I ache for more. I’m so afraid that we’ll be cut off and interrupted again. Yet, I like each lengthy step, the moment stretched like a taut rubber band, readying to snap into a body-shaking climax.
While my back is right up against his chest, he does something that he knows I love. Luka wraps both of his arms around me. One snakes around my collarbones, the other around my abdomen. His embrace firm and incredibly loving. I’m vulnerable as he clutches me this strongly, but I still have control—and I trust him entirely.
Wholeheartedly.
“Tighter,” I whisper.
He strengthens the force of his hold on me. The muscles of his biceps cut in sharp lines, and my head lolls back while his lips burn hot trails up my neck.
His mouth finds mine, kissing me upside-down, and I feel his smile.
In a short breath, he whispers, “Two.”
Two: all kissing.
I reach up and run my fingers through the back of his hair. Especially as he dips his head down again and kisses me languidly, extending the force. I grind my ass, my body digging deeper against his body, even if there’s no more space. So close.
His lips break from mine, a grunt in his throat. He starts walking forward, and of course, I go with him. Not detaching. He guides us to the window, and my palms hit the glass.
“Three,” he says deeply.
Three: skin-to-skin contact.
I tremble in anticipation of what’s to come. OhGod. “Luka,” I cry out his name, and I don’t wait for him to unzip me. I spin around on him and fist his shirt.
Luka kisses me roughly, full-forced again. I kiss back. Feverishly, he rolls up the bottom of my dress to my hipbones. Exposing my panties.
I bite his lip.
He nips mine, and I finish unbuttoning his shirt. He tosses it aside, bare-chested—his sculpted abs in direct view, and then he undoes his slacks. Stepping out of them, I see the outline of his cock in his dark-blue boxer-briefs, rock hard and long.
Swiftly and skillfully, he unzips me in one quick stroke, and my dress falls to the floor. Luka draws me against his chest like a dance move, and he murmurs, “Three, again.”
A sheen of sweat already coats our skin, and even more heat gathers. My flesh tingles, and my hands explore his body as vigorously as he rediscovers mine. Practically naked, my laced panties leave nothing to the imagination.
His forehead touches mine, staring deep into me. “You’re going up again.”
“Why?” I breathe, wanting to hear him say it.
His lip almost quirks. “I want to feel your pussy against me.”
I pulse and pulse, and without falter, he lifts me up, my legs spreading open and then gripping tight around his waist. He pushes me closer, and I arch towards him, gasping aloud.
Luka holds my ass but his other hand strikes the window. Pressed there. “Bay,” he nearly groans out. My limbs shake.
“Luka.” I wrap my arms around his shoulders, eye-level with him.
He seizes my gaze, staring straight into me again, and he rubs the inside of my thigh, inching to my panties.
Instead of letting my shoulders touch the window to brace me, he uses the strength of his left arm to keep me hoisted around him. He still cups my ass, and his more dominant hand—his right hand—finds the most sensitive place.
His fingers graze my swollen clit through my panties, and I curse beneath my breath, my veins on fire—the feeling incredible. Mind-numbing. And I never tear from his gaze.
Luka shifts the fabric of my panties so he meets flesh. Our eye-contact is just as intense, and I inhale a sharp breath as he adds friction, rubbing—OhGod.
OhGod.
He’s a statue that I tremble against, and he only clutches stronger. I can’t imagine breaking off the way he’s looking at me. It fuels me. Lights my core in a thousand extraordinary colors.
He pushes two fingers into me, and I can’t pick my mouth up, too overcome. I blaze head-to-toe from the force between my legs. Feeling full.
Luka speeds up.
High-pitched noises fly out of my mouth—I almost shut my eyes. Look at him. I stare right at him. God, look at him.
His gaze consumes me whole.
I hit a peak, pulsing around his fingers, and I buck against Luka. He retracts his hand and holds me so tight to his body. I moan softly into his neck. Hands in his hair.
Don’t let me go.
Don’t let me go.
And then my phone rings.
I lift my head slightly. Dazed. Luka glances around, but I pant, “It sounds like…my ringtone.”
He brings me to the bed and sets me on the edge. “Do you want me to—”
“No,” I cut him off. “Just…leave it.” If I answer the phone or look at the caller, this could end. I don’t want reality to catch up to us yet.
Luka listens, but he does return to his slacks. He digs in his pocket and procures a condom. I swallow, realizing that this is happening.
Tonight.
As he approaches the bed, he assesses my rigid posture and expression. “If you want to go slower—”
“It’s been four years—”
“Five.”
“I don’t think it can go slower than that,” I finish my thought. “I want this. I want you. I’m just kind of nervous because I haven’t had sex in a long time.” Unlike you.
He understands. “That’s the point of all of this, right? The list.”
“Yeah,” I nod, but we both go quiet, heaviness tensing the air. If we could, we’d be together. I think we’re both well aware of this fact by now. I scoot towards the headboard, my cell ringing out to silence.
Luka bends down and picks up his own fallen phone. He puts on a playlist of music, and the old song “Stand By Me” by Ben E. King starts playing.
I immediately smile. “You’re too much.”
He laughs. “Compliments from Baylee Wright. I’ll take them all.”
My heart is full.
As Luka towers at the edge of the bed, I eye the tattoos that cover his right leg, disappearing up the hem of his boxer-briefs. I spot a tiny river otter from afar. It’s random.
All random.
Unabashed, he lowers his boxer-briefs and frees his erection. Stepping out of his underwear, he opens the condom package and then effortlessly slides it on.
I was with him when he actually struggled at that, and now he does it easily. And his dick is bigger, which shouldn’t be surprising that he hit a growth spurt. It’s been obvious that he’s not a fifteen-year-old boy anymore.
I just soak in the differences. The similarities.
And I’m more satisfied with this new chapter of our lives. If I could rewind time, I’d be with him in that gap of separation, but since I can’t, I hang onto the present.
I crawl beneath the red covers, and the mattress undulates with his weight. Right beside me, he slips under them too, and I peel my panties off my ankles.
Naked.
We’re both naked.
I lie down, head on the pillow. I feel like this is my first time again. I’m just as nervous. It really is a giant redo of our last experience together. Caught behind a costume rack. Horrible.
We ended things one-hundred percent terribly.
Bracing his hand beside my head—and keeping his weight off of me—Luka is above my body, and he uses his knee to break apart my locked legs. Spreading them wide open.
Then he kisses my nose, causing me to smile.
“What are you scared of?” he asks quietly.
I think. And I realize that I don’t have the same fears as I did years ago. “I’m afraid of loving it too much,” I tell him.
His brows furrow. “Why?”
“Because it’s going to end. Someday. One day.”
Luka can’t promise that it won’t end, but his lips meet mine in a full-bodied kiss that lifts my chest up against his. Breathing life into me.
I clutch his biceps, my body reawakening. My ankle rubs his leg, and our tongues tangle. He clasps my cheek with one hand, and when he edges back, our eyes possess each other.
Very tenderly, Luka says, “All I know is what I feel. And I’m in love with you, Bay. Right now. Not just five years ago—but here, today. Yesterday. Tomorrow. It’s forever kind of love, and I’m not letting go. I can’t let go.”
Tears crease the corners of my eyes, and I nod in affirmation, in agreement. Too overcome to speak aloud. I touch my eyes with my finger, and he rubs an escaped tear with his thumb.