‘Of course I do.’ Lately it felt as if she could think of nothing else.
‘Mr Pike does not act alone. If such a dire order were issued, it would be ratified by the highest sources in the land.’
Helen swallowed; her mouth felt parched. ‘Is it going to be issued, Mr Stokes?’
‘We must pray to God that Lord Carlston can hold his own against the darkness.’
Hardly a resounding denial. Helen paced across the hearthstone.
‘I spent my youth in the Army,’ Stokes added. ‘I have seen what happens on the battlefield when orders are disobeyed, or those above break under pressure. Campaigns can hinge on the delivery of a message or the removal of one person. We in the middle of the battle cannot see the whole, Lady Helen. We must trust those who can.’
‘And you think Mr Pike can see the whole?’
‘He may only have been Sir Dennis Calloway’s Terrene, and a butcher’s son at that, but he has the kind of devious mind required for the intrigues of our world.’
‘I do not know how you can say that. He does not even believe that a Grand Deceiver is in England.’
Stokes sat forward. ‘Do you truly think you are here to battle a Grand Deceiver?’
Helen paused, taken aback by the sudden shift of subject to herself. ‘Yes. I do. The evidence points to it.’ She counted off on her fingers. ‘I am a direct inheritor. I have seen Deceivers working together. Two of them have actually told me that a Grand Deceiver is amongst us and that he is coming for me. I know deception is their nature, but I believe it.’
Stokes sat forward. ‘I believe it too, Lady Helen.’
‘You do?’ She smiled, the sudden rush of relief making her sway upon her feet. ‘I was beginning to think that we have no allies in the Dark Days Club. That it is totally corrupt.’
‘Corrupt?’ Stokes seemed genuinely startled. ‘In what way?’
‘The things that people are doing …’ She circled her hand, trying to find the right words. ‘There does not seem to be any morality.’
His mouth quirked; not in amusement, Helen decided, but a kind of sad sympathy. ‘My dear girl, here is a truth that every soldier must understand: an army at war has its own morality, made of necessity. This tiny army of ours must do whatever is in its power to protect England. I suggest you come to peace with that as soon as you can.’
He regarded her gravely, patently expecting a response. Yet how was she to come to terms with an idea that opposed everything she had been taught throughout her life? Surely there was only one morality in the world?
Stokes broke the awkward silence. ‘Let me reassure you that you do have allies, although we are not great in number. All of the Reclaimers believe a Grand Deceiver is approaching. We who walk in that world amongst the Deceivers cannot deny these new signs that herald such a creature. It is true Mr Pike is yet to be convinced — he is a cautious man — but he will soon come to the same conclusion. Amongst the Reclaimers, it is only myself and Jacob Hallifax who agree with Lord Carlston’s assessment of your role. The other Reclaimers cannot believe, or will not believe, that you are the warrior sent to destroy a Grand Deceiver. For them it is impossible to imagine that a young woman nobly born and barely beyond the schoolroom could defeat such a foe.’
Helen crossed her arms. ‘How, then, do they explain the fact that I am a direct inheritor?’
‘They have decided that you are here to take the vestige darkness from a true warrior in order to save him for the battle. In their minds, Lord Carlston is that warrior. He is the highest-ranked amongst us and the most experienced; the best chance to lead us to victory.’
Helen stared at him. ‘They want me to take his darkness into my soul?’ She lifted her chin. ‘Why do they not offer to take his lordship’s darkness upon themselves? Why do they not volunteer to encase their essence in a black abyss, to lose all compassion and tenderness, to hasten their own descent into madness?’
‘Because it is a woman’s place to make such a sacrifice,’ he said dryly. ‘Your mother took Benchley’s darkness and it gave him ten more years of sanity. Why not the daughter?’
‘She did not take it willingly,’ Helen said, her voice rising. ‘He forced his darkness upon her without her knowledge.’
‘I know,’ Stokes said, a flash of his raised palms acknowledging the injustice. ‘Yet all they see is that Benchley proved it could be done. That it could save Lord Carlston.’
‘He would not want such a cure. He would never accept it.’
‘You are quite right. Lord Carlston, in his right mind, would never seek such a cure. However, the prospect of homicidal insanity could make even the most staunch man waver in his beliefs.’ He rubbed the back of his head wearily, ruffling the blond curls. ‘All Reclaimers suffer, to some degree, from the vestige darkness. I have it lodged in me, bringing its torments. You will have it soon enough once you start fighting and reclaiming. Even if we stop reclaiming before madness sets in, there is still a weight always upon the soul. It is part of the payment for such gifts.’
‘How do you keep fighting with the knowledge that you are harming your soul?’
He smiled. ‘I have never thought it good enough to lead just a blameless life, Lady Helen. It has always been important to me to have a purpose beyond my own small concerns. You and I, and the other Reclaimers, have been given the tools for great purpose. In my experience, life is always a question of courage. Which way do we run when we see danger: away from it, or towards it?’
‘It depends on what the danger is,’ Helen said.
‘No. It depends on what is at stake. And for us, it is the highest stake of all. The safety of mankind.’ He rose from his chair. ‘You have allies in the Dark Days Club, Lady Helen. People who believe in your great purpose. I am one of them. If you should ever need me, I am lodging at 12 Church Street, just beyond the Brooks Chapel.’
‘Thank you,’ Helen said, surprised to find that her voice cracked upon the words.
He bowed. ‘I bid you good day, Lady Helen.’ He walked to the door and opened it, then turned back. ‘Lord Carlston told me that you have courage in abundance. I see now that he is right.’
The door closed behind him.
Helen steadied herself with a hand upon the mantel. She had an ally, albeit one who believed rather too uncritically in the Dark Days Club and Mr Pike. She clenched her fist. How dare those other Reclaimers think she was useful only as a dump for Lord Carlston’s vestige darkness. She was much more than that; she was a direct inheritor! At least Mr Stokes and Mr Hallifax did not subscribe to the idea.
Helen rubbed her forehead. The whole business was a labyrinth, and she could only see one thing clearly: the Ligatus journal. It held the way to Lord Carlston’s cure, her own safety, and the protection of England. She could no longer wait for Lowry to appear. She must act.
Chapter Eighteen