Hell no.
He was a sexual powerhouse—stamina, passion, attention to detail, tender and raw, generous and communicative. We’d even tried anal sex, which I’d done before, but never really enjoyed much. With Boner taking his time with me and being gentle, encouraging, and even funny, I’d relaxed and enjoyed it a hell of a lot.
“No. No adjustments needed.” I touched his face, my fingers dragging through his newly trimmed beard. I need to touch him. He raised his chin and lowered his eyelids at the contact. “Boner, my point is, I don’t want you to feel restricted.”
“Restricted?”
“You’ve been a free agent since forever. And now—”
Music flared from the small stage, and the lights dimmed. One of the musicians began playing a ballad on his acoustic guitar as his bandmates got organized. The din of the crowd settled. The bar was thick with people, every table filled, and the staff hustled with drink orders.
Boner’s eyes flickered over me. His body hardened against mine. “Something wrong? You feeling stuck? Restricted?”
“Me?”
“Yeah, you.”
“I wouldn’t call it restricted.”
“What would you call it?”
“Overwhelmed,” I blurted.
A shadow passed over his face, giving his hollow cheeks an even sharper appearance. He cupped the back of my head. “Jillee, I know I get intense. If it’s bothering you—”
“No.” I pressed a hand onto his chest and rubbed over a pronounced pec. “I like your intensity. A lot.”
My face was very hot, and I was sure my skin was a thousand shades of pink and cherry red.
He took my hand in his and kissed it. “So, this is the good kind of overwhelming?”
“Yeah,” I breathed, staring at my hand nestled in his larger one. “I just thought that, since this arrangement is a temporary thing, I don’t want it to be a confusing one, too. I’m trying hard not to be overwhelmed, which might only lead to more confusion, which might then make you feel uncomfortable and restricted.”
He shot me that now familiar but still jarring what-planet-are-you-from look.
“Because here I am,” I continued, “the ex of your new hostile enemy, and now, I’m suddenly your old lady. I’m the new commitment, which you’ve never had before, and I don’t want to be a burden.”
His hand wrapped around my neck and pulled me close, his mouth crashing on mine, taking, declaring, giving. Everything spun on that kiss.
“I’ve wanted you for a long time, Jill. A long fucking time,” he said, our faces mere degrees apart, his beautiful eyes boring into mine. “I had to make a move. I made it. I didn’t do it ’cause I felt sorry for you or felt bad. I did it because it was right. Right for me, for you, for Catch. Yeah, and for Super-baby over here.”
He rubbed a hand across my belly.
“Firefly, every which way you turn this Magic Eight Ball, there’s only one message that floats up to the top, and that message is, Yes.”
I laughed, and he planted a quick kiss on my lips.
“So, yeah, your douche bag ex might have tipped my hand,” he continued, “but I’m glad he did. I like sleeping with you and waking up with you whenever we can. I like your kid. I like your cooking. I fantasize about your body and your mouth all the fucking time. I like being close to you. And after the baby’s born, I’m gonna have you tied to my bed and strapped around me on the back of my bike, and then you’ll know the meaning of the word overwhelmed.”
My heart stuttered.
“Neither of us wanted a commitment in the beginning, Firefly, but you know what? I’m liking it, and I think you do, too. So, relax, and let yourself like it. What the fuck?” He dipped his head and whispered in my ear, “I want you overwhelmed.”
I held him close, drinking in his scent, savoring the hard wall that was his chest, the silken brush of his hair against my skin. My eyes shut, and I pressed against him.
He was my thrill. My high. He was my castle fortress against the evil eyes of Mindy and Catch and whatever other dark clouds were rising in the horizon because they always were.
To hell with all of them.
“I think I get it,” he whispered.
“Get what?”
“You’re jealous.”
“Jealous?”
He cast a quick glance toward Mindy at the bar.
I averted my gaze and let out a huff of air. “Well, just a little, little bit.”
He kissed the side of my face, laughing. “Jillee, you got pieces of me no one’s ever had.”
My heart banged against my ribs, and I buried my face in his throat and hugged him.
The guitarist ended his ballad, his imploring voice still hanging in the air. Applause and cheers thundered through the old bar. The spotlight shone on Allen, the bassist Grace knew.
Boner’s arm settled over my shoulders, and I curled into him. Happy aches spun through me, fresh shivers, deeper heat.