Kiss My Boots (Coming Home #2)

I can see how hard he’s working to keep himself in check. His whole body is coiled in an unnaturally tight way that tells me he’s about to lose the hold he has on his control.

“And I need you to make those arrangements and then let me go do this without you,” I add in a strong voice.

His head drops and I can’t see his expression. I shoot my gaze over to Clay, and his impassive face tells me nothing. We stand like this for what feels like forever while Maverick works through what I just told him. I keep looking between Clay and the top of Mav’s cowboy hat, my heart in my throat.

I’m about to start panicking that I hurt my brother by asking him to let me do this alone, and then Clay clears his throat.

“Look at me, brother,” he tells Maverick, his voice hard but full of respect as he keeps his eyes on me when he says it. When Maverick lifts his head and looks at Clay, only then does Clay look away from me and focus completely on Mav. “You spent a long time keepin’ this to yourself, thinkin’ you had to in order to keep us from feelin’ that pain. You did the right thing by not holdin’ that in, no matter how much knowin’ why Mama left us stung, but you also gave both of us a chance to move on and heal with that truth. You knew this day would come, but I need you to fight against what’s inside you tellin’ you to protect Quinn. She’s got a damn good man who’s doin’ that for us now. We’ll always be there just in case, but you gotta let her do this. Don’t deny her knowin’ she’s gotta let go of that hurt in order to move on and find what you got with Leigh.”

I can’t hold in my emotions now. I know I’m seconds away from breaking out into an ugly cry.

“Fuck!” Maverick bellows, making me jump. A sob escapes my throat, and I hate it for betraying what his silence is making me feel. His eyes shift to me, focusing with a steely force that makes me rock from side to side while I wait under his probing gaze. “You really don’t want us there?” he finally asks, and I feel the meaning behind his question right in my heart.

His hushed, defeated tone spurs me into motion, and I breach the distance between us instantly, walking around the couch to stand in front of both my brothers. They normally keep this part of themselves hidden—the vulnerable side that we all share from the bond built among us during our tornadic upbringing. I gaze up at them, hoping that they can stop seeing me as the little sister that they have to guard from pain and set me free—not only by helping me move past what Mama did, but also to build a life with the man that’s taken the top spot in my heart.

“I love you both more than you’ll ever know, but yes, I need you to let me do this without you. Mav, you’ve spent enough time cleanin’ up her mess, and you don’t need to go back to that. Clay’ll figure her out on his own time and I know his comin’ along would force his hand in dealin’ with her before he’s ready. And,” I sigh and shrug, feeling the power of Tate’s love slam into me right when I need it the most, filling me with the words I need to use to make Maverick see. “Tate’s here now, and with him I’ve got my heart back, Mav. He spent a long time missin’ that part of me too. You don’t live without that for all those years and not want to protect it the best you can. He’ll be there to pick me up if I stumble, help heal me if I feel pain, but it’s up to me to take this last step and solidify that protection myself. I want to do this for him just as much as I do for myself, so I can move on without her pullin’ me back, but I need to do this for me so I can finally let go.”

He rocks forward and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his chest, where I feel his heart pounding under my head. Clay moves in next, wrapping his strong arms around both of us. I feel my knees buckle when I remember all the times over the years that we would find ourselves in a similar huddle. When we would feel the absence of our mama, not knowing why she didn’t love us; when our father would start spewing his hate; or any other time we just needed to draw strength off each other. It was times like this that would make me believe that no matter what life threw at us, the Davis kids always had this. That will never change: even when, years from now, we’ve built our own families, the core of us will always be here.

“I’ll make the call tonight,” Maverick mumbles into my hair, still holding me tight.

“Thank you,” I tell him, my words muffled against his chest. Pulling the arm smooshed between Clay’s stomach at my side, I wrap it around him and hold both my brothers a little tighter. “I love you guys. Thank you for lettin’ me go.”

Maverick guffaws. “We ain’t lettin’ you go, Quinny, we’re not ever gonna do that, but we’ll stand by and let another man—the right man—keep you safe while we support you from the side.”

And there go the tears again.

I don’t leave for another hour, the three of us not doing any talkin’ but piled on the old couch and lettin’ a television show be the excuse we give for the delay, when all three of us know we just want to be near each other a little longer.

When I head out, waving out the window of Homer, there’s only one place I want to go, and that’s into the arms of the man that’s helped me get to this place of healing.

The man I love.





25


TATE


“What Ifs” by Kane Brown

- -

“What can I do?” I ask Quinn for the tenth time since we walked into the long-term facility that her mama’s been staying at for the past few years.

It’s a nice place, to be sure, and for anyone else it would probably scream welcoming and comforting, letting family and friends know that their loved ones are being cared for in an environment they can visually trust.

To me, it feels like hell.

Not because of anything they’re doing, but because I can see the nervous fear on Quinn’s face as her eyes swing around the room. She’s been doing this since the nurse Maverick arranged to meet with us left to go make sure her mama’s been moved to a private room where visitors can have a moment with the people they care about without being stuck in a hospital room.

I’ve got to hand it to the place—from a doctor’s standpoint, it’s a top-notch facility. It’s evident they encourage visitors, seeing that they go to great lengths to ensure a level of comfort in those visits that most long-term care places just aren’t financially able to. It tells me that Maverick, despite everything this woman did to her children, didn’t spare a single expense when it came to her care.

I’m not sure I would do the same thing if my own mama needed something like this. I haven’t spoken to my parents in months, and that will never change. To me, they died nine years ago.