Kiss My Boots (Coming Home #2)

“It wasn’t that bad,” I insist. “I only showed my ass for a second before we were alone and talkin’ in private. Long story short, he put it all out there and I don’t know what to do with the new information. Jesus Jones, Leigh, I almost understand why he vanished into thin air now.”

By the time I finish telling her everything that Tate confessed earlier, our dinner is cold and forgotten about. She doesn’t seem to be enjoying the conversation anymore, though, because she almost looks like she’s on the verge of tears.

“What? I can tell you want to say somethin’,” I deadpan, exhausted from the emotional marathon I’ve been on today.

“You know, I used to think that the men around here were clueless when it came to relationships. Take your brother, for instance. Maverick disappeared, for the most part, because he was runnin’ from the shit y’all dealt with growin’ up, but also to chase his dreams. He didn’t even give me a chance to support those dreams and be there with him durin’ all those years he stayed gone. He thought he was doin’ the right thing pushin’ me away to give me a future without him. Even if we both know now that we could have made it work, he did it all the same, because he was scared.

I start to speak, to defend Maverick’s reasons for leavin’, even if I never agreed with his actions in pushin’ the connection he had with Leigh away. Out of the three of us, Maverick had to escape our father’s reach: I knew that, even if I did miss him every day he was gone makin’ a name for himself in the rodeo. It was hard to know he was doing what was best for him, the right thing for him, but that in doing so he was breaking Leigh’s heart in two. Leigh just smiles sadly, her lip curling, acceptance written in her blue eyes.

“Water under the bridge, honey, I know that, but even if I was crushed at the time, I got him back anyway. Don’t even get me started on Clay.” She laughs, trying to lighten the mood some, but sobers instantly. “Like I said, Q, I used to think all the men around here were clueless, but I can honestly say that isn’t the case with Tate. He tried to change the path he needed to travel to chase his dreams. Found a way to make a detour on his journey and keep you in the process. He did everything he could, but in the end, he didn’t stand a chance. He didn’t want that distance any more than you did, but in order to protect everything you, your family, and his grandparents had, he did what he was forced to do. Now he’s back, Q. He’s back, and from what you’ve told me, he didn’t even waste a second in hightailin’ it back here when he knew those he was protectin’ were no longer vulnerable to harm.”

“You make it sound like the easiest thing in the whole dang world, Leigh. To just forget the past and pick back up where we left off.”

A burst of air escapes her lips. “It’s not. Not even close. But if you want him—if that connection is still there—then reach out and take it. Y’all still have to get to know the people that you’ve grown to be, and in the end, you might find what you used to feel for him is no longer there, but you also might find it’s a whole lot more powerful now. Either way, you’ve got to jump in the saddle and take the bumpy trail together to find out.”

I look away and out the window while I weigh her words. There isn’t much to see, since it’s just after dinnertime on a weeknight, but the darkness is easier to focus on while my head spins.

“Quinn,” Leigh calls softly, breaking me from my thoughts, and I turn to look back across the table at her. “You know we had a conversation just like this when your brother came home. You sat there and supported me without question, but one thing I’ll never forget you tellin’ me is somethin’ I reckon you’ve forgotten yourself now that you’re stuck at the same crossroads.”

Goose bumps pepper my skin and I shiver slightly when I feel the chill of déja vu making itself known.

“I’ll never forget it, Quinn, because it was what I needed to hear in order to take that chance, and because of what you told me, I’ve got the man I’ve loved my whole life, a dream he built us, and the promise of one hell of a future. I want that for you, Quinn and I have a feelin’ the man who can give it to you is the same one you’re afraid to take a leap of faith on.”

I bite my tongue when I feel emotion burning up my chest, something Leigh doesn’t miss, because she pushes her arms across the table and grabs hold of my hands with her own, squeezing them tightly. I focus on our tightly clamped-together hands in order to tuck the heaviness I’m feeling back down before looking up to focus on her again, knowing deep down what she’s about to say will be a game changer for my jumbled mind.

“It’s been a year since, and I still wonder how long I would have kept pushin’ had you not put it all out there with so much clarity, so now it’s my turn to give those words back to you. Can you sit there and tell me that since Tate’s returned you don’t feel like a piece of you that’s been missin’ is startin’ to heal? You told me when two souls are meant to be intertwined, they always find a way back to each other, Q. The difference between you and me, though, is that you know everything that kept him from you, and while he might not have come back until now, it sounds like he’s been fightin’ for you in some form ever since. Don’t do what I did and use your pain to push him away. Allow that missin’ piece to heal, and in the end, even if you decide to just be friends, at least you can finally move on with your life one way or the other and have a chance at feelin’ your forever.”

At some point in the middle of her speech, I lose control over my feelings. I still hold one of her hands tightly in my own, but I swipe at my face with the other, clearing the annoying tears that I was powerless to hold back. My throat is burning, a lump of pain lodged deep within it.

“Jesus Jones,” I breathe, shaking my head in disbelief. “For someone who doesn’t have the slightest experience in this shit, I sure did sound like I knew what I was talkin’ about.”

Leigh’s hand tightens. “Something tells me, Q, you actually have more experience than any of us.”

“I’ve been alone since he left, Leigh. The only relationship I’ve ever had was one I basically kept a secret from everyone, and when it exploded, I let the crash scar me deep enough that I never tried again. How exactly does that scream experience?”

“I think you’ve actually been waitin’, to be honest. When you helped me through that rough spot with Maverick, you were speakin’ from deep inside you, Q. It was advice I have a feelin’ your mind was just waitin’ to give you for yourself. Like you told me, two people meant to be together will always, always find their way back together.”