Steel resolve fills me. I can be brave; I need to be, if I’m going to get what I want. I’m going to ask him what he wants, tomorrow, right after I sort this shit out with my sister. Before I start anything with him, I need to fix things with her first, so he and I can have a fresh start without that weighing on me.
I’ll tell Christina that my feelings for Cole are real, though fledgling and new, that I don’t know what’s going on with him yet but I need to be open with her. Emme’s earlier advice to me helps the nervous edges of my heart feel a bit soothed. Christina loves me. She forgave me, after all, for hurting her so very badly before. I owe her the respect of being honest.
I sip my Coke and sigh, pat my belly. “This was a perfect day,” I tell him.
His eyes warm as he looks at me, and my heart flips. The look on his face isn’t lust or desire. There’s something deeper there. Our old, true friendship, yes. But also a resonance that makes my lungs tighten and my hands shake a little.
Wow, I think he might have romantic feelings for me too. And I think he’s letting me see it.
“I’m so glad we got to spend today together,” Cole replies. The gravelly rumble of his voice washes over me, makes my lower pelvis ache. The mental images start fast and hard, him on top of me, thrusting into me. My breathing gets faster.
His gaze narrows as he studies me, and his pupils get bigger. The left side of his jaw ticks. He knows I’m thinking about him sexually. And God help me, I want him to know, even though I just told myself I wasn’t going to start anything more with him until after I resolved the situation with my sister.
You’re going to be talking to her tomorrow, I will myself to remember, to repeat. I can wait another day to be with Cole.
The waiter comes over and gives us our bill, then he darts off to take another table’s order. I dig in my purse to get out my card.
“No way,” Cole says. “Put that back. Dinner’s on me.”
“You paid for ziplining,” I protest. “Dinner’s on me.” I reach out to grab the paper, and he yanks it away from me, grinning.
Our server returns, and I thrust my card at the man before Cole can say anything, sticking out my tongue.
“Shoulda been faster,” I say with a laugh.
He rolls his eyes. “You’re a stubborn snot, kitten. I gotta keep my eye on you.”
We leave the burger joint and head back to my place. His hand reaches over and his fingers intertwine with mine. It’s a friendship gesture, I tell myself. That’s all. We’ve held hands hundreds of times over the years. Hugged and even given kisses on cheeks and foreheads and crowns.
But never before did I feel like my heart might burst out of my chest at the touch of his fingers wrapped in mine. Never before did I want to believe that Cole is harboring feelings for me we’ve never talked about, ever.
That he wants to have sex with me. To hold me. To make me his.
I want him. I know that now, and I don’t want to fight it off anymore. I think I’m ready to risk it and see what can happen, if he feels the same way too.
One more day, I repeat quietly in my head. The words are getting harder to focus on, though. Because I don’t want to wait. I want to feel him right now.
As we turn onto my street, the sun is sliding down the horizon, casting oranges, pinks, purples across the sky and coating the tops of springtime leaves on trees in color. It’s lovely.
We pull into my driveway. I have a small bungalow, but it’s all mine, and I love the space.
Cole turns to me, fingers still holding mine. “I had a great time today. Thank you again. There isn’t anyone else I would have wanted to share that with.”
My heart screams at me to lean forward and kiss him. I fight the urge back and stay in my seat. “Me too,” I let myself admit. “I wouldn’t want anyone else to have been my first time doing that.”
His thumb strokes over my skin, and my skin tingles. My core tightens. I want him, I want him, and I can smell him and God his skin smells so good, like sweat and man and a little bit of his cologne still lingering on the edges. The urge to lean forward and breathe him in hits me so hard I find my body wavering toward him for a second.
Shit.
Cole’s eyes get hooded and his lips part. I can tell he’s thinking about me, and I find my core clenching tighter. “Is this the part where we say goodnight and I go home, kitten?” A challenge. I hear it in his voice. A challenge and an out at the same time. He’s putting this all on my lap.
I should take the out. I spent the day with him, and we had a wonderful time together. That hum of sexual tension was there, of course, but we focused instead of being in each other’s company, and I loved it.
Now…the air is still and quiet between us, and Cole’s looking at me, waiting for my answer. Tomorrow, I tell myself about fifty times in a rush. But I open my mouth and find myself saying, “Come inside.”