Kiss My Boots (Coming Home #2)

“She’s a twenty-seven-year-old woman. She doesn’t need her brothers’ permission to do shit.”

“Just because she doesn’t need it doesn’t mean it’s not somethin’ she wants. And I think you and I both know it’s a lot more than just permission she wants.”

“Fuck,” he says harshly under his breath. “I’ll come to you.” Then he disconnects the call and I’m left to the deafening silence around me, a twisting feeling in my gut.

“This shouldn’t be an awkward conversation at all,” I grumble to myself, getting out of the truck and going into the house to get ready for Clay.

I’m not going to find anything there to help ease my racing mind, though. It’s just a shell of the house that was my grandparents’ home. Aside from the layout and a few little things here and there that hadn’t been lost forever after my parents almost took this place away from me for good, it’s unrecognizable. The comforting scent of my paw’s old pipe isn’t lingering in the air. Gran isn’t busy in the kitchen cooking up a storm. The old chairs that were in front of their ancient television are long gone, tossed away.

It’s up to me now to create my own memories in their huge farmhouse.

I’ve just poured myself a cup of coffee when I hear an engine roar, announcing Clay’s arrival. Not knowing if he’s going to want something as caffeinated as coffee this time of evening, I walk through the living room and out to the porch, putting my mug down on the rail. He climbs down from his truck, adjusts the dark cowboy hat on his head, and then lumbers through the grass until he’s standing at the bottom of the six stairs, waiting for my cue before he takes another step.

“You want a cup?” I ask, tilting my head toward the mug.

“Wouldn’t mind one, but that shit will keep me up all night and I got too much shit to do in the mornin’ to be losin’ sleep.”

“You wanna stand there or come up and have a seat?”

He looks toward me, then over to the rocking chairs before answering, “Lead the way.”

Grabbing my mug, I turn and walk over to one of the chairs. I pull it away from its partner and turn it slightly so I can speak to his face and not take a coward’s way out by avoiding his eyes just because he’s as intimidating as it gets.

“Not to rush you, Doc, but it’s been a long day and I haven’t decided if I want to kick your ass or not.”

“I’ve only been in town a week and you already want to kick my ass?”

“I’ve wanted to kick your ass for damn near nine years,” he answers, taking his hat off to rest it in his hand before giving me his undivided attention, stoic face, and hard eyes.

“Quinn knows what happened back then, Clay. She knows and she understands. As much as I would love to say it isn’t any of your business, I know it is. Doesn’t make it any easier to admit to a man I’ve always respected that I was a coward before I ask him to support the relationship I hope to build with his baby sister.”

With the sun low in the sky, I can see his face clearly, but still he gives nothing away. This could go two ways: he could share his sister’s understanding, or he could follow through on his desire to make me pay for hurting her. While I don’t doubt that he’s justified in wanting that, Clay is the last man I want to go head-to-head with. He’s built similar to me, but his work on the ranch puts his strength at a considerable advantage to mine, no matter how many hours I spend in the gym.

He maintains his silence as I lay out everything I told Quinn earlier this week. It’s a huge blow to my male pride that I let someone keep me from the woman I loved because I wasn’t man enough to protect her from the harm they could have so easily inflicted. It isn’t an easy pill to swallow, even if I know deep down I did the right thing.

“You’re kidding,” he finally says when I finish my story.

“Wish to God I was. If it had been anything else, I wouldn’t have kept my distance, you have to know that, Clay.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbles, looking away and out in the distance in front of the house. “Your paw know about this?”

I nod. “I only told him enough so that he’d accept why I stayed away, but not all of it. He thought I was too busy with school and then my residency for the most part, but I told him Quinn and I just hadn’t worked out, so he didn’t press for more.”

“Explains why you didn’t come back sooner, I reckon. I paid off that loan my old man took out a year or so before he died. When I took over, that was the first thing I set to rights.”

I nod, feeling the sadness of the lost years creeping back in. “Right after my inheritance was turned over to me. I know. An employee at my father’s bank helped to keep an eye on those loans for me. I tried to get Paw to let me settle his shit with my father when I found out, but he wouldn’t budge. His pride wouldn’t let him, and in all honesty, I was ashamed that I’d let my father win, so I kept my silence about why I was tryin’ so hard to get him to agree and gave up a lot of my hopes in that moment.”

Clay lets out a low whistle, running a hand through his dark hair. “That’s one hell of a shit story, Tate. I figured I’d come over here and there wouldn’t be shit you could say to make me understand you hurtin’ my sister, but I gotta say, in your shoes, I’m not sure I wouldn’t have done the same thing.”

“I want her back. I want to give us back what was stolen from us and I know she wants that too, Clay. She’s just scared, and rightfully so.”

He stops studying the yard and finally looks at me. “And what do you want from me?”

I shake my head. “I wanted you to hear what happened from me. I don’t care if you tell Quinn about this chat. I won’t hide from her that you were here. If she wants to talk about what happened, then she has another person that can help her work through that. I need her to see me workin’ hard to rebuild the bridge that was burned when I left the last time. I wanted to tell you, man-to-man, that my intentions are honest when it comes to Quinn. I don’t know what the future holds for us, much as I wish I did, but your sister wants us to take some time to get to know each other again, and until I know she trusts in us again, it’s all up in the air until I can prove otherwise. I’m already done for. Honest to God, even if she was half the woman I loved back then, she’d still be perfect. If she gives me her trust and heart again and you want to stand in the way of us findin’ the future we lost, then so be it, but you need to know an army at your back won’t keep me from fightin’ for that woman. No one will ever do that again.”

“You sound pretty damn sure of yourself for someone that claims to be taking the time to get to know her again before you decide if she’s worth it.”