How the hell was I supposed to trust him? He was married, and he’d hidden it from me. What skeleton would crawl out of his closet next?
He shook his head. “Once I had you, I didn’t think I could ever let you go. I fucked up not telling you right away, and each day it just made a bigger hole. I can’t lose you.”
“You don’t get it, do you? You already did,” I said, and then spun around and walked away.
I glanced back as I left his room, and regretted it instantly. He was crestfallen, his bare chest rising and falling with ragged breaths.
I tried to stay strong, try to keep the tears from falling, but I knew they glistened in my eyes as I unbolted the door, opened it and pushed my way past Alexa on the stoop.
“He’s really slumming it these days, huh?” Alexa said, a cruel smile playing at her lips.
I whirled around, planning to strike back, but I hesitated. The woman looked like Landon’s equal in every way. Like she too, owned any piece of the world she stood in. But when she moved her hand again, crossing her arms and making sure that giant ring caught the light—and my eye—I couldn’t take it. I lashed out.
“You may be his wife, but he’s loved me since he was eighteen. Nothing you say changes that.”
I wasn’t even sure if that statement was true—if Landon had ever truly loved me.
Maybe Landon wasn’t truly capable of love.
But I knew that I’d loved him that long, and that my words had gotten to her. She narrowed her eyes, one hand on the door, uncertainty written on her face.
“But you know what? He’s not even worth it. He’s all yours,” I said, bounding down the steps and leaving him behind, leaving before she could say something else to make me regret my decision to walk away from the man I loved.
Chapter 2
I ended up walking halfway home before the cab I’d called found me, halfway down to the valley. I was pretty sure I had a blister on the back of my ankle, but the one on my heart hurt more.
It took ten minutes for the cab to barrel across town and drop me at my house. Ten minutes to stare out the window and wonder how things had gotten so utterly fucked up.
My house looked like it was in slumber; my dad must’ve already left for work. Matt’s car was in the drive, though, and he was the one I really wanted to confront.
I found him on the couch, watching the news with a steaming cup of tea on the table next to him. I grabbed the remote, clicked the TV off, and threw it down.
“Whoa,” he said. “Who pissed in your cheerios?”
“You lied to me,” I said.
His eyes widened and he sat up, and in that instant I knew what he thought I was referring to. Knew he was thinking about his cancer, about what went down yesterday when he was puking and saying he’d had six beers. But that’s for another day. Right then, I was too enraged about him driving Landon out of town.
“Uh, what?”
“You always told me you didn’t know why Landon left town. You lied.”
He sat back, his brow furrowed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Three years ago,” I snapped. “You knew he’d been with me in my room, and you hit him. You insulted him. Don’t you think I deserved to know, instead of always wondering why he just took off without a word to me?”
Matt glanced at the front door and then back at me, taking in the clothing I’d been wearing yesterday when I left. “Jesus Christ, Taryn, are you sleeping with him?”
“Tell me the truth about three years ago,” I said. “Tell me what you said to him.”
“I told him he wasn’t good enough for you. He’ still not.”
“He calls you his best friend, Matt. How can you think so little of him?”
“He is my best friend. I would trust him with my life,” he said rubbing at his eyes before looking at up at me. “But not with yours.”
“You lied to me, Matt. You made me believe he didn’t care about me.”
“Oh he cared. He thought he was falling in love with you.”
I was temporarily unable to form my next thought, some of the anger fizzing out. “What?”
“He told me he thought he loved you.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. Landon certainly hadn’t mentioned that tidbit. “And?”
“And I took a swing at him.”
“What the hell, Matt?”
Matt sighed, as if explaining simple addition to a child. “If he told you he was falling in love, I knew it would be game over. You’d believe every promise he made. But that’s the thing about Landon. He makes a lot of promises he can’t keep.” He glanced over at me again. “Don’t you remember? You’d gotten your UW acceptance letter that week. You were going places and he would’ve derailed all of that. I couldn’t let him do that to you.”
“You are such an asshole,” I said. “You had no right.”
“Oh really?” He said, standing up and walking over to me. “Tell me, Taryn, why are you home at 7AM, looking like you’ve been crying?”