“TGIF!” Emme says to me as she opens my office door. Her grin is wide and welcoming, and the pale pink dress she’s wearing hugs her curves nicely. Her hair flows around her shoulders, unbound. “I updated your calendar to move the Wheeler meeting to Tuesday, as you requested. They’re really excited to meet with you. The woman couldn’t stop talking about what a great job you did on her cousin’s renovation. She has high hopes you’ll help her too.”
I pull up our shared calendar on my computer and quickly type a note to myself about what to bring with me to the meeting, then look at Emme. “I want you to come with me. You’re free, right?”
She nods, and her grateful smile makes my heart happy. “Of course,” she gushes. “Glad to. This sounds like a fun project—we don’t get a lot of bed and breakfasts, so it’ll be a good way to expand my knowledge base.”
“And they desperately need the updating,” I reply, grimacing as I recall the outdated orange-and-green color schemes, the worn-out furniture, the chipped tile flooring. So heinous. No wonder they’re not pulling in enough clientele. A face-lift will make a huge difference in their business. “If anyone can pull them out of the seventies with style, I think we can.”
“Absolutely.” With a nod, Emme exits my office, and it’s quiet in here once again. Too quiet.
I’m left alone with my rampant thoughts, which haven’t stopped hammering in my brain since Wednesday night’s lock-in. I can’t stop thinking about what happened between me and Cole. That soul-searing kiss. The way he made me come so hard I practically saw stars. And then I fell asleep in his arms, more protected and secure than I remember ever feeling. Despite being on the floor, I was pretty comfortable in his embrace.
Thankfully I dressed at some point during the night, because he and I woke up early Thursday morning to his brother Xander stomping down the steps, utterly confused and wondering why we were sleeping in the basement. When we told him we got locked in, he apologized profusely—of course, laughing his ass off as well.
Xander didn’t seem to detect anything had happened between me and Cole, so I was able to slip away with my dignity intact. At least it didn’t feel like the walk of shame.
I thought distance and space yesterday would help me gain perspective on the whole situation. Instead, I feel like I’ve slipped down the rabbit hole, and everything is different than it should be. A big part of me wants things to go back to how they were before, when our relationship was safe and stable and normal. Adding the sexual element in is going to change things between us, I just know it will.
And yet…I can’t stop thinking about Cole’s talented mouth between my legs, his fingers and tongue stroking me to orgasm. It was mind-blowing, unexpected, and it’s changed the way I see him now. His sexual prowess was magnetic that night, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what it would feel like to have full-on sex with the man. Limbs tangled, sweat-slicked torsos, mouths locked, breaths intermingled… I sigh and wave a piece of paper in front of my face to cool down.
Is it possible for he and I to be, I dunno, friends with benefits and not screw up our friendship? If so, is that what I want? And does he? Or was that a one-time event for him? He didn’t even come, so maybe not…?
The ache in my lower belly at the thought of feeling Cole buried deep inside me tells me that at least the physical part of me wants it. Badly.
My phone buzzes. Speak of the devil, a text from Cole. My fingers shake a little and I hesitate before looking to see what he wrote. We haven’t talked much, mostly through random messages here and there. No mention of what happened Wednesday night—the event that pretty much turned my world upside down.
I finally look.
Busy tonight? Let’s hang out.
I both want to and don’t at the same time, and I hate how angsty this is making me. I type back, Shit, can’t, sorry. I’m taking a half day today—promised to hang with Christina for lunch and shopping, since she has it off too. She’ll kick my ass if I bail on her.
My sister’s job as a nurse keeps her busy as hell, so we don’t get together as much as we’d like to. Whenever she has free time, I try to make sure I’m there. We planned this date a couple of months ago, and despite the uncomfortable itch beneath my skin to see Cole again, I can’t cancel.
Bring her with you. Haven’t hung out with her in ages—it’ll be fun.
I don’t know if I’m relieved or disappointed that he suggested this. After all, if we’re not alone, we don’t have to talk about The Thing That Happened. Then again, that means we won’t do anything else about The Thing That Happened, either.
My phone vibrates with a new text from Cole: Say yes. We’ll play pool and I’ll rob you blind. I’ll bring a buddy along too.
Well, I can’t be the one to make it awkward between us. If we’re hanging in a group, it’ll make that first meeting easier. Maybe even help me get past this weird conflict and start feeling normal again.