“I wish you were my mommy.”
“You’re such a sweet girl, River. Do you not get to see your mommy?” Layne asks. It’s not a trick to gain more information, I can tell that from her demeanor and her tone of voice. She’s giving River an out to answer with a yes or no, and she’ll leave it at that.
“No,” River sighs sadly. “Daddy says she’s like my guardian angel now. I can’t see her, but I know she’s always there.”
“I’m sorry, baby girl. I lost my mom, too.” Layne brushes a lock of River’s hair from her face. “She knows you love her and miss her, though.”
River climbs over into Layne’s lap, leans her back against Layne’s chest, and Layne’s arm instinctively wraps around River’s midsection. The whole scene makes my heart squeeze painfully in my chest. With her fishing line finally untangled, I join them at their grassy spot on the bank.
“What are you two ladies up to? Looks like no good. You both need a chaperone.” I try to lighten the mood, ignore the conversation I just heard, and steer it into a new direction.
River launches her little body at me from out of nowhere. I play along and let her tackle me to the ground. We roll around in the grass and I use my arms to protect her from the rocks and debris. As always, she ends up sitting on my chest and pinning my shoulders to the ground.
“You’re pinned! I won!” She laughs and it’s the best sound in the world to my ears. Her laughter and happiness are genuine. I know she misses her mom, but I do everything I can to meet her every need.
“Every. Time,” I complain. “You always beat me up. You’re a little bully.”
“Am not. You’re just a pansy.”
We play this game frequently, but today I temporarily forgot that we had company. Layne’s laughter reminds me that we have an audience and she just heard my daughter refer to me as a pansy.
“Time for a new game,” I announce to River. She gives me a challenging look, almost like she knows what I’m doing. I swear, this kid is too smart for her own good. “I’m hungry.”
“We just ate. You’re not hungry,” River replies suspiciously.
“I am hungry. Hungry…for some baby back ribs!” I growl.
River shrieks and jumps off my chest, intent to run from me before I have a chance to snatch her up. But she’s not fast enough and I have her in my clutches. Rolling her lengthwise in my arms, I draw her ribcage up to my mouth and start gnawing on her. She yells in between her laughs, “I’m not a corncob!”
“No, you’re not a corncob,” I agree. “Now hush, so I can enjoy my baby back ribs in peace.” With my mouth open wide, I lean in to start the tickling torture again and she screams in anticipation before I even touch her. “If you won’t be still, I can’t eat these ribs.”
“I know that, Daddy. That’s why I’m squirming.”
The three of us laugh and I put her down. “Fine. Just make me starve, then,” I chide her playfully.
She pats my stomach. “Looks like you eat enough, Daddy.”
With that, she takes off running toward the house, laughing hysterically because she just zinged me.
“I don’t know where she gets that from,” I say to Layne with all seriousness.
“No, I don’t have any clue either. Kids these days. It’s probably those cartoons she watches,” Layne deadpans before her smile covers her face. It reaches her eyes this time, and the once dim light in them grows brighter.
“Thank you for spending time with her. She probably gets tired of it just being her and me all the time.”
“She doesn’t seem to be tired of it at all. It’s so obvious that she loves you. You’re doing a really great job of raising her, Ace.”
I don’t know why I like hearing my name fall from her lips. I don’t know why my thoughts stray to hearing her say it very differently. On a breathless scream. In the throes of passion. With a primal need driving her into a frenzy.
“Thank you,” I manage to reply.
I think she just paid me a compliment, but my brain is too foggy from staring into the dark blue depths of her eyes to really process it. My gaze travels down the long strands of her thick blond hair. If I allowed myself to think about it, there are so many things I could fantasize about doing with her, my fingers in her hair, my name on her lips, my lips all over her.
If.
“I guess I should be going now,” Layne says softly. “Thank you again for the wonderful dinner and the delicious ice cream.”
“It was my pleasure, and the very least I could do as a thank-you-slash-apology.”