“Why not?” Ream asked.
“Because I don’t want her around.” But it was the opposite. I did want her around, and that was fucking with my head.
“She been to your dungeon?” Crisis asked, smirking.
“No. And she won’t.” He was referring to my warehouse. When I moved out of the penthouse I’d shared with Crisis and Haven, I’d bought a warehouse down by the docks. Large empty space with a punching bag, set of drums, and a few essentials. It was disposable. So was everything in it, which wasn’t much. It could burn down tomorrow, and nothing would change because I had nothing to lose.
Private. Simple. Uncluttered.
There’d been so much clutter in my head growing up that it constantly felt as if it would explode, and it had. It had exploded into fighting other kids. The bullies. The kids who’d tormented others. But it was more than that. Every time I’d fought, I’d been hitting my father.
It was his blood I’d spilled.
My fuckin’ dad’s comments. The pictures of my brother being shoved in my face as he’d shouted at me.
The hatred blazing in his eyes.
I’d wanted to hurt. To fight and feel the pain. Because in some ways, it had been my fault.
I always watched out for him. Until I didn’t.
“You seeing her again?” Logan asked.
I lifted my head. “No.”
Crisis jumped on that. “Why not? You’ve never given a crap about a chick. What’s with her? And why do you care if she dances at Compass?”
“Drop it, asshole.”
He held up his hands, but his eyes were filled with mischief. “Hey, it’s my turn, buddy. You were on my case about Haven.”
“That’s because you were texting her behind Ream’s back.” And payback was a bitch. “Weren’t you in bed with Haven when her brother came in the room before you were together?” I turned to Ream. “He told me you sat on the bed while he was between her legs under the covers, and you never knew.”
Ream’s temples throbbed. “What the fuck?” He glared at Crisis who wisely pushed back his chair ready to bolt. “You were doing that shit to my fuckin’ sister when I was in the room?”
“Shit, no. It wasn’t like that,” Crisis blurted. “You’re a dick,” he said to me.
“Should’ve left the Savvy conversation alone,” I said.
“Yeah, well, game on,” he said.
These guys had helped save me. The band. I sat, laughing and dicking around with them because this is what it was about. They gave me a family when I’d lost mine. When I’d been so fuckin’ angry at the world, including at myself, yet they hadn’t judged or questioned. Instead, they’d let me deal with whatever was fucking with me until I’d got my shit together.
Ream suddenly dove for Crisis, and beers and chairs toppled over as Crisis leaped out of his away.
The dog jumped up at the commotion, barking at Ream and Crisis.
It took two seconds before Ream tackled Crisis, mostly because Crisis was laughing so hard he couldn’t run, and they both fell into the pool.
This was a regular event between them. They weren’t blood brothers, but they were brothers in every other way.
They dunked one another under while the dog stood on the edge of the pool, wagging his tail watching. Then apparently having had enough of watching, it did a belly flop into the pool and tried to get in on the fun.
“She’s important to you. Saw it then. See it now,” Logan said.
“Yeah.”
“You going to do something about it?”
“Nope. Wouldn’t be good for her or me.”
“You sure about that, Kite?”
I remained quiet. No, I wasn’t sure. I was back then, but now….
Fuck, I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
She’d been embedded in me since the first time I saw her that day in the school infirmary. I’d never looked in there. Didn’t care who was in there or why.
But her long red curls had been a beacon and I’d been the lost ship looking for a way out of the angry, stormy sea of emotions.
So, I’d looked, had stopped walking and stared at her. She’d been sitting on the edge of a chair, her hands resting quietly in Daniel Hennessey’s as tears streamed down his face. There’d been a tissue in his lap with blood on it and a smear still visible under his nostrils.
Savvy had spoken quietly to him, but I hadn’t heard her. I hadn’t needed to though. I’d seen it on her face. The compassion. Not pity. No, she didn’t have the puppy-dog sad eyes. Instead, there had been determination on her face mixed with understanding.
Daniel had been new at school, like Savvy, although at the time I hadn’t known her name. Daniel had a stutter as I’d heard a few kids talk about him. I’d known what was coming for Daniel as I’d known better than anyone how cruel kids could be.
As I’d watched them, she’d plucked a new tissue from the box and handed it to him. He’d wiped his tears and then she’d drawn him into her arms, and it was like all the tension drained from Daniel as he’d sagged within her cocoon of warmth and kindness.
I’d been unable to look away—from her. This girl with the red curls and warmth radiating from her.
When she’d pulled back, there hadn’t been sadness in her eyes, there had been strength and she’d offered it to Daniel.
I’d noticed him struggling to get his words out, and she’d listened, nodding. No frustration. No interruption. No attempting to finish sentences for him.
She’d just listened.
My chest had swelled.
When I’d finally broken away from the scene, I didn’t go to class where I’d been headed. Instead, I’d walked down to the river and skipped pebbles across the smooth surface.
I hadn’t known her name. But it was the first time I’d ever wanted to know more about someone since my brother’s death.
And that was when I began to watch her. It hadn’t taken me long to realize her soothing quiet eased the anger in me.