I took in a tiny breath. Who the hell handed you a stirrer when it was right in front of you? Only a thoughtful, kind gentleman—that’s who.
This was why I had picked up and left Nebraska at a moment’s notice, wasn’t it? Because I was done with the wondering and the arguing and the wishing things were different, wishing that my ex, Catch, was different. I’d finally made a clean break with him, the one-percenter outlaw who’d cheated on me, was never really home anyhow, but we’d managed to have a baby together. Our relationship had once been passionate and fun, but both our insecurities and ambitions had chipped away at it until its luster had worn thin, and a mountain range of resentment had torn right through it.
Now, I was living the daydream I used to have while working at that launderette in Nebraska or pouring drinks for Catch’s brothers at the clubhouse or planning a trip to the nearest Walmart, which wasn’t very near at all, feeling as if it were a shopping trip to New York City. Back then I’d dreamed of being free from living my life according to the laws and demands of the monstrous global enterprise known as the Flames of Hell MC. I’d dreamed of not belonging to a tribe whose needs I had to usually put above my own. Most importantly, I’d dreamed of giving my daughter a real sense of family.
Here in Meager, I was truly happy for the first time in what felt like forever. I could sit in this great cafe and have coffee with a good guy who clearly liked me and literally not have a care in the world. I had even explained my surrogacy pregnancy for my friend Grace and her husband, Lock, to Matt last week. His eyes had widened as he’d emitted a long “Wow.” The knowledge had only boosted his already eager attention.
Matt leaned in closer to me. “I meant what I said earlier, if you want to find out more about becoming a physical or occupational therapist for when you’re ready, after the baby’s born, I can introduce you to one of my old professors, take you on a tour of the school.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Of course. You said you were interested.”
I was interested in a lot of things, if only I could decide.
My thumbs rubbed the side of my hot mug. “I just finished this part-time class in social media marketing actually. I liked it.” I fingered one of my dangling silver feather earrings. I enjoyed my little hobby of making charm bracelets, earrings, and necklaces, and in the very back of my mind I hoped to sell them online one day. That was my new secret idea.
“Mrs. Reigert just has a few more sessions at the center, right?” he asked, referring to Rae.
“Three more until her Medicare cycle is done.”
“Am I going to see you after that?” His voice grew lower, dragging out the words, his shoulders rolling forward. “I mean, I’d really like to see you, Jill.” His brown eyes held mine.
“Really?”
“Really.”
I averted my gaze to the creamy swirls floating in my mocha latte.
“Jill, you want to see me again?” The soft lilt in his voice made me raise my head.
But instead of Matt’s handsome face, my vision was filled with his face over Matt’s shoulder.
Boner. One-Eyed Jacks Sergeant at Arms. One of Grace’s closest and dearest friends. Among the club members, he was an easygoing eccentric of sorts, and when he grinned or laughed, which was often, that ease would show. However, with me, he maintained a shroud of seriousness. I just knew something else lurked underneath, and I’d remained fascinated since I’d first met him, which actually was many years ago and under emotional circumstances for the both of us. Death and regret.
Staring at me right now was that creature of the shadowy unknown. His gaunt face was set off by an incredible long mane of inky dark hair, a thin mustache and a trimmed beard. His eyebrows framed gorgeous green eyes that were a shade of beach glass. I had even looked up green gemstones on the Internet once to compare to that color. Jade. Peridot. Tourmaline.
Those remarkable take-my-breath-away eyes were piercing mine right now.
“What’s up?” he asked in that familiar growly tone.
A stab of heat shot right through my middle and fired away down in my lady parts.
I choked back my hot coffee. “Hi.”
He didn’t move a muscle, not one, except for a slight twitch on his left cheek and his stiffening jawline. Those sharp green eyes of his claimed my breath and incited shivers as they traveled over me in one long sweep.
“Uh…you know this guy, Jill?” Matt turned in his seat, the unusually high pitch of his voice revealing an unexpected stress level.
Who wouldn’t be stressed? I was stressed. I was stressed every time Boner came within a few feet of me. No, actually, every time he was in the same room with me, I got stressed. Very stressed.
I liked this stress though.