So Nicole did. She told her about Red’s mother, his business problems and their argument in Germany, and then how things had gone when they came back to the mansion in Connecticut. “I feel like such a drama queen,” she said. “I know I sound totally nuts.”
“Just a little nuts,” Danielle admitted. “Look, we’ve all been there. It’s hard when you really care about someone and the relationship is tumultuous. It’s difficult to know whether you can get past it or if you’re just wrong for each other.”
“The thing is, mostly it feels so right,” Nicole whispered. “I mean, he’s really sweet and loving and I know he cares about me. I feel like he’d do absolutely anything for me.”
“Okay, that’s awesome,” Danielle said.
“But then he has these moods. You know, with his mother being such a miserable person, I think he has a lot of issues. On top of that, his business is falling apart and it’s really stressful for him. I know he’s trying, though. I see how hard he’s trying.”
“Do you love him?”
Nicole didn’t even need to think about it. “Yes, I love him completely.”
“And you believe he loves you?”
“I know he loves me.”
“Well, then,” Danielle told her. “I think if you’re both in love then you kind of owe it to the relationship to try and figure it out. Obviously you need to come up with better strategies, ways to resolve conflict.”
Nicole nodded. She’d gotten teary again. “It’s just hard. He takes it out on me sometimes, getting mad at me for doing the wrong thing. I’m just doing the best I can.”
“Well, that’s not okay. He shouldn’t make you feel bad for being yourself. You aren’t being malicious toward him and he needs to handle his own issues.”
“Yeah.” Nicole nodded. She already felt lighter. “Thanks, Danielle. You’re a good friend, you know that?”
“Actually, yes. I do know it.”
“Hey, how are you doing?”
“Can’t complain.”
“No seriously. Tell me what’s been going on with you. I’m sick and tired of dwelling on my own stupid problems,” Nicole laughed.
Danielle laughed too. And then she told her about the guy she’d met last week who’d turned out to be a total jerk. He’d taken her out to a nice dinner and paid for it and pretty much assumed that meant he was at least entitled to a blowjob.
Nicole just thanked her lucky stars that Red wasn’t one of those guys.
Danielle said that it had been hard living in their apartment by herself, and feeling more alone, feeling the lack of a companion in her life.
“I’m going to come back and spend more time with you,” Nicole said. “We’re going to hang out more, I promise.”
“It’s okay,” Danielle said. “I’m doing fine, seriously.”
“I know you’re fine, but I think it would be fun to have a girl’s night—get manicures, get our hair done. Maybe eat ice cream later on and watch bad TV.”
“Sure,” her old roommate laughed.
“Hey, thanks again for listening and for giving such great advice.”
“No problem, Nic.”
Nicole got off the phone, smiling to herself and thinking how lucky she was. Her life was charmed and most of the time she didn’t even appreciate it, she was so wrapped up in the day-to-day silliness of work, and Red’s issues, and their relationship.
Feeling a new sense of purpose, Nicole dried her tears and went back upstairs to talk to Red and apologize for leaving the room that way.
But when she got there, he was gone.
A strange fluttering sensation moved through her stomach. She checked the bathroom and he wasn’t there either.
Next, she walked to the study, hoping against hope that she wouldn’t find him in that damn room again.
Unfortunately, that’s exactly where he was.
“Hey,” she said, watching him as he sat in that same chair near the window, drinking some kind of alcohol. It almost felt like she’d gone back in time.
“Hey,” he replied, not bothering to look at her.
“I’m sorry that I left like that. I should have stayed and tried to work things out, but I just felt upset and overwhelmed.”
“I totally get it,” he said, taking a quick sip from his glass. He swirled the liquid around absentmindedly, still not looking at her.
Nicole came forward into the room. “Are you okay?”
“No, not particularly.”
“What is it? You’re scaring me a little.”
Finally he turned and looked at her. His eyes had circles under them and his expression was pained. “I’m sorry if I’m scaring you, Nicole. You should never have to feel scared. Never.”
“I just want things to go back to normal,” she told him. “Let’s go lay in bed together and laugh and talk and kiss. This is silly.”
“No it’s not.” He shook his head slowly. “I thought a lot about how I’m treating you and I don’t think it’s very good. It’s not what you deserve.”
“You treat me wonderfully. You just have some things to work out.”
“No, it’s way beyond that,” he said. “I’m no good for you, Nicole. I’m a bad guy and anyone who’s with me is going to end up in a bad place sooner or later. I can’t let that happen to you. I care too much about you.”