“For you? Always.”
Her simple response makes tears spring to my eyes. The support, the love, the friendship that she so easily gives, and I’ve so recently lost. To hide my emotionally charged response, I take a moment to close my laptop and take a drink of water. When I’m sure I have myself under control, I take a deep breath and tell Marcia the entire story, from start to finish. From my relationship with Bobby, to the agreement I made in exchange for a baby, to finding him in bed with my best friend, I share my every shameful secret and every hidden desire with Marcia.
“We need to roofie them both, shave their heads completely bald, and superglue their genitals closed,” Marcia replies, sounding completely serious.
I laugh for the first time in a long time. I desperately needed that release right now.
“Why are you laughing?” she asks incredulously. “I know people.”
“Thank you, Marcia. I really needed that laugh today,” I reply. “No superglue needed. Although, the whole roofie and head-shaving idea has merit.”
“If you change your mind, you know where to find me. And I know where to find the guys who can make it happen,” she replies with raised eyebrows. “Until then, I think you need to take some time off.”
“What? No,” I object vehemently. “That’s the last thing I need.”
Deep down, I know she’s right, and I think I’ve known it for the last couple of weeks. A week after I caught them together, I finally snapped out of my dazed stupor and dove headfirst into depression. I think I actually prefer the stupor, when I was still shocked and didn’t fully experience the feelings. Now I feel everything. Every. Little. Thing.
“Layne.” The tone and inflection of Marcia’s voice scold me for my mental disappearing act. “This is exactly what I’m talking about. You’re not okay.”
She moves around the side of my desk to stand beside me. She places her hand on my shoulder and softens her voice. “Layne, I’m giving you some time off to get away from here and clear your head. Between school and work, you haven’t had a real break in years. Do you remember about three years ago when you went to Georgia with me on a case?”
“Yes, I remember. Small town. Nice. Peaceful,” I sigh.
“That’s right, in Oak Grove. I have a vacation home there I haven’t used in years. Go stay there for a while, enjoy the slower pace, and put all of this behind you. Your job will be waiting for you when you get back.”
Inhaling a deep breath, I prepare to begin my rebuttal. Just as I open my mouth to speak, Marcia cuts me off with her stern look and take-charge demeanor.
“I won’t take no for an answer. Take off until the end of summer and enjoy my house in the Georgia mountains, or pack your desk and leave here for good. Your choice.”
My face completely falls, and whatever thoughts I had formed to argue just flew out of my mind. “Marcia,” I gasp in a pained whisper.
Her face softens and she gives me a sad smile. “It’s for your own good, Layne. Trust me and do this for both of us.”
“It’s not because I’m fucking up my job?” My bottom lip quivers as I ask, but somehow I keep the tears at bay. Amazing, since they always seem to be just under the surface, waiting to burst forth at a moment’s notice.
“Not at all,” she consoles me. “I’ve known you for a long time, and I know you’re exceptionally good at your job. But I think this time away is more important than anything else, and I think you’ll realize it once you step out of the rat race. It’s a few months of paid leave in a beautiful mountain community. Anyone else in this firm would kill for the opportunity.”
I nod slowly, the idea of a peaceful, relaxing retreat firmly taking grasp in my mind. As I picture myself window-shopping along the quaint sidewalks of the small town, the stress starts to fade away. The sweet aroma from the flowering shrubs that adorn the landscape fills my senses, calming my racing heart. The warm spring sun heats my skin and makes me feel alive. The cool water of the river laps at my feet as I stroll along the bank, beckoning me with its promise of complete and total relaxation as I float weightlessly on the slow-moving current.
“Okay, Marcia. I’ll go to Oak Grove for a few months, just until the end of summer,” I agree. “I don’t know how to thank you for this. Let me pay you whatever you normally charge to rent it out, at least.”
“Not a chance.” She shakes her head from side to side. “And don’t argue with your boss. I hear she’s a tough old bird.”
“She’s not so bad.” I smile affectionately at her. “She has a soft spot, if you know where to look for it.”
“Don’t say that too loudly. You’ll ruin my bad reputation.” She winks.