This isn’t a “Dear Drake” letter, even though that’s the way it started. I’m going home, but I’m only leaving because I want to give you space and time to digest everything I’ve told you.
I’d like to say I would’ve done things differently, but I don’t think I would have. Some people might say that I’ve been hiding from my past for the past ten years, and I guess on some levels that’s true. But in my mind and heart, Abigail is dead, and I never wanted to resurrect her.
I’m so ashamed of what I did, and for what I let my parents do to me. My only excuse is that I was young and afraid. All I can hope for is that in time you’ll understand.
When I first saw my picture in the paper, I was terrified, and when it happened again, I knew I needed to tell you. Your life is so public, I should have never started a relationship with you, but it was out of my hands. My heart wanted you when we met, and before long, my body and soul ached for you.
I won’t be calling, and not because I won’t want to but because I can’t. You need to be ready to accept everything that I’ve told you.
There’s one thing I haven’t told you, something I regret now that I hadn’t shared with you yet. I’ve fallen in love with you, and because of that, if you need me to, I’ll let you go.
Always,
Lucy
I must have read her letter at least five times, and my head spun with her words.
In love with me.
Let me go.
She ached for me.
This was an anomaly for me. In my profession and for the most of my adult life, I was the decision maker, the problem solver, the one people turned to. But now I was at a loss.
A soft knock on the door pulled me out of my thoughts, and when I looked up, my mom walked in and sat on the bed next to me.
Sliding an arm around my back, she asked softly, “Are you okay, sweetheart?”
I hung my head. “I don’t know, Mom. Is it wrong that I’m thirty-five and still need advice from you?” I gave her a tight smile, and she kissed me on the temple just like she did when I was a little boy.
“Drake, honey, you could be sixty-five and you could still talk to me.” Her gaze shifted to the paper clutched in my hand. “Is that from Lucy?”
“Yes. Did she tell you everything?”
“She said she fell in love with you, and if I know my son, you fell for her too.”
“I did. I know it’s fast, but now I just don’t know.”
“You don’t know if you love her?”
The thought of not loving Lucy made my heart hurt. “No, I know I love her. She told me about her past tonight, and I don’t hold any of it against her. Lucy’s parents are so different from you and Dad. I wish I could tell you everything, but it isn’t my story to tell.”
My mom placed her hand on my arm. “She told me if you needed to tell me, you could.”
I shook my head. “I don’t even know where to start.” All I could think was poor Lucy.
“Please don’t think less of her.”
My parents were devout Catholics, and I wasn’t sure how my mom was going to take the news. I knew she’d be very upset about what Lucy’s parents put her through, but I was nervous just the same.
“Drake, I promise you I’m here to listen and to give you any advice that you may need, but all decisions will be yours. I won’t judge Lucy; I happen to adore that girl. From the first day I met her, I could tell she’d be someone special not only to you, but to me. She fits in with our family, and I can see she makes you happy.”
“Very happy,” I said with a small smile.
I took a deep breath and told my mom Lucy’s story, from what happened with Greg to her parents’ threats. Then I handed Mom the letter.