With Pek gone, life in the clan becomes an exercise in waiting. Roon paddles out into the bay at least twice, out to a spot where he can see people fishing on the beach of the western shore. He comes home saying he thinks he glimpsed a few girls, but a glimpse is all he gets for now. Since he is really just a child, my parents forbid him from making any formal introductions to the clan. That is my father’s role, and while Pek is gone, he refuses. Perhaps he is hoping Pek will return with good news before he has to make that effort. Roon whines and begs him to go, but Father argues that he would not want his sons marrying into different clans, which I can only agree with—it might mean never seeing one of them again.
The chance is small, of course—a bride generally joins her husband’s clan—unless she is the oldest child of the High Elder. Then she would be presumed to be the next High Elder herself, and her husband would go to her and her family.
As long as Pek is pursuing Seeri—as long as the Manu are pursuing an alliance with the Olen clan—Roon will have to wait. My father will not take the chance that one of his sons might meet the daughter of another High Elder while he still has hope of moving our clan south.
I head to the meadow every morning to search for honeybees, but I have little patience to lie still and listen for the sounds of their wings. Lying in the grass, my mind always turns to you and your clan and my brother Pek, and I end up on my feet, pacing. On the seventh day without news from Pek, I reach the meadow and find I don’t need to hunt for bees anymore; they are everywhere. They crawl on every flower. Before the sun is high in the sky, I have located the first hive.
That afternoon, I return to camp and find my mother standing on the shore, watching the water. Her eyes are rimmed in red and she chews on the inside of her cheek. “I’m worried, too,” I say. “In the morning, I’ll set off to find him.”
“You can’t go on foot,” my mother says.
I squat on the ground outside the door to the kitchen, prepping my pack for the journey by the dim glow that comes just before sunrise, though at this time of year, as the days grow longer and warmer, the night sky never goes completely black. Instead it darkens to a deep blue—as blue as the sea that reaches up to meet it at the horizon.
I went in early last night, hoping to store up on sound sleep, but my night was punctuated by bad dreams. I saw the Spirit cat, running hard toward me, its bloodstained claws tearing the grass, leaving a bright red trail. It flew at me, its curved teeth coming so close I felt the cat’s breath, as hot as flame, against my throat. Other times my dreams were visited by Pek, his body inverted, his hands clutching wildly but unable to reach me, his face hidden by his floating hair.
Morning couldn’t come soon enough.
“I’m not taking that kayak, Mother.” My personal boat is too small and volatile for the open sea, and our clan has only one other large kayak. They’ll need it to fish while I’m gone.
“It won’t be an easy trip overland.”
We both jump at the sound of my father’s voice. Neither of us had heard him approach—we’d thought we were completely alone. My mother’s head whips around at his words.
“What are you doing sneaking up like that?”
“But it won’t be as difficult as it might have been before we learned where the Olen clan camp,” my father says, without acknowledging my mother’s question. He hasn’t come as close as I’d thought—he stands just a few paces beyond the door of our hut—but even speaking low, his voice carries. At this hour, the air of the meeting place is still and silent. “We know it’s a day’s walk from here—”
“A day from first light to last,” my mother interjects, “which in summer is a very long day. He will tire—”
“The sky is clear,” my father continues. “You shouldn’t encounter any storms.” He hesitates, knowing that he will anger his wife if he lets me reject the kayak, but also knowing how much the clan may depend on that kayak for food with both Pek and me gone. Since the kill we had with your family, we’ve seen no sign of the rest of the mammoth herd.
“Let him go, and let him leave us the kayak. The Divine will watch over him as she makes her slow trek across the summer sky, helping him arrive before last light. When he gets to Chev’s clan, he can return with Pek in the kayak he left in.”
There is an extended silence, and I know that my mother and father are thinking of Pek and hoping that I find him well when I arrive in your camp. I never told them what happened on that first seal hunt. It doesn’t matter. They both know how dangerous the sea can be.
We all know.
When I leave, loaded down with weapons to the same extent that Pek was loaded down with gifts, my brothers and my parents each give me a kiss on the cheek. We did not do this with Pek, and I know that we all wish we had.
In my pack I carry provisions for several days, since I know the general direction and the approximate distance, but there’s no way to be certain I won’t become lost. If I don’t find your camp within two days, I’ll have no choice but to turn around and come back.