Nicole could feel her eyes welling up and she blinked back her tears. “I hate what you’re saying to me right now. I hate it.”
Red quieted and looked at the floor. “And then when you appeared in front of me just then like some vision, like a dream come to life—I panicked. I panicked because there hasn’t been a single second, not a single second since you left that I haven’t thought about you.”
“Then you should have been happy to see me.”
“I was. But I was also terrified, because I knew that I’d never have the strength to send you away again.” Red’s eyes were boring into hers as he continued. “It took every ounce of strength I had to make you leave last time. And now I don’t have it in me—I’m too weak and selfish to do what’s right for you. I need to keep you close to me for the rest of my life.”
“That’s all I ever wanted in the first place,” she told him. “But you found a way to make me doubt us—to make me doubt your feelings for me.”
“I know you didn’t understand why I did what I did,” he said. “I know that it seems to you like I don’t care. But really, the very opposite is true. I care about you so much, Nicole—I love you so much—that it was more important to me that you move on with your life. Be happy with someone else. Meet a really nice, normal guy who doesn’t have all this darkness inside of him ruining everything.”
“I don’t care about your darkness,” she said.
Red blinked at her. “What?”
“I said, I don’t care about your darkness. In fact, I love your darkness. I love your moods. Because I love you, Red. That’s all a part of who you are and I love you.”
Red put a hand on his face and rubbed his beard. “My god. I’m a fool. What did I do? What did I do to you?” He came over and leaned down and kissed her.
She kissed him back, and his lips were just as she remembered—everything was right—as if they’d only just kissed a moment ago. He was hungry for her, as always, maybe even more so. His hands caressed her face, as if he was a blind man relishing every curve of her jaw, the sensation of her skin against his.
“Red,” she said, breaking away. “I came here for a reason.”
He pulled back and looked into her eyes. “I figured the reason was that you knew we needed to be together. Is there another reason?”
She nodded. “Yes, there is.” Her heart was pounding again. Was she telling him too soon? He’d only just admitted his feelings--they’d finally come together again. She wanted to enjoy this moment and not ruin it.
But why should telling him the truth ruin anything?
“Nicole,” he said softly. “You know you can tell me everything.” He stroked her hair and smiled.
“I’m scared,” she whispered. Her hand went to her stomach, reflexively.
“Don’t be scared,” he replied. “Just say it. Whatever it is you came to tell me, you can just say it.”
Nicole licked her lips and swallowed. Red sat down on the edge of the couch, his body touching hers. He was so warm and his presence so comforting, his eyes were soft and caring. She didn’t want to lose this sensation of being taken care of.
“Promise me that you won’t be angry.”
“I won’t be angry, babe.”
She smiled at him calling her babe, as if no time had gone by at all. As if he hadn’t ordered out of his life and run away. She believed him completely—in his mind she’d never stopped being the one. Just as in her mind, she’d never truly stopped believing that he loved her completely.
“Yesterday I woke up and got sick to my stomach,” she said. Her voice shook slightly.
His brow furrowed. “You threw up?”
“Yeah. I thought maybe I had a touch of a stomach bug or something. But then it happened again this morning, and I couldn’t brush it off.”
Red nodded slightly, his expression unreadable. “Go on.”
“So I did the next thing. I went to the pharmacy and got some pregnancy tests and came home and took them. They all said the same thing.” Nicole looked into his eyes and tried to see what he was thinking.
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” he asked.
“I’m pregnant.” She burst into tears. “And I know it’s yours and I hope…I hope you…” she couldn’t finish.
“Listen to me, Nicole,” he said, his voice calm but forceful. “Look at me, babe.”
She did, even though her eyes were filled with tears.
“I love you with all my heart,” he said. “And I’m so happy that you’re carrying our child. We’re going to be a family,” he said. And then he was kissing her again, and she was kissing him back.
His hand moved down to her belly and rubbed it softly.
“Promise me you’ll never leave us again?” she said.
“Never. In my heart, I never left you,” he told her. “I thought you should leave me, but I never wanted to be apart. I was just a damn fool and I hope you’ll forgive me for being a fool.”