“He’s just a doll,” my mom said. “So smart. And handsome! Amber sure knows how to pick them.”
“I have no doubt,” I said, faking a smile. I’d never discussed my feelings for Amber with my mom, though from the sympathetic look on Helen’s face, I suspected that Amber had discussed them with hers. Heat rose in my cheeks.
“I think you’ll like him,” Helen said.
“I’m sure I will,” I said, hoping this would be true. Hoping that I could at least pretend for the duration of the party that I hadn’t spent the last nine months, since learning of his existence, silently wishing that he would screw up somehow and the relationship would end. Amber had dated other guys over the years, but none as long as Daniel. And now they were engaged and I worried that I’d lost my chance to change her mind about me.
I headed into the dining room, where I set Amber’s present on the table, then proceeded into the living room, where I saw Amber standing with her dad and a tall, tan guy with black hair. Amber’s fingers were laced through his.
“Hey,” I said, forcing another smile.
“Tyler!” Amber said, letting go of her fiancé’s hand to come over and hug me. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Wouldn’t miss it.” I hugged her, and a familiar sensation of arousal and longing rushed over me. Stop it, I told myself. Just knock it the fuck off.
“Come here,” she said, pulling back and grabbing me by the hand. She led me over to where her father and fiancé stood. “Daniel, this is Tyler. Tyler, Daniel.”
“Nice to finally meet you, bro,” Daniel said, holding out his hand for me to shake.
“You, too.” I gripped his fingers maybe a little too tightly before I let them go, but he didn’t seem to notice.
“How’s it going, Ty?” Tom asked. He put his stocky arm around his daughter’s shoulders. “Can you believe our girl is all graduated?”
“It’s pretty great,” I said, nodding my head.
“Like you were expecting me not to?” Amber said in a teasing voice. She looked up at her dad, who kissed her on the forehead.
“I expect you to kick ass at whatever you decide to do,” he said.
“Aw, thanks, Pops,” Amber said, giving her dad an adoring look.
“So,” I said. “I hear other congratulations are in order.” I smiled at Daniel, who nodded.
“I’m a lucky guy,” he said.
“The luckiest,” Amber agreed, and we all laughed. She held out her left hand to show me the ring, a small but sparkling round diamond on a silver band. “What do you think?” Her eyes were wide, a little worried, I suspected, that I might not be as happy for them as I seemed. After my behavior last August, I couldn’t blame her, but I’d worked hard since Christmas to act nothing other than supportive of their relationship. “If you’re happy,” I’d told her, more than once, “so am I.”
“Very nice,” I said about the ring now.
“Amber tells me you’re a paramedic,” Daniel said. “One of my cousins in Denver does the same thing. I admire the hell out of you guys.”
“Thanks,” I said. “But you, heading off to become a doctor. That’s something to admire.” I’m doing this for your sake, I wanted to tell Amber. I’m going to be nice to him. I’m going to be welcoming and friendly all because of you. But even as I thought this, I couldn’t help but concede that, so far, Daniel was a likable guy. However much I hated to admit it, I could see why Amber fell for him.
“Thanks, man,” Daniel said.
“Well!” Tom exclaimed, drawing away from Amber. He rubbed the palms of his thick hands together. “I’d better go fire up the grill if we’re going to eat anytime tonight.” He clapped me on the back and pulled me into a quick side hug. “Good to see you, Son. Don’t be such a stranger. You know Amber doesn’t have to be here for you to come see us.”
“I know,” I said. “Thanks.” I watched as he headed through the arched doorway which led to the dining room and into the kitchen, then out the back door. Not for the first time, I wished that my dad was more like Tom—affable, laid-back, and easy to talk to—qualities my own father had never possessed.
“Did you see your dad?” Amber asked me as she scooted over next to Daniel again. “And his date?” She screwed up her face, raising a single, questioning eyebrow. There were a hundred meanings behind that one expression, years of conversations about the complicated nature of my relationship with my dad.
I suppressed a sigh. “Yep. On my way in. They seem very . . . content.”
“No girlfriend for you, man?” Daniel asked.
I cringed a little at the continued use of “man” and “bro” at the ends of Daniel’s sentences. I was nit-picking, I knew, but it was irritating. “Nope,” I said. “I was seeing a girl in my building, but she went back to Bellevue to live with her parents for the summer.”
“Wait, what?” Amber said. “Why didn’t I know about this?”
I shrugged. “You didn’t ask.” I only mentioned Whitney because I knew the chance of Amber ever meeting her was basically zero. I just didn’t want her or Daniel to think that, when I wasn’t working, I spent all of my time alone—the poor, pathetic, miserable bachelor.
“I shouldn’t have to!” Amber stepped forward and hit me on the arm.
“Ow! Sorry!” I said, rubbing my bicep and pretending that her punch hurt more than it did.
Daniel laughed. “Careful, dude,” he said. “She’s feisty.”
I smiled, but inside I was screaming. I’m not your dude, dude! And you think I don’t know that she’s feisty? I’m her best friend. I know more about her than you ever could. I love her more than you ever will.
Instead, I said, “Don’t I know it.”
“All right,” Amber said. “We should probably stop hiding and go socialize with all my parents’ friends who were kind enough to write this feisty girl a graduation check.” She grinned, and both Daniel and I followed her outside, where my mom and Helen had set up a table with appetizers, and Tom was standing in front of the grill, sipping a beer and chatting with a man I didn’t recognize. I looked at the pool, remembering, and felt as though a rock had dropped from my chest into my gut. I wasn’t afraid of the deep end anymore, but I had never been able to shake the humiliating memory of what my father did to me that day.
“Tyler!” my dad called out. He and Layla hadn’t moved from their lawn chairs. “Come here, Son. I haven’t seen you in ages.”
You think that’s an accident? I thought. Still, as Amber and Daniel walked over to talk with a group of her parents’ friends closer to the pool, I made my way to my dad, shaking Layla’s hand when I got there. “Nice to meet you.”