Jessie felt sick again. She was discreetly holding her stomach under the kitchen table, a fake, forced smile on her face as she listened to April describe her date with Kai. The date itself sounded like it hadn’t gone very well. April hadn’t liked her hair getting all out of sorts from the helmet. She hadn’t enjoyed the long, exertive trek up to Red Rocks; with a half-grin she’d explained that there was only one reason why she’d want to be sweaty with a guy on a date, and it wasn’t hiking. And she really hadn’t been impressed with the food options. She’d been hoping for lobster in a classy restaurant and hadn’t been too thrilled about freezing her butt off, swatting away too many bugs to count, and eating what she considered “camping food.” Personally, Jessie thought she was being a little prissy about the whole thing. Maybe it wasn’t April’s typical date night, but it sounded perfectly romantic to Jessie.
But the part of the night that April had liked, the part that she could not stop talking to Jessie and Harmony about, was the part that was making Jessie nauseous. April and Kai had kissed, and it was much more than just the tiny peck Jessie had witnessed. From the way April told the story, Kai had had her sprawled on the stone steps, moaning and groaning with desire, and had practically shoved his tongue down her throat. She went on and on about how he couldn’t plan a date worth a crap, but he definitely made up for it with his mouth.
April couldn’t wait to see him again.
Jessie couldn’t wait until she was alone in her room again; she had some pent-up tears that needed releasing.
She’d thought watching him leave with April would be the hardest part of all of this. Staring at his bike as it pulled away with April on it had ripped her to shreds. But this? Hearing April describe images that haunted Jessie’s dreams? His hands, his breath, his lips? It was too much to bear, and Jessie had no idea what she’d say or do the next time she saw him. She was anxious about their next meeting, nervous and impatient. She wanted to tell him to stop seeing April, wanted to demand that she was the only woman in his life. But she couldn’t do that to Kai. What life would that be? For either of them? Not truly having each other, but not having anyone else either…it sounded lonely to Jessie. Lonely and painful. But so was watching him fly away with April. Maybe Jessie should start seeing someone too. She just had no desire to see someone. Anyone but Kai, that was. But she couldn’t have Kai, and they both needed to move on.
Interrupting April’s hundredth retelling of making out with him, Jessie stood and set her cereal bowl in the sink. Faking nonchalance, she tossed over her shoulder, “I’m glad you guys had an okay time, April. I’m gonna head over to Gram’s, see if she needs anything. Catch you guys later.”
As she walked past the two of them still giggling at the table, she heard April brightly exclaim, “Have fun! So…how soon do you think I can call Kai?”
Closing her eyes, Jessie didn’t answer her roommate. She tried to let it go, but tears stung beneath her eyelids and her stomach roiled. It was right; it was natural. Unlike her and her cousin, Kai and April made sense together.
Her stomach finally felt a little better on the drive over to her grandmother’s…until she pulled into her driveway. Jessie sat in the drive with her truck idling, staring over at Kai’s bike in the spot right next to her. He was here. If she went inside, she’d have to see him post-date. Would he look different? Would he look like he’d been bitten by the love bug? Would he want to tell her all about it? Jessie had had a hard enough time listening to April, she wasn’t sure if she could handle hearing Kai talk about it.
Sighing, she shut the truck off. She wasn’t here for Kai. She was here to take care of Grams. Kai was a decent guy. He wouldn’t bring up something that would potentially hurt her. Well, he might want to make sure Jessie was okay, but he certainly wouldn’t go into specifics like April had. She couldn’t hide from him forever anyway. They were family, and family didn’t abandon each other. Plus, she’d been sitting in the driveway for a while now; she was pretty certain she’d already been spotted.
Stepping out of the truck, Jessie ran a hand through her curls. Exhaling a long breath, she prepared herself to see the man who occupied so much of her mind…and her heart.
Jessie opened the front door and walked through it like she lived there. Grams insisted that family didn’t have to knock. She didn’t see Grams and Kai and couldn’t hear them, but she knew they were there somewhere. “Hello?” she tentatively asked.
When no one answered her, she realized that they were probably out back, in Gram’s greenhouse. She stepped into the sunshine-filled kitchen. The bright yellow walls added to the cheeriness of the room, but didn’t help Jessie’s mood. Peering out the thin lace curtain over the window, she could see the opaque greenhouse in the back corner of Gram’s yard. Inside, she could easily make out two shadowy shapes—a short, frail one and a tall, lean one. Jessie sighed; even Kai’s shadow was appealing.