I watch her leave and notice how her shoulders are still slumped, like she’s carrying the weight of the world on them. It seems the argument was worse than she wants to admit and it’s still taking a toll on her. With Zoe’s esteem teetering on the edge of oblivion at any given moment, it affects her considerably when yet another family member treats her badly. I wish I could shield her from all the negativity so she can be a happy teenager for once.
She still has six weeks until her due date, which is after I’m scheduled to return to work. If I return to work. If I return to New York. That’s a decision for a different time, though. Right now, I have a new idea for Zoe to consider, and it’ll be perfect if we can coordinate the timing. With my nails clicking furiously on the keyboard, I locate the section on the website that gives me all the information I need.
A few phone calls later, my plan is shaping up nicely and I have plenty to share with Zoe when she gets home. Now I can only hope she’s as excited about this as I am for her. All the documents are printed and waiting for her to review when she gets off work later tonight. Stretching as I rise from where I’ve been perched in front of my laptop, I realize my research obviously took more time than I’d planned since it’s already beginning to get dark outside.
I still haven’t heard from Ace. He needed his space earlier today, and I’m fine with giving it, but I can’t help but wonder where he is. Funny how quickly I’ve grown attached to spending evenings with him, seeing him during the day, and waking to the feel of his warm, steady breaths on the back of my neck while spooning in our sleep at night. This leads to a completely different discussion I have to have with myself.
“What are your intentions for this relationship, Layne?” I ask aloud as I begin to pace. My pacing used to drive Bobby insane, but it helps me to think through complex situations, plot out my course, and prepare for my next move. “Why did you allow yourself to get sucked into falling for him when you know you’re only staying here for a few more weeks? You told him you love him. You put all your cards on the table, laid them all out on display for him. But you haven’t committed to anything past the end of the summer. So what’s the deal? Are you going back home?”
My feet halt and realization dawns when my reply fills the air. “If home is where the heart is, then my home is with Ace.”
I wait for the feeling of dread to settle in my chest, the proverbial other shoe to fall and tell me I’m making a huge mistake. For logic to kick in and convince me I’m an idiot for falling so hard, so fast, for a man I’ve only known for a matter of weeks. For common sense to demand answers to the hard questions, such as what I plan to do about a job, where I will live, and how Ace feels about this decision.
Actually, I believe I know how Ace feels about it. He’s been very upfront with his feelings for me. He wants me with him, by his side, sharing everything with him. It’s more than refreshing—it’s a novel experience. Even after years with Bobby, I was still pressuring him, trying to make him want to be with me. The constant struggle took its toll, and now I recognize that part of my depression was realizing the hand I played in that whole fiasco.
From the balcony outside the master bedroom, I see a familiar, innately masculine form move in the darkness. “Ace is home,” I whisper to myself. “Why hasn’t he called me?”
Seems no matter how secure I feel, doubts can so easily creep in and control my mind. I really hate that feeling.
Ace is leaning on his forearms against the porch railing when he drops his head to his hands. Even from here, where I can’t see his face in the darkness, I can feel his torment. Something has severely disturbed him and I want to help him. Will I be the needy, clingy girlfriend if I just show up? Or will I be the strong, supportive girlfriend if I just show up?
“Get over your crazy, Layne. We both know you’re going to just show up either way,” I verbally chastise myself.
Then I begin my trek to Ace’s house.
Chapter Seventeen
ACE
“What a fucking mess,” I complain again. To no one but the darkness that surrounds me. “Goddamn it!”
I want to punch something. I want to beat the shit out something. Just completely obliterate it until there’s nothing left. Anything to exert some of this pent-up frustration and intense anger that are burning through my veins. The thing is, I know myself all too well. Once I start, I won’t be able to stop. Not with this hanging over my head. Not with all the shit that’ll get dragged out from under the rocks and into the glaring light.
“Layne,” I say aloud on a heavy breath. “What will she think?”
“Who the fuck is Layne?” A formless voice snarls at me from the darkness. “Is she your new whore?”
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I growl in reply. “Leave. Now.”
“Haven’t you heard? I’m back, baby. I’m not going anywhere.” She steps out of the shadows and shows her sneering face, clearly loving the shock factor she’s inflicted on me.