“What are we going to do now?”
“I know exactly what to do,” Mindy said.
“What?”
“Eat,” she said. “I. Starving.”
*
I called Mary while Mindy finished her barbeque chicken quesadillas.
“Hi,” I said.
“I can’t talk.”
“What’s going on?”
“I can’t talk.”
“Tell me what’s going on.”
“I can’t talk.”
“Is Karen there?”
“I can’t talk.”
When I heard silence on the other end, I handed Mindy back her phone.
“What she say?”
“I don’t think she could talk.” I stared straight ahead at the necks of bourbon and scotch bottles lined up on the back of the bar. “Poor Karen.”
“She’ll survive.”
“That’s all you have to say? She’s your sister.”
“I think we’ve talked, like, twice in the past year.”
“That’s ridiculous. You live ten minutes from each other. You know, she scheduled this wedding around your schedule, she planned it this way. She waited until the show was off.”
“I know that, Dad. I know that because everyone keeps reminding me of that fact. I’m surprised the invitation didn’t mention that: Planned around Mindy’s schedule.” She pushed her plate away. “God, I’m a pig. I can’t believe I just ate that.”
The bartender walked over and cleared her things. He was tall and lanky and like every male under thirty, sporting a bit of stubble. He stared hard at Mindy for a moment, smiled, and asked, “Excuse me, but are you Mindy Nichols?”
Surprisingly, she blushed and looked down at the bar. “Thanks, but no. But I mean, I wish. She’s amazing,” she mumbled.
The man stood there for another second, trying to sift through her response, then smiled again and drifted away.
“That, like, never happens to me,” she said.
“He knows who you are.”
“Well, that makes two of us.” She wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Anyway, I don’t want to have the ‘how do they get your ass to inflate like that?’ conversation right now.”
“You didn’t have to be rude. He’s a nice guy.”
“Nice guy.” Mindy rolled her eyes. “Just stop it.”
“Stop what?”
“Stop trying to fix me up with some guy, okay? It drives me nuts.” She grabbed her purse, rummaged through it, then slapped a black American Express card down on the bar.
“I wasn’t trying to do anything, but okay, I’ll shut up.” I picked up the card and handed it back to her and placed my own pedestrian green American Express card down.
“Do you have my key?”
“I’ve got it here somewhere.” I began emptying my pockets. “I know I have it.”
“Oh, fuck!” Mindy jumped off her barstool. “Ethan! Stay over there. I’m coming! Stay right there!”
“What?” I looked up just as Ethan, in bare feet and boxers, darted across the lobby toward the bar. With his knees locked and his long skinny arms flapping about, he looked like an electrocuted stick figure.
“Mindy! Here! Mindy! Here! Hello! Hello! Hello!”
“Oh, Jesus!” I bolted from my chair, but Mindy reached him first, covering him with a hug.
“Hi, buddy! Let’s get back to your room, okay?”
“Where. Mom. Be?”
“She’s not here. Come on. Let’s go. Dad, give me the key.”
“Cold. Out.”
“That’s because you’re almost naked.”
“Yes. Ma’am!” He laughed and kept hugging her hard, his face beaming. He loved Mindy.
I stroked his hair and squeezed his shoulder. I was trembling. I had no idea how he had gotten out. “The door mustn’t have closed all the way, or he figured out how to open it or something. He’s never done this before. Never!”
“He’s fine,” Mindy said.
Ethan, one arm still around Mindy, reached out and pulled me close. The three of us were now in a small, tight circle. I suddenly feared where things were heading.
“Oh God,” I said.
“What?”
In an off-key voice, Ethan began, “Family. Family! Family! U!…”
Mindy’s eyes grew wide. “Not the family fight song, please. I’m tired.”
“Sing!” Ethan yelled.
“Fuck!”
“Just do it,” I said. “He won’t stop until we do.”
“Dad, I can’t, come on! Not here.”
“You’re an actress, act,” I whispered between gritted teeth. “No one’s here anyway.”
“Dad!”
“Sing!”
“Do it,” I said. “Please.”
So we held hands and sang, “Family! Family! Family! U.S.A!” Over Mindy’s shoulder, I saw the bartender, frozen in the act of wiping a glass, his mouth agape.
“There’s still only one verse, right?” Mindy asked when we were finished.
“Yes.”
“Good, let’s beat it.”
I handed Mindy her key. “I shouldn’t have left him,” I said again.
“Everything’s fine.” She lead Ethan away. “Just get Red Bear. She’s probably going to hit on that bartender.”
*
After I put Ethan back to bed, I went into the bathroom, and hit speed dial. Mary surprised me by answering.
“Oh God,” she said.