*
We stopped at a gas station to fuel up and go to the bathroom. As Ethan and I made our way back across the parking lot, Mindy popped out from behind my van. I jumped when I saw her.
“What’s with the driving?” she said. “It’s like a bad chase scene.”
I scanned the lot, saw Karen in her Honda, sitting low in her seat like a gangbanger, giving me the evil eye. “Where’s your mother?”
Before she could answer, I cut her off. “I don’t know why you’re all even following me. I’m taking him there. This isn’t your or Karen’s decisions. So, if you think you’re going to talk me out of this, you are very mistaken. So leave us alone. Go back to your celebrity world with big-headed Will Ferrell, and let me handle Ethan. I know what’s best for him. And this is best, this is best!”
Mindy scowled, then stormed back to her car and slammed the door. I thought she might have given me the finger, but I wasn’t sure because the sun was glaring off her window.
“Mom!” Ethan yelled. “Hello! Hello! Hello!”
Mary jumped out of her van. “Exactly what is your problem? Are you trying to get us all killed?”
I tried to stare her down, but despite my anger, I couldn’t, and just looked at the ground. “I’m in a hurry.”
“A hurry? Do you think you can outrun us? Is that what you’re trying to do? You can’t do this unless I agree, so there’s no point to that.”
“I’m going,” I said. “I’m taking him up there, and you’ll sign everything.”
“You’re acting crazy!”
“I don’t care.”
She assessed me through round sunglasses before saying, “He’s coming with me. Come on, Ethan. You drive with me. Mom.”
“He’s staying with me.”
“Not the way you’re driving. Come on, Ethan.” She extended her hand.
“No.” I wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “He’s staying with me. We’re fine. He wants to stay with me, don’t you, Ethan? Don’t you want to stay with me?”
“Yes!” Ethan looked at Mary who still had her hand out. “No!” he said.
Mary moved over a few feet, positioning herself between my van and me while I tightened my hold on Ethan and tried to think things through. Having a shouting match in a parking lot with my ex-wife, the woman I was still very much in love with, the woman I was secretly hoping to woo back, was another scenario I had not envisioned in my Overall Plan.
“Could you please move?” I tried to get around her, but she blocked me, arms folded across her chest.
“What’s going on? What are you doing?” It was Karen. She and Mindy had somehow materialized and, along with Mary, formed a circle around me. I was surrounded by grim-faced women in large round sunglasses.
“Why. Mad?”
“He won’t let Ethan go,” Mary said.
“So you’re kidnapping him?” Karen asked. “So we’re doing that now?”
“I’m not kidnapping anyone.”
“So let go of him. Give him to us.”
“Sun. Out.”
Cornered, I bared my fangs. “You know, I can’t tell you how disappointed I am in all of you. Look at us!” I stopped and waited for a response but got nothing. Everyone stared back at me, jaws thrust forward. Finally I said, “You think this is easy? I want to do this?”
“Don’t do it then,” Karen said. “Mom, you can stop him.”
“She doesn’t want to stop me because she knows I’m right.”
“We need to talk about this some more, John,” Mary said.
“Why are you flip-flopping? We just talked about it last night! We’ve talked about doing this for years! We’re through talking, finished with it!”
“You’re forcing this decision,” Mary said. “We need more time.”
“I’m not forcing anything!”
“Hey, Dad, chill out,” Mindy said.
“Poo-poo!”
“Don’t tell me to chill out.”
“Poo-poo bad.”
“Let’s stop someplace and figure it out,” Mindy said. “That’s all we want to do. We shouldn’t drive any farther until we discuss everything. We didn’t get a chance to last night. And you ran out of the hotel this morning—you escaped. We just want to talk, Dad.”
Under normal circumstances, I would have welcomed her conciliatory comment, agreed to talk things through, but I was in a bad, angry place, a place without reason.
“Talk? Talk? If you wanted to talk this morning, how come you went out and got rental cars?”
Mindy shrugged. “Fallback plan.”
“We can’t even sit in a van together, much less talk. And there’s nothing to talk about anyway. I’m doing this because it’s the right thing to do. There’s nothing to discuss. We’re doing this. I’m doing this. I’m not making you two come. It doesn’t matter to me if you come.” I looked solely at Mary. “I don’t care if you come either. I’ll send you the forms. You’ll sign them, I know you will. You know this is the right decision.”
“I’m not signing anything.”
“Yes, you will.” With that, I grabbed Ethan’s hand and pushed past my family.