Jacob's Ladder: Gabe (Jacob's Ladder #1)

Abby’s face lit up as she practically sprinted down the length of the porch to meet them. After she opened the door for them, the twins leapt at Abby and she began smothering their faces in kisses. “Oh, my babies! I missed you guys!”

“They were barely gone twenty-four hours,” I muttered through a mouthful of cake. While Abby either ignored my comment or didn’t hear me, Eli kicked me under the table. Of the two of us, Eli was the kid-friendly one—or I guess I should say niece-and-nephew-friendly one. He loved entertaining the twins as well as the kids of the other Runaway Train members. Before shows, he looked like the fucking Pied Piper with them all running behind them.

“What? I was just making an observation.”

“You were being a dickhead.”

With a smirk, I replied, “It’s something I do well.”

Eli snickered. “That’s true.”

Jake had taken the twins camping on the far side of his property to give me the quiet I needed for songwriting. In my state of mind, the last thing I needed was Jax and Jules disturbing me. It was common knowledge among my family that I wasn’t a kid person. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Jax and Jules with all my heart and would kill anyone who laid a hand on them, but I just wasn’t one who really knew how to relate to kids. While Eli was ready to settle down and have a family of his own, I wasn’t sure that life was for me. Sure, I thought about finding that special girl to spend the rest of my life with—in fact, now that I was thirty, I was growing to like the idea of settling as well. I just didn’t know if kids were going to be a part of that future, and that fact made it seem extremely hard to find a wife.

Some people would think my aversion to children came from having a terrible father, but nothing could have been farther from the truth. There wasn’t a better father than my dad. While he might’ve been selfless when it came to his ministry, he was even more selfless as a father. He had ensured that my siblings and I had a wonderful childhood. Others might have resented the fact that we lived off the grid and didn’t have the cool modern gadgets or devices, but I appreciated the hell out of my raising. It was an endless adventure that molded my outlook on life, and I certainly wouldn’t have been in a successful band without my childhood.

Not only did my dad give me the perfect model of a father, I’d also seen the men of Runaway Train, who we toured with, almost effortlessly take to parenthood. I just didn’t know if I had it in me. In my mind, I couldn’t seamlessly merge the two worlds. I was bound to screw up, and in the end, screw up my kids.

Maybe it was the perfectionist in me, or maybe it was the part of me that always felt inferior. While my siblings all had amazing voices and played multiple instruments flawlessly, my only talent was in songwriting. I didn’t have Eli’s outgoing personality or Abby’s sweetness or Micah’s spiritual and emotional strength.

Abby brought me out of my thoughts when she asked, “Did you catch anything?”

The twins bobbed their heads enthusiastically. “My fish was this big!” Jax exclaimed, his small hands widening to indicate a huge catch.

“Not quite, bud, but it was pretty big,” Jake countered before bestowing a kiss on Abby’s lips.

“It’s still big enough for us to eat, right, Daddy?” Jules asked.

Jake grinned. “Of course it is. All the fish we caught are. I’m going to start cleaning them right now.”

“I’m sure TMZ would pay big money to see a video of rock star Jake Slater cleaning fish scales,” Eli teased.

With a laugh, Jake replied, “Before you get any ideas, they won’t give you jack for any video that doesn’t involve me and Abby in a compromising position.”

Abby’s eyes bulged. “Jake!”

“Like the twins know what compromising means, Angel,” Jake replied.

I fought my gag reflex as Jake called Abby by his pet name for her, one he’d given her right after they met. She’d taken it so far as to name their Golden Retriever Angel as well.

Huffing out a frustrated breath, Abby said, “I don’t know why I even bother. With everything they see and hear on the road, my babies are going to corrupt their classmates next year at kindergarten.”

“There’s nothing wrong with corrupting others. I think I did a fine job of it with you.” He playfully smacked Abby on the ass while giving her a look that made an older brother want to throat punch him.

Abby’s outrage waned, and instead of giving him a piece of her mind, she winked at him. “Go get the fish.”

Jake saluted Abby. “Yes ma’am.”

As Jake headed back to the Jeep, Abby steered the twins over to our table. “Are you hungry? I made your favorite kind of pound cake.”

While Jax dove at the dessert, Jules hopped up into my lap, threw her arms around my neck, and placed a kiss on my cheek. “Hiya Uncle Gabe.”

“Hi Jules,” I replied as I squeezed her tight. She was a tiny thing like her mom, but she had a personality that surpassed her size.

Her curious blue eyes peered up at me. “Didya write some songs last night?”

“No, I didn’t.”

Her tiny brows furrowed. “Daddy said that’s what you came up here for, and that’s why you couldn’t play with us.”

Inwardly, I groaned. I mean, Jesus, could it get any worse than catching shit for my writer’s block from a four-year-old? “It was.”

Jax leaned over to whisper rather loudly in Jules’s ear. “Shh, Daddy said not to talk about that in front of Gabe, remember?”

Jules clamped her hand over her mouth. “Oh no, I forgot.”

I glanced past the twins to eyeball Jake, who had just walked up on the porch balancing a cooler brimming with fish on his shoulder. “I see my writer’s block was a matter of discussion among you guys,” I said tersely.

He winced as he set the cooler down. “Sorry. I was only trying to help.”

Deep down, I knew he was. The man had not only offered up his guesthouse for me, he’d also shuffled his kids away for a night. Still, in spite of being a celebrity, I was a private person. I didn’t like anyone knowing my business. It was bad enough that Eli, Abby, and Jake had to know about my writing issues, but now the twins did as well.

“I’m sowwy I mentioned you can’t write songs,” Jules whispered.

Inwardly, I was unraveling, but I couldn’t let Jules see that. I couldn’t have her thinking less of me. I basked in the fact that she thought I was ten feet tall. “Thanks, Julesy-pie.”

Swallowing hard, I fought the anxiety that slithered its away up my body. It was the same kind of feeling I got when enveloped by a crowd of fans. I could see now that trying to escape to Jake’s farm was just a bust. “I think I’m going to head back to Atlanta.”

Jules tightened her grip around my neck. “Don’t leave yet, Uncle Gabe. I haven’t gotten to play my drum set for you yet.”