I glanced at my phone and the third text from Killian. It had been two days since the visit to Emily and Logan’s farm, and I hadn’t spoken to him.
After Emily had shown me the two massive Clydesdale horses that she’d rescued from the horse auction, we had brunch with them on their deck, and it was nice. Really nice because Logan and Emily were amazing and Killian was relaxed and attentive.
He usually had some part of him touching me, whether his thigh under the table or his hand on the small of my back or the light touches like pushing a curl behind my ear. By the time he drove me home, my panties were soaked, and I was contemplating either forgetting the entire arrangement or jumping him right there in the car.
Savvy. Pick up your phone, please.
I wasn’t ready to talk to him. My mind hadn’t stopped spinning with thoughts of Killian, and I wasn’t sure what to do about it yet.
Hence why Mars and I were out for dinner and drinks. She insisted on it being her treat as an early birthday present, saying I needed this now, not in two months when it was my actual birthday.
“Is it him again?” Mars asked.
“Yeah.” I shut off my phone and placed it in my purse. I’d talk to him tomorrow when I was sober. Drunk texting was a bad idea. I’d probably end up inviting him over and sleeping with him.
We were on the patio of an Italian restaurant on King Street where we’d had dinner and shared a couple bottles of wine while I’d told Mars everything about the arrangement with Killian. Of course, she had to swear on her life not to tell anyone about the fake dating.
And at first I thought it was a great idea to go out and have a few drinks. Now that I was tipsy, I wasn’t so sure. I had no willpower to block him out.
I was thinking of when he held my hand as we walked back to his car after saying goodbye to Emily and Logan. And even though I knew it was for show, it felt right.
How he was so relaxed with them and how he and Logan were pumped about the new album they were working on. His intense side had always attracted me to him, but seeing him so easygoing, that was on another level and I didn’t know if I could resist him.
“Oh, just fuck him and get it out of your system already,” Mars blurted.
My sex tweaked at the thought. God, I wanted to fuck him. There’d never been any question I did. I wanted to feel his hands all over me, to taste every inch of his body, have him sink inside me.
I sipped my wine shaking my head. “No. I can’t.”
“Why not?” Mars wore that tiny mischievous smile where the right side of her mouth twitched.
“He’s paying me to date him, that’s why.” Although, I had yet to cash the check. I didn’t know why, but it was still shoved in the bottom of my purse.
“Did you ever think about why he’s paying you to date him? I mean he doesn’t need to pay a girl. They’d pay him to date them.”
True, but Killian didn’t date. “He doesn’t want the hassle of dating.”
“But he’s never dated. Why now?”
I shrugged. “He said it’s good for his reputation.”
Mars laughed. “Savvy, that man doesn’t give a shit about what other people say about him. No, I think he just wants to date you, and this way you can’t say no. The guy liked you in high school, and he likes you now.”
“That’s ridiculous,” I muttered.
“He wants you, so just fuck him and have fun for the month. And, babe, if you ever date him for real, he is nothing like the douche David.”
No, he was nothing like David. Killian turned my body into a puddle of melted butter. David never did that. “He’d never do what David did. That’s beneath him.”
“So call him. Tell him to come over and fuck you. And then tell me if he has a cock piercing.”
“Oh, my God. I’m not telling you that.”
“But you are thinking about it.”
“No.” I changed the subject because her idea was sounding better and better. At least my body sure as hell thought so. “What about that guy you met at the gym?”
“Matt?”
“Yeah.”
She shrugged. “Nope. Do you know he told me my outfit was too revealing and gave guys the wrong impression?” She shook her head. “I’m working out. What does he expect me to wear? A snowsuit?”
We both giggled, and she flagged the bartender and ordered another bottle of wine, which we consumed while laughing over the silliest things like how her boss Dwight walked like he’d been spanked the night before.
It was nearly midnight by the time we stumbled out, still giggling and I’d thankfully wiped Killian from my mind with the blissful numbness of alcohol.
The cab dropped me first, and I stumbled out, nearly falling when my foot didn’t lift high enough to step onto the curb. Mars laughed her ass off, and I gave her the finger. The cabbie waited until I was in the front door of my building then drove away.
I looked up at the three flights of stairs I had to climb. Shit.
I gripped the railing with both hands. “Damn, this sucks,” I mumbled as I started, slowly, up each step that appeared as if it was swaying or was it me swaying?
“What the fuck?”
Hmm, that sounded like Killian’s raspy voice. Was he so ingrained in me that I was hearing him everywhere I went?
I was concentrating on the next step and not the footsteps coming down the stairs toward me or the curses that accompanied the footsteps.
“Jesus.” Then he said, “She’s here. And by the looks of it smashed.”
“Damn. I’ve never seen her smashed.”
Was that Trevor?
I looked up and a blurred vision of Killian stood on the step above me. I rocked backward because he was really tall and I had to crank my neck far to see his face.
His arm shot out to hook my waist and stopped me from tumbling down the steps.
“Ya’re… here?” I slurred.
Killian was here. In my building. How was he in my building? Why was he in my building in the middle of the night?
“Mmm,” he murmured.
He bent and scooped me up in his arms. My arms hooked his neck, and my head lolled to the side to rest against his chest.