And yet, for the first time in the last two months, I didn’t have to be so alone. My parents needed to be prepared for what was to come in case I failed. I had no doubt the first people the king would seek out were my family.
It was much later into the evening, as wax dripped from candles long forgotten, that I finished telling my parents everything that had changed. It was much different than my visit before. Their hearts had already been hardened to loss, their youngest was dead, and their second son had joined a rebel cause. Hearing that their only daughter intended to betray the Crown, that she intended to break up the New Alliance and help the rebels all the while under the Black Mage’s nose? I suppose they had come to expect that the gods were not in our family’s favor.
“Oh, Ryiah.” My mom’s hand shot out to grasp my own. “You don’t have to be the one to do this.”
My response was devoid of feeling. “Don’t I?”
She looked away, biting her lip. My father said nothing.
They knew it even if they didn’t want to admit it. I was the only one, and wishing that I wasn’t the girl stuck with this destiny wouldn’t change a thing.
“We will do exactly as you say.” My father had finally spoken. “We’ll have one of the apprentices keep an eye on the roads and keep a bag of necessities hidden away. The moment we hear of anything unusual, we’ll leave.”
“Where will you go?”
My mother cleared her throat. “South. I have a cousin who lives just outside of Port Ishir. We’ll tell her we’re looking to start up a second apothecary closer to sea and give a change of names. You and Alex have certainly given us enough coin to open a second shop, and the girls can run our first in Demsh’aa. No one will be the wiser.”
A bit of relief worked itself into my chest. Their plan could work.
“You need to be careful, Ryiah.” My father pushed a lock of hair to the side of my face. “This Blayne…” His eyes darkened as his fist curled in his lap. “He isn’t the type to overlook things. If you make even one mistake—”
“I won’t.” My shoulders tensed. “You and Mom won’t lose another child.”
“And your husband?” My mother’s gaze locked on my own. She knew how much he meant; she could see it in my eyes. She was afraid of the thing I would lose. She was afraid for me.
I thought of what the Pythian ambassador said on the night we met: “You’ve found yourself a happily ever after in a time when there are none.” If only I had realized the truth before. “Justice has a price.” I looked my mother in the eyes. “He is mine.”
*
We arrived at our destination a week later. Frost coated the grass, making a crunching noise as our party approached the base of the great keep fortress. It was as towering as it was dark, a menacing stone beacon like the mountain itself, built directly into a portion of the Iron Range. Hidden away behind it was a small town accessible only by passage within; it housed the country’s most talented blacksmiths that supplied the king’s regiment.
Ian’s parents were two of them.
I now wondered how many weapons they had hidden away amongst their own, unnoticed, while fulfilling the Crown’s orders for steel. I wondered how long their son had known about his parents’ cause, and my view of the apprenticeship took on a whole new light.
All those times Ian had tried to strike up a friendship with the unfriendly Darren, perhaps it hadn’t been quite so innocent as I thought. Would he have been quite so enthusiastic to spend time alongside me if I hadn’t been the girl who caught the prince’s eye? Everyone had seen the way Darren talked to the lowborn girl, shunning the rest of our year.
My stomach churned. Gods, every one of us was tainted. All of us shades of gray. This world of innocence was a lie.
Our group declared itself at the base of a raised walkway. The sentries spent a moment checking our seals before they recognized their guests. We were waved forward, and the first of two iron gates raised. By the time we passed our second set of sentries, a hostler was ready for our steeds while the twenty-two of us disembarked and stood, rubbing our arms underneath layers of wool. The keep’s entry with its stone tunnels was even colder than the outside.
We were told to wait.
Commander Nyx arrived ten minutes later, the air of surprise touching her mouth, but a sharp distrust lingered in her steel eyes. Her gaze locked on me, and I wondered how much Alex had told her since arriving several weeks before. Did she suspect I was here to turn over the rebels to my husband?
I kept my eyes level, willing the commander to silence until I had a chance to explain. The woman had to know the keep could easily overtake our party if we were here to arrest. Darren and I might have more power than most, but the keep was comprised of two thousand members, and they had the backing of several northern townships that kept the rebels’ cause.