He was the artist. The different one. He was the bisexual brother. The one currently living in a ménage. It wasn’t like they ever treated him differently, but they had a connection to each other the likes of which he would never share.
Maybe that’s why he’d clung to Border as he had all those years ago, and why he’d made Maya his best friend even when he’d felt something different for her at the time. Now he had both Border and Maya in his life, and he was so damned scared it would all fall apart, and he’d be left alone once again that he wasn’t sure what he was doing.
It didn’t matter in the end. He’d do what he had to in order to make sure they didn’t leave him and turn him into some emo pile of shit when things went to hell.
He strolled up to his brothers, knowing if he didn’t hide what he felt about the way he was on the outside looking in, he’d hurt them. They were his family, his blood, and they didn’t deserve to feel like they’d done something wrong when they hadn’t. They had never once treated him differently for who he was, but since he felt it, it had to be real in some sense, right?
Or maybe he was going fucking crazy since everything else in his life—other than his art—seemed to be up in the air.
He would just have to deal with whatever he felt and know his brothers would always be there for him. Because there was no way he’d lose them along with the two people he truly loved when things went to shit.
He ran a hand over his face. Hell, he needed to get out of his head.
“What’s up, man?” Murphy asked as he nudged Jake’s shoulder. Owen handed up a cup of coffee, and Jake’s shoulders relaxed a bit. His brothers cared, even if he felt like the odd man out.
“Just thinking, but ready to get to work.”
Graham studied his face. “You know you can talk to us if you need to, right? Because I know there’s shit going on with you, and you’re not doing anything about it. Or if you are, you aren’t telling us. I don’t like that you keep yourself apart from us, Jake. We’re here. Don’t run from us. Okay?”
Jake blinked, a little disturbed that Graham had nailed his thoughts right on the head, though he shouldn’t have been. His older brother had always had the uncanny ability to seek out underlying problems when it came to others, though he wasn’t very good at doing it for himself.
“I’m fine,” he lied. “Just feeling a bit off-kilter, I guess.”
Owen frowned. “Well, we’re here if you need us. I know you think you’re not part of the Gallaghers because you don’t work with us full-time, but you are. Okay? You’re one of us no matter what.”
“What they said,” Murphy added. “You’re our brother, dipshit. So keep that frown off your face and let’s kick ass on this project.”
A weight lifted off Jake’s chest, though he knew it wouldn’t be that easy every day. But hell, his brothers knew him inside and out, even when he was worrying about all the wrong things. He knew he’d focused on his place in his family rather than his place with Maya and Border because his place with his brothers was one thing that would never change. He was a Gallagher, even if he sometimes felt like he was different.
As for Maya and Border…well, he didn’t know. He just prayed it wouldn’t fall apart in his hands like a bad turn on his table with a piece of clay.
“If we’re done discussing our periods, will you guys tell me what’s going on with the site today?” Jake knew he was being as ass, but it was easier than showing them what their words meant to him.
Murphy snorted. “I’ll have you know I don’t need to bleed every month to talk about my feelings. I’m an enlightened man.”
Jake choked on his coffee as Owen rolled his eyes, and Graham shook his head in exasperation.
“Whatever,” Jake said. “Let’s get to work, shall we?” His brothers nodded, and they started on the plans they needed from him. He fell into step with them, knowing that this would always be his family through thick and thin. He just hoped that he’d be able to expand it to include Maya and Border, as well.
Because if he couldn’t rely on that in his future? Well, he wasn’t sure what he would do.
Jake rolled his neck as he made his way into the café for a late lunch. He’d rather have gone to Taboo, the place next to Montgomery Ink, but he was too far away. Hailey knew his order even if he didn’t get the same thing every day. She knew her audience well, and he didn’t have the same comfort level at this random place near the job site. Though, in reality, he wasn’t sure that anywhere held the kind of ambiance that Taboo had. Hailey was a freaking genius and a magician.