Sal patted her on the back a few times, then let her go. “So, what’s he like? He an asshole or what?”
“Conan? Oh, tall. Conan is tall.”
“Tall? Jeez, had no idea.”
“It’s a show-biz secret,” Mindy said. “Don’t tell anyone.”
“Who the hell am I going to tell? Hey, where your things? Let me give you a hand. Don’t give me nothing heavy on account of my back.”
Without missing a beat, Mindy handed him her empty plastic water bottle. “Here, take this.”
After a second of confusion, Sal laughed. “Look what she gives me.” He wagged a finger at Mindy. “Look what she gives me! Empty bottle! I always said you would be famous! Didn’t I? Didn’t I? Huh? All those plays in high school? Didn’t I? Huh? The singing, the dancing. And you were homecoming queen, what: Twice?”
“That was Karen.”
“Always knew you would make it. Always.”
“You did,” Mindy said. “You did. Well, I’m going to check in.” With that, she quickly picked up her bag, grabbed Ethan’s hand, and made her way inside.
Sal watched her leave. “She okay? She seemed a little quiet. She’s usually all over the place.”
“She’s concerned about Karen. We all are.”
“Jeez, John, but you gotta be proud of her.”
“Karen?”
“The little one.”
“Oh, I am.”
“You can’t teach what she’s got. That wit. Quick on her feet with the zingers. Like Ali, stings like a butterfly.”
“Yep, that’s her. A stinging butterfly.”
He lowered his voice. “I gotta be straight about one thing though. That thing with the adult diaper she does. That skit when her ass gets big, you know, inflates like that, whatever, the thing she did last week or whenever. I gotta say, do you think that’s in the best taste? Just between me and you, I know some people who gotta wear those, and it’s nothing to laugh at. Intermittent incontinence isn’t a joke; it can be serious and life changing.”
I considered Sal’s unusually earnest comment and concluded that my big, strapping bookie, maybe-in-the-mob-but-probably-not brother-in-law was possibly, at that very moment, wearing an extra-large diaper, and this saddened me. For better or worse, Sal was a constant in my life, indestructible, and I didn’t like the fact that he might be running down.
“I don’t think that’s what she’s making fun of. She’s making fun of people who are so busy, they don’t have time to go to the bathroom.”
Sal studied me with his hooded black eyes. “See, I don’t see it like that. I see it different.”
“You should talk to her then. I know she values your creative input.” I made a move toward the door.
“So,” Sal said. “What you think of this place? Beautiful, huh? Despite the TV issue.”
I paused and took in the historic Jefferson Davis Inn. It was, as advertised, an immaculate former plantation home, complete with the requisite white column pillars, porch swing, and screened gazebo. Situated on a shady lot populated with weeping willows and a row of arching cypress trees that lined the long entry road, it offered a fine view of Charleston Harbor. Gone with the Wind comes to life, the Web site said, and I had to agree. I walked to the end of the porch and stared out at the water, an unexpected sense of sadness, a gust of regret, hitting me. I had last seen the Atlantic on our honeymoon, thirty years prior; I was seeing it again under very different circumstances.
“Letting flies in here.” I looked back. Sal was holding the door open.
“Oh, sorry.”
We walked inside and entered a spacious foyer with a spiral staircase off to the right.
“Different,” Sal said. “Unique in an historic fashion. You know who the place is named after?”
“Jefferson Davis. The Confederate President.”
Sal looked disappointed. “Oh, you know that.”
“Yes.”
“Who told you?”
“I just know.”
“Yeah, you’re a teacher and everything, I guess you would. You know, I’m kind of surprised they named this place after that guy. I don’t get it. Didn’t he get their asses kicked in the war? Didn’t he own slaves? And they’re naming a hotel after him? It’d be like, if we were staying in Germany in a place named after Hitler. The Adolf Hitler Inn, or the … the Hitler Hotel. Hey, I’m staying over at the Hitler. Or let’s grab a drink at the Hitler. Don’t seem right.”
I looked at Sal’s earnest face. I could tell he had given this issue considerable thought. “You’ve been here too long.”
“Tell me about it.”
“I’m going to check in,” I said.
“Wait. One more thing.” Sal stepped close and whispered, “The Jaw, that prick, is lurking around here somewhere. I seen him earlier out front, like some kind of predator. If I catch him anywhere near Karen, I’m going to bust him up.”
“Sal, thank you, but I can handle Roger.”
“I’m just saying so you know, you know?”
“The whole thing is disappointing.”