Her voice all sunshine and cheeriness, she told him, “Yeah, it’s fine. We’re going to have such a good time!”
Wondering if he was planning a decent enough date, Kai considered running his plans by Jessie. He wasn’t sure if he should though. True, they were friends, and he respected her opinion, but he was planning a date with another woman. Even though they’d both agreed this was necessary for them to move past what had happened between them, what was still happening between them, Jessie probably didn’t want to hear about it. Kai knew he wouldn’t want to hear about her dating some other guy. He already hated the tidbits he’d heard about her and her asshole of an ex, Jeremy.
So, whenever he talked to Jessie, he kept the topic off April, and stuck to work or Gran…or her; Kai could listen to Jessie talk about her life for hours. After a two-hour conversation late one night, Kai wondered if that was typical cousin behavior.
Jessie came by his place the next night, looking fresh-faced and flushed when he opened the door. The unexpected visit made him grin, but when he saw what she had in her hands, he smiled even wider. Shaking his head at her thoughtfulness, he motioned for her to come inside.
Beaming, Jessie walked over to the patio set that she was letting Kai use in his kitchen, and placed a couple of thick cushions over the wrought iron chairs. Even though Kai had to admit the furniture was a little hard and uncomfortable, and the padding was a must-needed addition, he put his hands on his hips in mock sternness as she worked them into place. “You need to stop doing nice things for me. I can’t keep up, Jessie.”
After securing the deep blue fabric to the metal chairs, she stood and admired the small kitchen set for a moment before twisting to face him. “You don’t need to, Kai.” Tilting her head to the side, she bit her lip. A long, curly lock fell over her shoulder, resting just above her breast. Swallowing, Kai forced his eyes to stay locked on hers. “Besides, I couldn’t leave you with butt-numbing furniture.”
Jessie laughed after her comment, and her face lit up in a way that made Kai want to let out a lovesick sigh. He didn’t though. He only smiled and sat down in his now comfortable chair. Leaning back, he exaggerated a long, happy groan. “Well, my butt and I thank you.” Kai laughed; just being in her presence made him feel lighter.
She started to lower herself into the newly padded chair opposite him, but paused halfway down. “Oh,” she exclaimed softly, reaching into her pocket. Struggling to contain an impish smile, she pulled out her hand and handed him something. “Here, I got this for you.”
Kai watched her warm brown eyes burning with mischievousness as he took the object. Furrowing his brow, he stared at the candy bar in his hands. Then he read the label and started laughing. Glancing up at her, he gave her a crooked smile; her eyes locked onto his lips. “A Bit-O-Honey bar? Because of the bees, right?”
Nodding her head, she started laughing uncontrollably. Kai couldn’t contain his smile as he watched her amusement. “Cute,” he answered in his most disgruntled voice.
His eyes drifted to her lips as she shrugged and said, “Yeah, I saw them at the gas station when I was filling up on the way over and thought of you.”
She stared at him so lovingly, Kai stopped breathing for a second. Mesmerized, he whispered, “Always thinking of me…”
The smile fell from her face. It was instantly replaced by an expression of longing and pain. Kai wanted to reach out for her, wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her. More than anything, he wanted to tell her that they could find a way—that they could be together somehow. Even if it was wrong, even if their family and friends disowned them, surely the bond between them was strong enough to make a lifetime of shame and ridicule worth it?
But his stomach convulsed at the thought of caving, and he looked away from her. As right as it felt sometimes, it also felt horribly wrong. He couldn’t entertain those thoughts. Not with her.
Jessie sighed after he broke their intense connection, and Kai glanced back at her. She was worrying her lip as she studied the table; her face was as conflicted as his. Just when he was about to ask her how she was feeling, even though he already knew she was as torn as he was, she whispered, “Where are you going to take April?”
It was Kai’s turn to sigh now, and Jessie looked up at him. Telling her about his date with April would help firm the wall they needed to have between them, so he decided to lay out his plans. Jessie listened, small tears forming in the corners of her eyes. When he was finished, she was silent.
Just as Kai looked away again, she spoke, “It sounds beautiful, Kai. I think she’ll love it.”
Even though she’d said, “I think she’ll love it,” Kai clearly heard, “I know I’d love it.” Returning his eyes to her, he nodded as he swallowed the lump of pain in his throat. Standing, he came around to her side of the table and pulled her into the hug he felt she needed. The hug he needed.