up!’

Candy held up his hand like a wary school kid. ‘I think you look pretty.’

She paused for a moment. ‘You always think that! That’s not the point! My wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of my life. Now it’s ruined!’

I was confused. ‘You wanted to get married?’

‘You don’t understand anything!’

‘Tipsania,’ I said reasonably, ‘Aifric can’t touch you now. We’re well away from him. You don’t have to worry.’

She scowled at me ferociously. ‘There’s only one thing that will stop me worrying.’ She stomped over to Candy. He looked rather frightened and I wasn’t surprised. ‘I want you to know,’ she said, ‘that I am not doing this just to take myself off the market and stop Aifric from forcing me into marriage with him or Byron or anyone else who comes along. I’m doing this because I love you. Got that?’ The words flew out of her at a tremendous pace. She swallowed, smoothed her billowing dress down and forced herself to relax. Then she got down on one knee. ‘Candy Carmichael. Will you marry me? If you don’t say yes, I will cut off your bloody—’

‘Yes.’

She blinked. ‘Pardon?’

‘Yes. I will marry you.’

‘Well, that’s alright then. I don’t want this horrific excuse for a wedding dress to go to waste.’ She clambered awkwardly to her feet and began kissing Candy. There was a lot of tongue action. Trying not to look at the way she was attacking his mouth, I coughed. ‘Congratulations. But, er, we don’t have a minister on board. You can’t get married.’

Tipsania broke away and gazed at me scornfully. ‘Idiot. How long do you think I’ve been planning my own wedding?’ Apparently it was a rhetorical question because I wasn’t given chance to reply. ‘Since I was six years old! A ship’s captain can marry someone.’

‘She’s right,’ Angus said, butting in with a cheesy grin. Byron flashed him a glare but he didn’t seem to notice.

‘Who’s the captain?’ I asked. ‘It’s not me. I don’t know anything about boats.’

Fergus pointed at Brochan. ‘He’s a merman. He should be captain.’

‘Piss off.’

I thought about it. ‘Sorley is the one who commandeered this ferry. Him and all the trolls. I guess that makes him captain.’

Tipsania paused for a moment. ‘I’m to be married by a troll?’

I shrugged.

‘Whatever. Let’s get on with it.’

Candy beamed at her. ‘I can’t wait.’

‘I love you,’ she breathed. They began kissing again.

‘True love,’ I muttered. ‘Oh well. I guess we’re going to a wedding after all.’

***

The trolls worked quickly. They cleared out the canteen area and arranged themselves and us in formation. Someone managed to rustle up some cans of Irn Bru for a post-ceremony toast although we had to share them. I reckoned I got a thimbleful.

‘This is the strangest wedding I’ve ever been to,’ I said quietly to Byron as Sorley straightened the tie he’d borrowed from Taylor and mumbled to himself as he tried to remember his lines. The Foinse zipped overhead with one of Tipsania’s lacy bows perched on top of it. Byron didn’t answer. I turned to him and realised he was watching me closely. ‘What?’

‘Nothing,’ he said. He licked his lips. ‘Do you like weddings?’

‘I like emotional weddings. The kind where even the cake is in tiers.’

‘Ha,’ he murmured. He put his arm round my waist and drew me close. I told myself sternly not to snuggle but it was a close-run thing.

Candy, looking rather nervous, took his spot. Then, while Bob produced a baby grand piano and began to tinkle out the wedding march, Tipsania made her grand entrance. The trolls acted suitably impressed, oohing and aahing at her dress. I decided now probably wasn’t the time to tell her that she had a trail of seaweed knotted into some of the ribbons at the back.

‘Dearly beloved,’ Sorley shouted, causing half of the makeshift congregation to wince, ‘we are gathered here today to witness the binding together in matrimony of this man and this woman.’ From his ragged pocket, he produced a length of fabric. He wound it first around Tipsania’s wrist then around Candy’s, joining them together. As he continued, I stared at it.

‘Join together,’ I whispered. ‘Of course.’ I could have slapped myself for not thinking of it earlier. My ancestors at the Cruaich grove had given me the answer to all our problems and I’d been too stupid to see it.

Byron gave me a strange look. I grinned and leaned my head on his shoulder. The last few days had been amongst the worst in my life. Morna’s face flashed into my mind; maybe it was just as well that we were all being kept busy, otherwise I’d have had to lock myself away in a dark room to deal with her loss. Aifric had so much to answer for. He would come after us again and next time he wouldn’t waste time on fake trials, he’d move straight to the main event. I wasn’t going to kill him though; I was better than that.

Candy and Tipsania leaned towards each other as they said their vows. I spotted Taylor wiping away a surreptitious tear, together with dozens of the supposedly hardened trolls who were watching. Tipsania looked radiant, all tantrums forgotten. And all of a sudden, there was a glimmer of real hope.





Chapter Sixteen