But Aubrey is different. Aubrey wouldn’t be okay with the occasional fuck, the late night drinks followed by a blowjob. She would want to be wined and dined and she deserves that much and more.
Only, I know I can’t give her any of it. I’m hardly keeping my head above water and the last thing I need is another person counting on me.
Jax slides up beside me. “She is pretty,” he murmurs, giving her an appraising look. “Probably amazing in bed, too.”
“Don’t even fucking thinking about it,” I retort. I don’t have any right to be possessive of her, I know, but I am. And I don’t want to spend any time mulling on the reasons why.
Jax shoots me a knowing look. The fucker can see right through me. Always could. He’s so good at reading unspoken thoughts. A couple of women have asked him if he’s psychic. “You like this girl,” he says. It’s not a question.
“Not at all.” I give a casual shrug, hoping he’ll buy it. “She’s not well suited for our bar. But I don’t want to be a dick to her or anything. We should just leave her alone.” There, a nice and easygoing answer. Nothing that reveals the true depth of my strange, unwanted feelings. The deep-down longing I have to tug her toward me again, taste her mouth again.
To taste more. To rip those tight jeans down, shove her panties aside, and lick the fuck out of that wet pussy.
I bet her come tastes amazing on my tongue.
My cock throbs harder at the thought. I can’t seem to push the images aside quite so easily. Because looking at her, perched on the bar stool, so innocent and unknowingly sexy, makes me want to do wicked, dirty things to her. Mess up that glossy hair and watch her unravel for me.
Jax shoots me a long look, then turns his back on me deliberately and moves over to her. “What can I get you?” he asks Aubrey.
She murmurs something to him, and he nods, strolls over to the bar, and pours her a beer. I bet it’s the beer I recommended for her that first night. I studiously keep my attention on the tasks at hand, cleaning the bar and serving other customers. I can’t let myself fall into this…whatever I’m feeling.
Because this girl isn’t like Maria. She doesn’t seem like the person who would flit from one sexual encounter to another, not caring too much, not getting attached. She seems like the forever type, and I don’t fucking want that at this point in my life.
Right?
I finish pouring a beer for Sam when Aubrey’s eyes connect with mine. I feel it square in my gut, a pull toward her. There’s a crackle of attraction between us so strong, I’m surprised no one else in the bar is winded by it. It almost knocks me off my fucking feet. The heat in her eyes, the smoky promise… No, no, no, I keep chanting, but I feel myself weakening.
I want her.
Plain and simple truth. I want her. I want to push inside her. I want to grip her hair and tug her scalp and lick her bared throat. I want to tie her wrists and ankles to my bed, make her helpless, weak, wet for me.
I want to leave my marks on her, bruise that delicate flesh, have her sore and aching after I ravage her.
But my cravings are most definitely too dark for her. And even if they weren’t, I’m not going to be any good for her. My life is way too fucked up and complicated to have anything to offer a girl like her. I’m not the white-picket-fence kind of guy. I can’t let myself start thinking otherwise.
Just having her here in Outlaws worries me. She shouldn’t even be within ten miles of me or this fucking place. It’s not safe—I’m not safe.
Jax lingers by her, talking with her, and she gives him a beatific smile. I find my own heart clenching in response. Fuck, how can she be so beautiful? Even still, with the glow on her face, I can see something deeper lingering underneath. An emotion that seems to haunt her, that has haunted her since I first met her.
I shouldn’t let myself care about what’s going on with this chick. But I want to know. Why did she move to our town, our state, of all places? Why does she have that sadness around her?
Is she as pure and innocent as she seems?
Could she ever be interested in entertaining my dirtiest desires? The way I’d love to bend her over and smack my hand on her ass, just to start? Leave my handprint on her skin as a mark of ownership, of possession?
How I’d like to sink my teeth into the back of her neck? Cuff her to my bed? Brand the insides of her thighs with the suction of my mouth, the clench of my teeth? My hunger is deep and wicked, always unsatisfied.
There’s no way Aubrey could fulfill that. She looks too fragile and innocent to be into any sort of pain.
Then she shoots me a look. Her eyes connect with mine over my brother’s shoulders, and there’s a heat in there that surprises me, floods my body. Like she knows she’s driving me crazy and she wants to. Like she wants me hungry for her. I see the way one side of her mouth crooks in the corner. How her eyes lower ever so slightly, hooded, aroused. She wants me too. I can see it plain as day.