Then I remember my dad and the upcoming anniversary and shut down. I keep it quick and to the point. “Let’s watch the tapes.”
The hope in Britt’s eyes melts away, replaced by sorrow. She swallows, nodding her head, and pushes play on the computer.
If Killer doesn’t feel anything, why does the look on Britt’s face cause actual physical pain?
I focus on the tiny laptop screen, unwilling to delve any further into my reaction to Britt.
Britt
The fact that Keller’s next fight is in Atlanta is both a blessing and a curse. I’m glad we don’t have to travel together, share a flight, cars to and from the airport, hotels where we’d see each other around all the time. But with the anniversary less than a week away, getting out of the city would do me a world of good. My nerves are completely frayed.
Plus, my mother won’t stop texting and leaving messages on my phone. She’s run the gamut from demanding I at least go to the anniversary as a guest and not a speaker, to threatening me that I better show up “or else.” With everything else falling to pieces around me, the last thing I need is a guilt trip from my mom. But if there’s one thing I can definitively say about Rose Shelton-Reeves, it’s that she’s a bulldog—she knows what she wants and clamps her strong jaws on it, not letting go without a fight.
Exhausted, I take a deep breath and open the door to Sousa MMA, unprepared for another long day of training with Keller, touching and manipulating his body while pretending it doesn’t affect me. Trying not to cringe at the way he ignores me, refusing to make eye contact and hiding under that damn hood of his.
“Britt, you look awful!”
My gaze flicks over to Roxie, standing behind the front desk slash juice bar with her mouth hanging open.
“Thanks a lot,” I say, twisting my lips into a pout.
“No, hon. I mean, you look so tired. Are you sleeping at all?”
I give her a small smile, appreciating her concern, but honestly, no one can stop the nightmares and panic attacks.
No one but Keller.
My smile falters and embarrassing tears well up in my eyes when I think of the man who so coldly turned me away without any explanation.
“I’m fine, Roxie.” When the tall woman gives me a look of disbelief, I reassure her. “Really, I’m okay. Just a lot of late nights and early mornings. Once this fight is over, I’ll get more rest.”
And once the anniversary passes.
The gym is fairly quiet, and why wouldn’t it be? I’m an hour earlier than usual because the only thing worse than not being able to sleep is sitting awake in my apartment, freaking out. At least here, I feel more safe than I do at home alone. One of our new fighters is chatting with Jack near cage three and there’s someone else on one of the cardio machines. Other than that, the place is deserted.
I head to my office and close the door. The last thing I want is to talk to anyone. It hasn’t been five minutes when there’s a knock on my door.
Ugh. It wouldn’t be professional to scream “go the fuck away” like I want to, so instead, I tell them to come in.
“Hi, Britt.”
The tall man enters the office, leaving the door partway open as he crosses the room. His brows are pulled low and his eyes reflect concern.
Exactly what I don’t need. Pity, worry, questions I can’t answer…
“Jack, what can I do for you?” I say, my voice tight and my posture rigid. I just don’t want to do this right now.
“Are you…? I mean, Britt, you’re not yourself lately. You don’t smile anymore—”
“I appreciate your concern, Jack, but I’m fine. Too many long hours is all.”
Jack closes his eyes and clenches his jaw. I notice his fists balled up at his sides. When he fixes his gaze back on me, I already know what’s coming. Jack’s eyes are shining with hatred.
“Did that fucker hurt you, Britt? Huh? Because I swear to god, if he did—”
This place is worse than a damn soap opera with all the gossip and butting into everyone’s business.
“Stop, Jack. I’m fine, and it’s none of your concern. Now,” I sit behind my desk and pull out my laptop. “Unless you need me for anything medically related, I need to get to work.”
I look down at my computer, but can see Jack warring with himself out of the corner of my eye.
Please just go, Jack. Don’t do this.
“You might not want to hear it, but I need to say my piece, Britt. Then I’ll go.” My fingers freeze on the keyboard, but I don’t look up at the man as he speaks. “Ever since that, that… creepy motherfucker showed up here, you’ve changed. You don’t smile anymore, you’ve lost the spark in your eyes. I’ve watched you shrivel up into a husk of who you were.” Jack comes closer, splaying his big hands on my desk to lean over. “He’s not worth it, Britt. Something’s… not right about him. Don’t let that asshole ruin you. You’re better than him.”
Jack waits another second before turning and leaving my office, gently closing the door as he goes. I slump over my desk, resting my head in my hands.
“Don’t let that asshole ruin you.”