“No. I said I love that Kane’s not afraid of anything. But I didn’t say anything about us, you know?” She shook her head. “Maybe we’re missing something.”
“Danielle, no. You guys are awesome and you’re so happy. You shouldn’t compare yourself to anyone. Red and I are just two people and we’ve had plenty of ups and downs as you well know.”
Danielle assented to that fact. “But,” she said, picking another grape and popping it in her mouth, “you seem to have gotten past all the drama. You guys seem like you really found your stride.”
“I guess we have. That doesn’t mean we don’t have our problems.”
Danielle nodded as if she completely understood. “What about the wedding?” she said eventually. “Sometimes I wish Kane and I had done a big production instead of marrying just the two of us on the island. Are you super excited?”
“I don’t know. I’ve started to question whether I want much of a production. Maybe something really, really small. I’ve even thought of eloping. Just me and Red together, nobody else around to worry about.”
“I hope you don’t do that,” Danielle told her. “I really want to be there for your ceremony. It would mean a lot to me.”
“Yeah.” Nicole sighed. “I just don’t know if I have the energy to plan something like that and deal with all the stress involved.”
“What you need is a wedding planner.”
What I need is to have my child with me, growing inside of me still.
“Yeah, maybe a wedding planner,” Nicole replied listlessly.
Danielle started to smile. “Hey—you guys would still invite me and Kane to the wedding and everything, right—Red wouldn’t keep Kane from attending?”
“Of course we’d invite both of you.”
“I wish we could get Red and Kane to hang out under different circumstances,” she said. “I just know the two of them could be friends. I mean, Kane really likes Red.”
Nicole didn’t know what to say to that. She thought it highly unlikely that Red would ever seriously consider trusting Kane Wright enough to be friends with him. In fact, they hadn’t yet discussed Kane’s attendance at the wedding, so she was already going out on a limb by telling Danielle that her husband could even come.
“Let’s just see how it goes. We can’t force them to have play dates like they’re a couple of kindergarteners.”
“Speaking of kindergarteners,” Danielle said, getting a big grin on her face. “I was talking to Kane about kids, and he told me he might want them someday.”
Nicole got a strange feeling in her stomach, like she’d just been kicked. For a brief second she’d forgotten about her loss. And now, with this one comment from her friend, it all came flooding back like some horrible nightmare.
She forced a smile to her face somehow. “How do you feel about it?” she asked.
“Of course I want to have kids. I mean, I’m not sure when.” Danielle twisted one of her braids around a finger, still smiling and red faced. “I just picture us together—a little happy family. And then I picture all of the things I didn’t have, and giving them to our little boy—or girl,” she added hastily.
Nicole nodded with a dry mouth and eyes that were ready to fill with tears. She looked away and had a big gulp or two of her wine. She refilled the cup. “Sounds great, Danielle. Seriously.”
“I didn’t think Kane would want children. Something about him screams bachelor lifestyle, doesn’t it?”
“I don’t know him that well.”
There was a somewhat awkward silence. And then, Danielle asked the one question Nicole couldn’t take right then. “What about you and Red? Have you talked about kids yet?”
Nicole burst into tears. Again.
“Hey! Did I say something wrong, Nic?” she cried, moving closer and putting a hand on Nicole’s shoulder. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
Nicole’s whole body shook, she was wracked with sobs. And then it was as if a part of her was standing to one side and watching the fiasco and seeing how ridiculous this whole scene was. So she began to laugh. And that made her seem even crazier.
Danielle was mystified. “I’m so sorry, whatever it was I did. Nicole, tell me what’s going on. I’m…you’re freaking me out!”
Nicole tried to talk between laughing and crying. “It’s not your fault,” she finally was able to say.
“It sure seems like it’s my fault. Are you all right? Do you want to go back to the house?”
Nicole shook her head. “No.” She was catching her breath now. The storm of crying had started to pass.
“No, you’re not all right, or no, you don’t want to go back to the house?”
“Both.”
“What’s wrong? Is it something to do with Red? Is it about Kane coming to the wedding? I can tell him not to, Nicole. If it really freaks you out that much…”
Nicole began laughing again, wiping the tears from her eyes. “It’s not about Kane at all.” She sniffled. “I wish that were all it was. Something as silly as a wedding invitation.”
Danielle’s expression became grave. “You’re not…sick or something, are you?”