Nikolai stands uptight by a sink, and he crosses his arms, his authority masking every inch of his face. Body. And eyes.
Katya barely glances at him or Sergei, who leans against a stall, his jaw hardened in severe lines. Timo hops on the counter next to Katya, and he asks under his breath, “Did you use it?”
She sniffs harder. “No.”
“Use what?” Nik asks.
“Yeah, what,” I say, my brows furrowed.
Nik frowns darkly at me. “You don’t know.”
“No.” I give Timo a look. “What happened to the three of us?” I gesture between us.
Timo brings up a foot to the counter. “John’s cousin, Camila, you all know her—she kept calling you the cool brother.” He picks his fingernail but gestures to me. “And I thought I’d officially become cooler. I gave Katya a condom. I wanted her to be safe.”
I watch Katya stare off again, and I worry about that dazed look in her eye.
“Timo,” Nikolai groans, his hand to his forehead.
“What?” Timo touches his chest. “Do we all not want our little sister to be safe? How am I being reprimanded for this?”
“So you didn’t use a condom,” I say to her, flying past Timo’s words.
“Not because I didn’t want to,” Katya says, “and for the record, after Nik’s sex talk I bought a huge box of condoms. I was eleven.”
“Those are expired,” Nikolai says. “Throw them out.”
Katya bows forward, heels of the palms to her eyes. “I can’t do anything right!”
We all tense. I edge forward to the counter and put a hand on Katya’s back. “It’s okay, Kat.” We give her a minute of quiet, and then she lifts her head.
“I’ll share details, but…” Her big orb-like eyes grow on Nik. “Don’t be mad.”
Nikolai looks like he’s swallowing shrapnel. “I’ll try not to be.”
I don’t know where this is going anymore than Nik.
Katya taps her knees with two fingers, nervous. “He complimented my flexibility, which was kind of nice. I thought it was suggestive. I mean, that’s suggestive. Right?”
I don’t want to be the one to answer these, so I look at Timo and then Nikolai.
“In what context?” Timo asks with a shrug. “I mean if he said I want to hike your leg—”
“Let’s stay on course,” Nikolai interjects.
“And we wonder why we can’t solve crimes by dinner time,” Timo quips.
Katya sniffs and says, “He saw Viva. He kind of knew about me, and he’s from Vegas. I thought…the date was nice.” She shrugs. “He paid for lunch, and since Teddy is a waiter at Imperial, he’s never seen the top suites at the Masquerade. I knew…um, I knew you were all at the pool party. So I thought…”
Nik is rigid.
I’m a statue.
Timo is frozen.
And Sergei has his hand to his mouth in concern.
“You took him up to our suite,” Nikolai says angrily. “How old is he?”
“Nineteen.”
“You’re only seventeen, Katya.”
“That’s old enough!”
Nik’s already intense gaze darkens more. “You don’t even know this guy.”
“We chatted. He’s not a stranger, okay? I wouldn’t do that. I know the rules.” She growls at the incoming tears and rubs her eyes with her arm.
(What the fuck happened.)
Sergei keeps shaking his head, and he mutters some words in Russian that sound like, “…not safe.”
My hand falls off her back, and I grip the sink counter.
“He didn’t hurt me like you think, Luk,” she repeats a sentiment she expressed earlier. “Just…” She makes a motion with her hands around her head like I need space.
Timo jumps off the counter, and I step back with him and Nik. Until we’re all facing Kat, giving her room.
“Teddy just made me feel…” Her chin quivers, face twisting. “You’re going to hate me more than him.” Her voice cracks. “And I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t.”
“We’re your brothers,” Timo says, “no judgment. I’ve probably done worse.”
“Me too,” I say.
Nikolai doesn’t add himself into the mix. He is pretty squeaky clean.
But in Russian, Sergei chimes in, “Me, as well.”
Katya rips the paper towel into pieces. “Teddy was impressed by the suite, and we were definitely flirting. I think.” She frowns. “No, I know we were.”
Timo whispers to me, “I’m scared.” He’s not joking.
“Same.”
Kat blinks, silent tears falling, and she says, “I got on my knees, went for his zipper, and he freaked out.”
What.
“He called me a slut…said he doesn’t date girls like me. Then, other worse words.” Her glassy eyes narrow at the floor. “And he ran out, and all I could hear is that one line: girls like me. For the…the longest time I wasn’t sure what kind of girl I was, and then I do one thing that I’ve wanted to do, and he decides who I am like that.” She snaps her fingers. “And I mean, don’t most guys like blow jobs? What’s wrong with me? Does he think I’m that ugly and unappealing that he’d rather run away?” Her voice hushes, and I have to strain my ears to hear. “I don’t know. It just all hurts.”
Silence leeches the bathroom, and I’m not sure who’s ready to break it. I love my sister, and the only thought in my mind is that someone—some guy—hurt her.
She cringes the longer the room stays quiet. “Someone. Say something.”
“That guy is a real tool,” Timo says. “You’re beautiful, and any guy would love to have head from you.”
I almost laugh at the look on Nikolai’s face.
“This is not what we’re going to take away from this situation,” Nikolai says sternly. “No.”
“No?” Timo gapes at Nik. “So you’re siding with the douchebag who rejected our little sister? How is that helpful? Where’s the loyalty, brother?”
Nikolai looks quickly to Kat. “I’m on your side,” he assures her, “but you don’t need to be giving guys blow jobs.” He’s always been unabashed when mentioning sex to our sister. Like it’s his duty to inform her—but also keep her safe.
We both haven’t been ready for Katya to get older.
“I want to,” she refutes. “You all do it. Why am I different? Because I’m the girl? It’s just sex. I don’t look at my virginity like a delicate flower any more than you all looked at yours like a petunia or daffodil.”
I realize now that if I can view sex as just physical, no emotions required, she may be the same way. Timo was before John. We grew up around the same dudes. She wasn’t ear-muffed because she was a girl either, but she is being treated differently because she’s one.
“Kat has a point,” I say.
She expels a relieved breath.
But Nikolai is stone.
Katya frowns at him. “I know you see me like…a little girl, but your job is done, Nik.”
His eyes cloud, jaw tightens and he rubs his lips before saying in Russian, “My job is never done.”
She asks in a shaky voice, “Do you think…I’m a slut?” She’s only looking for affirmation from Nikolai. His approval means more to us than we sometimes let on.
“No,” Nik says.
“Even if I gave him a blow job?” she questions.
“Even if you slept with him,” he says in a reassuring tone. “You’re no more a slut than all of us in this room.”
I’m smiling, the air less strained, and Timo grins back at Kat.
She takes a big breath.
“If you want to explore things, you need to buy new condoms and be safe.”
“I do, and I know,” she says with a nod.
“And you’re still young in a city with—”
“Nik,” she says, holding his gaze. “I know. I plan to talk to Thora.” Nikolai is about to raise another point, but Katya beats him to it. “I know she has few experiences, but I have Timo and Luk, too. You don’t need to worry about me all the time.”
Timo laughs. “He’s physically incapable of such complex things.”
We all break into a smile at the sound of Timo’s laughter, and then Sergei asks, “Where does Teddy work again?”
“Imperial?” Katya says, confused. “Why are you…oh my God, don’t talk to him.”
Sergei sighs out frustration but looks to Nikolai.
Nikolai turns slightly, and they’re whispering.