“That’s love, Alex. That’s the love I have for you. Replace the anger and fear and just think about the person you’re trying to heal. You’re an encantrix. You can channel all the gifts from the Deos. They’re right at your fingertips. You have to stop being afraid of yourself.”
“What if I can’t do that? What if I just keep being afraid?”
“I’m scared too. You don’t know what it’s like here. We’re trapped, and there’s nowhere to go. It takes so much energy to project myself to you, but you need to know we’re counting on you. We know you’re going to do everything you can to come get us. You don’t know how strong you are.”
I press my hand on Jesla’s chest. Her pulse is a whisper. I can fill myself with love, right? People do it all the time. Mom and Lula do, so why is it so hard for me? When I close my eyes, I see the maloscuros. I see the bloody parakeet in my hands. I see everyone I love lying in a heap, just dead bodies.
“Sh,” Lula whispers in my ear. “Don’t do that. Remember the times Dad took us to Coney?”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to think about Dad.”
“Well you have to, okay? Because we loved him once, and he loved us too. Remember, Alex. He’d take us every Sunday night to the boardwalk. We’d fill up on corn dogs and popcorn until we were too full to walk and we’d just lay there on the beach watching the sun set.”
“I remember.” Sometimes it’s hard to find the good memories.
“It’s love, Alex. Love is you jumping through a portal despite your own safety. Love is Mom singing in the car and Rose making tea when we’re sick and even us fighting because we’re blood, and no matter what you do, I’ll never forget that you are my sister.”
I let the magic uncoil from the pit of my stomach and flow through me. It’s different than the other times. Brighter and stronger. It leaves me in a flood, connecting to Jesla. Her eyes snap open, and she gasps for air. Her back arcs, like there’s something inside her fighting against my magic. I move my hand over the claw marks from the saberskins. They’ve been cleaned, but they’re still bleeding. I focus on the brilliant light that links me to the aviana, my magic embracing her, calling her back from the darkness. When I feel her heartbeat kick up to a normal rate, I let go.
“Easy,” Lula says. “The recoil is going to kick in soon. Move on to the next. You can do it.”
My mind spins. I try to grab Lula’s hand, but I forget she’s only a projection of herself.
“Don’t go there,” she tells me. “Not yet.”
There are white spots in my vision as I stumble to Hadrigal. Her black wings hang over the sides of the stone slab. Her eyes roll to the back of her head. I can feel her fading quickly, so I press my hands over her heart and send a shock right into its center. I can hear Lula cheering me on, telling me it’s working. I can feel my healing energy flooding Hadrigal, returning the color to her cheeks, mending the cuts over her chest until she has the same pearly scars I do.
I fall on my knees, my head spinning like a carousel.
“Come on, Alex,” Lula says. “One more. You’re a natural, don’t you see? Way better than I ever could be.”
I choke on a laugh. “Am I dying or something? You’re being really nice.”
“I can’t hold on, Ale. Hurry.”
“Lula?” It’s hard to breath. She looks over her shoulder, her apparition getting weaker.
“Oh no… It’s coming back.”
“Is it the Devourer? I’m going to kill it.”
Lula erupts in an earsplitting scream.
“Lula!” I reach for her but I grab air.
She’s gone.
I crawl on my knees to the next table. I lower my ear to the aviana’s open beak. The breath is as faint as mine, but I have to find a way. I repeat Lula’s words. That’s the love I have for you.
Love is Lula. Love is my mom. Love is Rose. Love is in this power that I never asked for but courses through my veins like the blood of my ancestors.
When I hear the sharp intake of the aviana, I let go. All three of them are awake.
I fall on my face. I’m not ready for the recoil, but I brace myself. I shut my eyes and think of my family.
“I wish you could see me now.”
20
All roads lead to the labyrinth.
—from the journal of Rosaria Vargas
When I wake, I feel like I’ve slept for a hundred years. Rishi sleeps in the fetal position atop a pile of leaves, and Nova sits beside me. We’re back in the nest.
“It’s funny,” I tell Nova, “having to remind myself that this isn’t a dream.”
He nods but doesn’t look at me. He leans his head back against the cool wall, watching the avianas in their bird form, flying around the statue of El Cielo.
“You could have died,” he says.
“You told me an encantrix can do anything.”
He looks off to the side, avoiding my eyes. “Experienced ones. Not ones who barely know how to control their power.”
“I had to do something to save your skin. A simple thank-you would be nice.” I sit up and stretch the stiffness out of my body. I’m covered in tender bruises, but it was worth it to know that my family is safe. For now. “Madra’s going to help us with the map. Let’s get our things and keep going.”
I stand to walk past him, but he takes my hand in his. He stands, towering over me. He brushes my tangled hair back and cups my face. His eyes are greener in this firelight.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
I shake my head. “Why’d you do it, Nova?”
He starts to smile. I bet he can’t help it. I bet his smile gets him out of and into all sorts of trouble.
“You and me?” he says. “We come from different worlds. I have nothing to my name.”
“What about your grandma?”
He shrugs dismissively. “I’m just another mouth to feed.”
“That can’t be true.”
His hands slide down from my cheeks to my neck. I wonder if he can feel my heart racing.
“Not everyone’s got a family they’d die for,” he says. “If I thought it’d get you in trouble, I would’ve thought twice about stealing. Okay?”
“I can’t get all righteous on you,” I say, “though I’d just like to point out that you’re the one who told me not to touch anything.”
Eye roll. “We cool?”
Rishi clears her throat. She’s leaning on the wall opposite us. How long has she been standing there without me noticing?
“Let’s get this donkey show on the road,” she says.
“I think you mean dog and pony show,” Nova says.
Rishi looks him up and down. I guess they’ve stopped yelling at each other, but that doesn’t mean they’ve called a truce. “Since you’re here, I’m pretty sure I mean donkey.”
? ? ?
We say good-bye to the avianas, leaving them two-thirds of our food supplies. Madra walks us to a tunnel that leads out of the caves. It smells dank and is lit by torches.
“I do not think it is wise to journey to the labyrinth,” Madra tells me. “But I honor your loyalty to your family, Alejandra Mortiz. I will take a look at your map.”
I unfold the map for her to see. Her hawk eyes follow the ink rendering of Los Lagos.