“I…I…” The question is so surprising, so insulting, I barely know how to answer. “Am I not? Do you know something about me that prevents me from being, um, relationship material?”
“Yeah, because you’re too fucking nice. College is a cesspool of people who are fucked up, Lucy. You think you know them one minute, but you don’t. I don’t know what Masters was thinking marrying some chick he knew for the span of a semester, but we all know he’s going to be divorced before he gets his signing bonus.” Ace pauses. “No, after, because the chick will take his money and run off with it, after she’s fucked all of his teammates.”
“Ace, what are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the fact that you’re making a huge fucking mistake. You want to survive with your soft little heart intact, then smarten up. I’ve told you time and again that guys here only want one thing. You think somehow your * is the golden one that suddenly turns Ives away from all the free * he has access to?”
I flinch.
“No, you’re a novelty. He thinks the chase is great, but once you stop running, he’ll be bored and move on to the next tasty treat on the menu. How long did your dad spend staring at the bottom of the bottle waiting for your mom to stop fucking my dad?”
I jerk back, feeling his words like a physical blow.
He swipes a shaky hand across his face. “Guys like us. Like my old man. Like Matty. Women are just a convenience. There for the taking. There all of the time. The only thing we can do to minimize the damage we inflict is to pair up with women who want the same thing we want. They don’t want love or romance. They don’t require devotion. They give their bodies. They take from you, and you’re both fine. But that’s not how you’re built, Lucy.”
I hardly know what to say in response because he’s right. I tried the hookup route after my high school boyfriend dumped me. Those weren’t satisfying, so I tried dating my safe, solid boyfriends. Those weren’t successful either. I tried one night with Matty but couldn’t stick with it because he was too charming, too fun, too wonderful in bed and out of it. But I do require loyalty, faithfulness, and a certain amount of devotion. Matty’s already admitted he’s been a shitty boyfriend to one girl.
“Maybe I’ve changed,” I manage to choke out. The lie tastes bitter on my tongue.
“When did you start fucking him? Have you known all along? Have you been laughing about this shit behind my back?” The veins in Ace’s neck are bulging against his skin. He’s red-faced, and some of his words are wet, laced with spittle and venom.
I can feel a spike of stress messing with my system. “I slept at Matthew Iverson’s place the night my apartment was fumigated,” I say as evenly as possible.
“You slept with Iverson four weeks ago?” Ace yells like some outraged virgin.
My own temper fires up. He’s not the injured party in this scenario. I slam my spoon down again. “Yeah, because you were fucking some jersey chaser on the sofa, and I didn’t want to watch the porn show, okay? Matt offered me a place to stay.”
“Oh, I bet he did.”
I stare at him in confusion. “Yes, he did. And he was a perfect gentleman. He didn’t try anything. He made me breakfast and sent me on my way. We got together later and had sex.”
He screws up his face. “You know what? Take your little walk in the gutter with Iverson. But don’t come to my house weeping that he’s broken your heart and given you an STD.”
I rear back as if he’s slapped me. “That’s not fair.”
“Welcome to life, Lucy. Nothing is fuckin’ fair,” he spits out.
“Ace.” I try to soften my tone, but it’s difficult. His hurtful words are branded in my mind, making my hands tremble. “This has nothing to do with you. I promise you. I’m on your side. What position you want to play, what Matty wants, it doesn’t matter.”
Nothing I say penetrates Ace’s rage. He snatches his sunglasses off the table and is at the door in four long strides. Hand on the doorknob, he turns back. “You’re going to regret this. When he moves on, and he will, and you end up being humiliated after dozens of pictures are plastered on the web with him and some jersey chaser, you’re really going to feel good, aren’t you?”
“Please go.” My throat is tight. I can’t believe he’s saying these things to me.
“I’m telling you this because you’re too soft for Matty Iverson. If you have any doubts about what I’m saying, Google his fucking name. There are a helluva lot more pictures out there than what I showed you.”
I try swallowing, but there’s a huge lump in my throat. “What Matty did before me makes no difference.”
Ace looks at me like I’m the dumbest fucking girl on the planet.
“Have fun fucking him tonight.” And with that, he’s gone.
At the computer, I hesitate. I slam the laptop lid shut and then pace. I pace back to my desk and open it again.