I can’t do that again. Can’t spend my days walking on eggshells, afraid I’m going to set someone off.
My chest tightens, and I turn from him, fighting back the emotion welling in me. “You know what? I’m going to get another ride home. Thanks for the pie.” I grab my phone and start walking in the direction we came from. I can find an Uber ride to take me, I’m sure.
“Aubrey.” His hand wraps around my upper arm.
I lift my chin and glare at him. “I’m not stupid. Don’t tell me nothing is wrong, because I know it is. And I’m not going through that anymore, so if that’s the bullshit you want to pull with me, I can’t do this.”
“This?” Smith steps forward. There’s a dark menace in his eyes, but I’m too heated myself to care if I’m pissing him off. “What is this?”
“How the hell should I know?” I swallow and try to ignore the feeling of his strong fingers on my bare skin. “Obviously ‘this’ is nothing.”
“It’s not nothing, and you know it.” He leans down until our mouths are an inch apart. “I spent all week telling myself to stay away from you. That we’re better off this way. You not getting dragged down by someone like me. I can’t let you.”
“You’re not dragging me down, Smith. I don’t know why you’d think that, either.”
“I don’t know. Maybe because I’m such a perv,” he says, a trace of bitterness in his voice.
It suddenly hits me that I’ve insulted him. “It was a joke,” I say. “I thought you’d laugh.”
“But that’s the problem. It’s not a joke,” Smith says, and there’s real emotion in his voice now. “I like things dirty. Rough.”
Something about that admission makes me throb, awakens all my nerve endings. “How dirty? How rough?”
He sees my reaction, and his nostrils flare.
Smith brushes his mouth on mine, a delicate touch that belies his next words. “I don’t think you could handle how rough I want it with you.”
“Is that…is that related to why you left while I was sleeping?” I have to know. To know it wasn’t that I did something wrong. That maybe he’s struggling with this demon inside him.
I go to drop my hand when he captures it and brings my fingertips to his mouth. He sucks them in, then licks them, and the desire that floods me from the tugging sensation is almost too much. God.
“The things I want to do to you…” He stops and drops my hand, steps away. “But I can’t.”
“Please, stop playing games with me,” I reply. I’m tired of the big, bad Smith acting like he’s the only one who wants dirty things in bed. Yeah, I’ve only been with two men—well, now three—but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a healthy sexual appetite. “I have a feeling I can handle whatever it is that you’re into.”
Even as I say the words, I wonder if I’ve bitten off more than I can chew.
He narrows his eyes and when he speaks, there’s a warning in his tone. “That sounds distinctly like a challenge, Aubrey. One I’m not sure you’re ready to undertake.”
Some boldness makes me assert, “Well, there’s only one way for us to find that out, isn’t there.”
Smith
“My liver hurts,” Jax complains as he drinks another beer. He kicks his bare feet up on my coffee table.
“Put your feet down,” I say to him, a complaint I’ve been lobbing at him for years. It’s a fruitless effort; I already know he isn’t going to. I take a swig of my own beer and settle back on my worn couch.
From his spot on the other end of the couch, Asher shifts, swigging his dark beer. “So, you’ve been busy lately,” he says in a casual tone, shooting a side glance at me. He’s so wanting to question me but he’s too nervous to do so.
Jax, however, has no fucks to give. “You and Aubrey are practically inseparable,” he murmurs, making sure to adjust his feet so they’re even sturdier on my coffee table. Dick. He gives me a careless smile. “You guys must be fucking like bunnies.”
“It’s none of your business,” I tell him as I turn my attention back to the TV. There’s a soccer game on but we’re not paying much attention. I watch the men run up and down the field chasing the ball. Sip my beer. Hope that they’ll drop the subject of Aubrey.
Because honestly, I don’t quite know what to think. After we went out for key lime pie a few nights ago, we’ve seen each other every day.
But I’ve tried my best to keep my dark urges at bay.
I don’t know why I’m not just banging the fuck out of her. I want to. Especially after she issued that challenge to me, her eyes glowing with fire. But Aubrey has no idea what she was asking me for. Because to fully release myself, to let her see the “perv” I really am, would destroy any chance we have together. She might think she wants to see what I’m all about, but she doesn’t.
A girl as pristine and angelic as Aubrey would melt in my fire. I can’t do that to her. I won’t do it to her.