I grin because his enthusiasm is contagious.
Not for me, mind you, but I’m sure all the silver-spooned teenagers he’s hanging out with over at Redemption Prep are getting a kick out of his brain. And maybe asking him to teach them how to pick a lock.
Getting the kid set up with a sponsor family wasn’t nearly as difficult as I might have thought it would be. Ma knew some people who ran the program, and Stix was scooped up pretty quickly.
Motherfucker is thriving.
Go figure.
His brother would be proud as hell.
Sports are good. Don’t take any shit from the older kids.
He sends me an emoji of red lips. I can’t for the life of me figure out why in the hell he’d send me something like that. Then he says, Sorry, that was Tina.
I don’t even wanna know who Tina is.
Gotcha. Gotta run, I tell him. And he replies, SAME.
I don’t have the time or patience to call the rest of my family, so this time, I do put the phone away and push the exit door open to sunshine and cold air.
I step out of Lana’s office building and take a nice, deep breath of air. Only to choke out the smog and shit.
I half laugh because fuck it. Ya know what I mean?
Green’s waiting for me just like she said she would be.
By now, that shouldn’t surprise me, but it does.
I mean, what the fuck would she want to put all of herself into me for? Right?
Damaged.
Bitter.
Fucking asshole at times.
Okay, most of the time.
On top of which, I’m about to have my damaged, bitter, fucking asshole all the time father move in with me.
Temporarily, but I digress.
There she is, leaning up against the Chevelle, reading some shit on her smartphone, looking like it’s any other day of the year.
I nod when she peeks up from her work.
“Hey.”
“How’d it go?”
I pull out the folded paper Lana gave me and shake it like I just aced a history quiz back in high school. “I’m official.”
Green laughs and puts her phone away.
“We should celebrate.”
“We should.” I ease up to her and trap her there between me and the Chevelle. My tone is playful. My eyes though? They’re serious.
Man, am I glad she’s here.
She reaches her hand up, and I know where it’s headed. So I push the hair behind her ear for her.
Our eyes are locked.
“What?” Her voice is pitched. She’s nervous. But I’m not. Not with her.
“Thanks, by the way.”
“For?”
“For being someone I can count on.” I lean in and kiss her on the lips once.
“For showing me I can be someone people count on.” I kiss her again, longer this time.
And fuck it. I’m going all in.
“I─”
“Don’t say it, Jackson.” She wiggles her arms out from between us, and I open my mouth to ask her why, but she stops me with a single motion. One that places her luscious lips against mine this time.
She holds my face in her hands, and I find her waist with mine as we move in sync with each other, as usual. When she’s made her point, she slows the pace and ends the kiss.
She presses her forehead against my chin instead of looking up at me.
“If you say it, it’ll make this real. And if this is real, I don’t want to know yet.”
She peeks up.
“Deal?”
I don’t know what she’s thinking. Actually I’m pretty sure I already know. It’s got something to do with an ex and a bad story she has no interest in telling me.
I’m not about to push her away at this point. So I tell her, hesitantly, “Deal.”
Green smiles that triumphant smile of hers that’s starting to grow on me and pulls her door open.
“Oh, here.” She bends down and picks something up off the ground. “This fell out.”
She holds my cigarette out for me.
I think about it. I take it and examine it. A twist of my lips, and I toss it into the street.
“I don’t need it anymore.”
“You never did.” She smirks, and I shake my head. I start around the car to the other side but stop halfway around. ’Cause ya know what? Fuck that.
She’s not taking this shit away from me.
“Hey, Green.” I start toward her, again, urgent.
“Mmmm?”
I grab her by both arms and kiss her firmly on the mouth. Her lips part, and our tongues meet with every ounce of passion they did that first time I kissed her. Even though I didn’t know it then, I can look back, and in hindsight, I know I knew on some level.
I end the kiss when it’s time, and as she opens her eyes, I glare down at her, slightly pissed off.
“I’m goddamn crazy about you.”
“I─”
“I don’t give a flying fuck if you want to hold on to something you think you have to hold onto because if it’s real it makes it, what? Too hard? Scary? Screw that. You know what’s hard, Emma? Blindly going through life with nothing but work and a piss ass one-bedroom apartment, thinking there isn’t anyone out there for you. That no one, not even your fucking family, understands you. And happily ever after? Well forget that ’cause who’ll put up with your ass long enough to let that happen?”